Advice desperately needed!!!

[dustijane]

What is the name of your state?CA I found this site while surfing the web...I am in a terrible and discouraging predicament and I would love to hear what other people think. My husband, Steve, has a ten year old son from a very, very brief relationship. When the child was born, the mother told him it was not his child and he believed her (or was relieved, maybe, as he was very young). There was no contact for two years, and then a family member ran into the mother. She admitted that it was his child and she was ready for him to a father. My husband had just (two weeks previous) had another child with a then-current girlfriend, and chose not to see the child at this time. Again, no contact for years, until two years ago she began receiving public assistance, so of course the courts tracked down my husband and he has since been paying child support. Also, we have tried so hard to invite him into our lives to become a part of our family. We took him to the lake, the beach, parks, everything. Unfortunately, he decided he did not want to come over any more (I believe he was scared to pull away from his mother, who happens to love him very much but too overprotective. For instance, he is ten years old and his mother still takes him into the women's restroom, because she is afraid of somebody hurting him). Anyways, we are now paying over $600 a month for this child who may or may not chooses to visit us once every few months or so. I wonder if there is something we can do...I know the mother loves him and just wants to keep him safe, but he has obvious speech and social problems, which I believe is due to the lack of father presence. Any advice? I would really appreciate it! Thanks, D.J.

 

[coosi]

I take it there is a child support order. Is there also a court order for visitation and custody? If so, what does it say?

 

[dustijane]

Re:

There is and has been a child support order for the last two years...we are paying 600 dollars per month. However, there is no custody/visitation order, we are getting ready to go to court soon to establish this. I was just wondering what kind of rights does my husband have regarding this child?

 

[coosi]

Lots of good info here

www.divorcesource.com/CA/info/visitation.shtml