ex didn't make the pickup on Friday

[luvisabattle]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? washington

my ex was supposed to pick our daughter up from school on Friday, but didn't. I had e-mailed him thursday and texted him friday am because the school had noon release, he didn't respond. at 10:30 I e-mailed our daughter's teacher, him again, and his lawyer reminding everyone that it was his weekend and that they had early release.

He's ignored me before, so I wasn't surprised at the no respons. 30 min after he was supposed to be there the school called me to say our daughter was still waiting. I picked her up, bought her lunch and then her step mom called. We arranged for her to pick my daughter up at my office.

Meanwhile the lawyer had sent two e-mails and three voice mails (work phone, cell phone twice and work e-mail) saying that she was going to file a contempt charge against me for picking up our daughter.

My question is - can she do that, and in fact shouldn't I be able to file one against HIM?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? washington

my ex was supposed to pick our daughter up from school on Friday, but didn't. I had e-mailed him thursday and texted him friday am because the school had noon release, he didn't respond. at 10:30 I e-mailed our daughter's teacher, him again, and his lawyer reminding everyone that it was his weekend and that they had early release.

He's ignored me before, so I wasn't surprised at the no respons. 30 min after he was supposed to be there the school called me to say our daughter was still waiting. I picked her up, bought her lunch and then her step mom called. We arranged for her to pick my daughter up at my office.

Meanwhile the lawyer had sent two e-mails and three voice mails (work phone, cell phone twice and work e-mail) saying that she was going to file a contempt charge against me for picking up our daughter.

My question is - can she do that, and in fact shouldn't I be able to file one against HIM?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

She certainly can, in fact you should invite the attorney to make the motion, that way you can present evidence that dad left his little girl hanging. Call their bluff ~ don't allow yourself to be bullied.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? washington

my ex was supposed to pick our daughter up from school on Friday, but didn't. I had e-mailed him thursday and texted him friday am because the school had noon release, he didn't respond. at 10:30 I e-mailed our daughter's teacher, him again, and his lawyer reminding everyone that it was his weekend and that they had early release.

He's ignored me before, so I wasn't surprised at the no respons. 30 min after he was supposed to be there the school called me to say our daughter was still waiting. I picked her up, bought her lunch and then her step mom called. We arranged for her to pick my daughter up at my office.

Meanwhile the lawyer had sent two e-mails and three voice mails (work phone, cell phone twice and work e-mail) saying that she was going to file a contempt charge against me for picking up our daughter.

My question is - can she do that, and in fact shouldn't I be able to file one against HIM?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I can't imagine that he could prevail in such a stupid thing. (If it makes you feel better, get a signed statement from whomever at the school called you to tell you your D was still waiting. But you won't need it, likely.)

And you would have NO reason to "file one against HIM."

Just let the stupid stuff go.

 

[luvisabattle]

Their reasoning was that I should have been communicating with the step-mom reminding her as well as him.

I would have, but because of past issues (many past issues) with the step-mom, they asked me not to have contact with her. She still sends me texts etc, so I guess that only goes one way. In our parenting plan the dad is responsible for the school information as well as I am. They send out a weekly e-mail to the parents that included the reminder about the early release.

This is the third or fourth time he has left our daughter in the lurch. She was affraid he wouldn't come as well because the teacher e-mailed me this am and said she had our daughter call him on his cell to remind him of the early release.

There are other issues that need to be resolved that would take me filing a motion (pro se) that I had hoped we could work through, so that's why I'm bringing this up. I don't think his behavior will change without some court action.

 

[Antigone*]

Their reasoning was that I should have been communicating with the step-mom reminding her as well as him.

I would have, but because of past issues (many past issues) with the step-mom, they asked me not to have contact with her. She still sends me texts etc, so I guess that only goes one way. In our parenting plan the dad is responsible for the school information as well as I am. They send out a weekly e-mail to the parents that included the reminder about the early release.

This is the third or fourth time he has left our daughter in the lurch. She was affraid he wouldn't come as well because the teacher e-mailed me this am and said she had our daughter call him on his cell to remind him of the early release.

There are other issues that need to be resolved that would take me filing a motion (pro se) that I had hoped we could work through, so that's why I'm bringing this up. I don't think his behavior will change without some court action.

Where in your court order does it say that YOU have to communicate with SM

 

[luvisabattle]

the pp doesnt say it- his lawyer said it in her voice mails and later in his e-mail to me he said I was responsible for letting the sm know.

 

[Antigone*]

the pp doesnt say it- his lawyer said it in her voice mails and later in his e-mail to me he said I was responsible for letting the sm know.

Don't listen to his lawyer. YOU have no reason or need to deal with dad. He is a grown man.

Like I said, tell dad to bring on the contempt action that way you can tell the court how he dumped is own daughter.

Also, no need to email his attorney or SM either.

 

[luvisabattle]

Thanks, I appreciate your help. He's decided not to sign the modified pp we had agreed on in mediation a few months ago and is fighting a change in a afterschool program for our daughter, so I have to go back to court and just needed more info about what's allowed.

thanks again

 

[nextwife]

. . .saying that she was going to file a contempt charge against me for picking up our daughter.

That's utterly ridiculous. Most schools require that the child be picked up by X minutes after dismissal. The child can't be left there just waiting for step mom to take her sweet time and get there.

Additionally, it's BS to expect step mom to act as dad's proxy. If DAD wants to communicate what's needed with step mom and ask her to pick up AT THE REQUIRED TIME instead of himself, fine and dandy, but it's pretty sexist to expect that any pickup communication should need to go through "the women". It's dad's job to communicate with step mom, if he wishes, not yours. There is utterly no reason a child's parents should not be the ones discussing pick up/drop off times.

Bottom line: DAD is reponssible for letting step mom know, if he does not himself plan to be there.