Extending Child Support through college in California????

[maxsmom]

What is the name of your state? california
i live in california and my settlement agreement from 13 years ago states that my ex-husband is to pay cs "until said child marries, dies, is emancipated, eighteen years of age or ninteen and still in high school, or until further order of the court". i would like to know if i can get the support extended through college. my son will be 17 next month and is a junior in high school. do i stand a chance in getting the support extended? if not, can i go for an increase in support and bank the difference for college? i have not had an increase in 8 years....he is remarried with 3 other children, he makes $90k a year, his wife makes $80k a year. i am remarried, however, have not had any other children, but i do have a 15 year old step son with my current husband of 7 years, my current husband makes about $170k per year and i am a homemaker. Does my husbands income play a roll? Does my ex's spouses income play a roll? i used to get $320.00 per month, then in about 1994 we went back to court and since then, i have gotten $430.00 per month. i don't want to break my ex, however, i feel like he should be held responsible in helping pay for educating our child. it should not all lay on my current husband and myself! my current husband and i have put him through private schooling without help from my ex. can he be held to step up to the plate?

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

I don't think you can get support past the age of majority in CA. You can probably get an increase tho if you haven't been for a review in 8 years. Your spouses income, nor your ex's spouses income, will be considered during support calculations, but his subsequent children may. Perhaps your son can apply for grants and student loans for college.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I don't think you can get support past the age of majority in CA. You can probably get an increase tho if you haven't been for a review in 8 years. Your spouses income, nor your ex's spouses income, will be considered during support calculations, but his subsequent children may. Perhaps your son can apply for grants and student loans for college.

My response:

The above answer has my "Good Broken-Home" seal of approval.

IAAL

 

[maxsmom]

Thank you for your input. I do not want to get in a huge fight with my ex if it is not going to actually help the financial situation. I try to work things out myself, as a confrontation, that would make him angry is not worth the stress put on my son.

So, again, I thank you. It seems as though it might be better to have my son apply for grants and loans, as you have suggested.
Being that my ex has 3 other children to support, I am not sure if it would be much over the $430.00 per month that I currently collect and having it reviewed by the DA might be an uncomfortable waste of time for all of us.

By the way.......what is a "Good Broken-Home" seal of approval?

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

I think IAAL is just saying I answered correctly LOL he's an attorney in CA.

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

I just wanted to add, if your ex is making 90k a year, you'd probably receive more than $430 a month in support if you asked for a review. My husband doesn't make anywhere near 90k and he pays around that much for 1 child and we have a child of our own. It may be worth checking in to.

 

[maxsmom]

Oh, a lawyer....what a place to find one, huh....lol. I wasn't sure if it was "code" talk or something. I appreciate your input. I really don't want to cause tension between me and my ex, I just wish there was some way to have him help with our sons education.

 

[maxsmom]

Well, to be honest with you, I had never heard of a "review" until today. I was telling a friend of mine that my ex had stated that he only had "13 more payments to make" until our son is 18. My friend was telling me that I should contact the Santa Clara County District Attorney and ask them to review the child support. Do you happen to know.....if I ask the DA to review the case, will my ex find out that I asked the DA to check in to it? Do you know anything about a "review"?

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

I honestly don't know the answer to that one. I'm sure IAAL can take over and answer LOL maybe he'll know.

 

[maxsmom]

Well, I appreciate the input that you have given me. I will patiently await a response from IAAL

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

I would normally take the time to discuss the subject of a "child support increase". However, it's not really worth my time or effort because our writer has already voiced the concern about
"making him [the ex-husband] angry [and] is not worth the stress put on my son."

I can only conclude that a dialogue on the subject, and anything I tell our writer, is going to eventually "make him angry" and eventually cause "stress" to the child. And, our writer would know best in these regards.

So, to remain safe in your cocoon, just go about your business the way you've been doing, and keep accepting the $430.00 per month.

However, if your son's education means more to you than the potential "anger" and "stress" that will be caused, and you're actually willing to do something, then you let me know.

IAAL

 

[maxsmom]

WOW, how do I answer that? I would have to say that in the end, my sons education is most important. Over the years I have learned to pick and choose my battles with the ex...that is why I always tend to back away. I never want any bad feelings and I want everyone to get along. My behavior, at times, angers me. I wish I could just take control but he really intimdiates me. The bottom line is that my ex really doesn't like me anyways, I mean, I divorced him, so why am I so worried about keeping the peace...there are times when I feel like my ex needs to "get over it". I really do believe, that, although he may get angry (never physically - just a huge attitude), he would have to eventually "get over it".

We should both have our sons best interest at heart, and his education is his future. I believe that parents should be responsible in making sure that our children have the tools and resources necessary to further their education.

Perhaps I am the one who is not providing the tools and resources if I do not pursue what is rightfully my sons....an education! I have put my son through a Christian high school, with his future in mind. I always thought his dad would help, however, now I am sure he will not without some kind of legal help. I have not, however, discussed this with him.....his last words to me were "well, only 13 more checks till he is 18". That is the statement that made me start thinking about his role in the continuing education.

By the way, my ex tried to fight the Christian school when he was in 2nd grade because he married a mormon. He lost that case on the grounds that he had started the school in junior kindergarten, 3 years prior to my ex's marriage to his current spouse, and the fact that she has no parental rights over our child. So, needless to say, none of the $430.00 monthly is designated for education purposes....he elected not to help with the cost of the private school.

Can my son get over it???? Absolutely....he wants to go to college and thinks his dad is tight for cutting him off at 18 years old, while he is still in high school. The court order says until he is out of high school, however, I haven't discussed that with the ex yet, either! go figure.

So now, please tell me, you being a lawyer, knowing that you have worked on both sides, am I wrong? Do I have a chance in getting some kind of help from him? Does my son have a chance in getting a good college education? Am I headed in the right direction?

Your thoughts are appreciated.

 

[maxsmom]

Also, I should let you know that I have never asked my ex for more money because I always felt guilty for leaving him, he took the breakup really hard. I also have a husband who takes very good care of us, he makes good money and he never complains about the lack of financial support from my ex. As I stated earlier, my husband has a 15 year old son that we are also putting through the same Christian schooling. My husband has an agreement with his ex to share in their college education. I believe that my problem is that I need to realize that although I do not need my ex's money, my son does! Does that make
sense to you? I do believe that my ex should not have to pay me because I have decided to be a homemaker, but I do not feel that I am asking for much....just an education for our child.

 

[stephenk]

other than hoping dad pays for college, what has your son done to prepare to pay for college - loans, scholarships, grants, etc.? How much are you contributing toward college? What college/s has he applied to?

Has your ex ever expressed that he would contribute to your son's college education? It will be a rare happening if the court orders your ex to pay or contribute for college at this stage of the game.

With the income your ex is making, his child support should be higher. However, he may oppose the motion to modify support and keep it in limbo long enough that by the time an order of modification is signed, your son is no longer a minor.

 

[maxsmom]

My son has been working part-time for 3 years, he has recently purchased a 1997 Ford Ranger. We matched his savings and he is paying the remaining amount due. We are currently looking into colleges for him and as far as what I am contributing....that would be the full amount (less any grants that he might receive) unless my ex steps up to the plate! I will do what I have to do to see that my son has access to a college education.

And, the only mention that my ex has made regarding college has been that our son should enlist in the army to get a free education.

Do you think the child support should be more, even though he has 3 other children with his current wife...aren't his children considered "hardships" or something of that sort?