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Father wants visitation, I want to relocate

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Bethm187

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY. I am a grandparent with joint legal/physical custody with my daughter of grandchild, order also states "any and all visitation is suspended" with regards to the father. They were not married but there is a Acknowledgement of Paternity. Grandson has lived in my home since birth, I am the primary caregiver. The father who recently was released from prison (2 felony assaults of police officer, mis. reckless endangerment 2nd and misdemeanor endangerment of minor) wants to visit. He hasn't seen child since Oct. 2013, my grandson was 2 at the time. Grandson does not remember his father. I have plans to relocate to another state, my daughter has consented to the relocation (she is a drug addict and will be soon be serving 6 months in county jail for DUI).
Do I have to allow visits or should I insist on court ordered? Do I have to have fathers consent to relocate?
Thank you
- The reason to relocate is my husband is looking for a better job and he is the main support for the family. My grandson is also covered under my husband's health insurance.
 
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HRZ

Senior Member
DItto ...this is one for family law attorney ASAP. And SHUT UP until advised by counsel. And do not allow anything prior to advice from counsel...if necessary , get lost ...but get counsel..
 

xylene

Senior Member
Quite honestly you need to think about the future with daughter too.

6 months is not a long sentence and addicts recover. :)
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY. I am a grandparent with joint legal/physical custody with my daughter of grandchild, order also states "any and all visitation is suspended" with regards to the father. They were not married but there is a Acknowledgement of Paternity. Grandson has lived in my home since birth, I am the primary caregiver. The father who recently was released from prison (2 felony assaults of police officer, mis. reckless endangerment 2nd and misdemeanor endangerment of minor) wants to visit. He hasn't seen child since Oct. 2013, my grandson was 2 at the time. Grandson does not remember his father. I have plans to relocate to another state, my daughter has consented to the relocation (she is a drug addict and will be soon be serving 6 months in county jail for DUI).
Do I have to allow visits or should I insist on court ordered? Do I have to have fathers consent to relocate?
Thank you
- The reason to relocate is my husband is looking for a better job and he is the main support for the family. My grandson is also covered under my husband's health insurance.
Dad will receive visitation of some sort as he has constitutional rights. Why haven't you talked to your grandson about his father? Why don't you have a picture of his father?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
It's likely that Grandma feels that it's better for the well-being of the child to not be "burdened" by such thing as such a young age. From experience, I can say that she is not true. The child will, in all likelihood, harbor resentment towards grandparents (as well as towards his father.) We tend to forget that, despite our best intentions in attempting to "protect" them, children need to know the circumstances of their parentage.
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
You may be right Zinger but she doesn't seem to think that her drug using, criminal daughter is to much of a burden on the child.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
You may be right Zinger but she doesn't seem to think that her drug using, criminal daughter is to much of a burden on the child.
Huh? Some of dad's crimes were against a minor (possibly even the child) so I think its comparing apples and oranges. I am not saying that mom isn't a problem too but if she was only sentenced to six months in the county jail her crimes are not quite on the level of dad's.
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
I didn't say the father was a saint. I was pointing out the hypocrisy.

Let's look at Misd Child Endangerment laws in New York

260.10 Endangering the welfare of a child.
A person is guilty of endangering the welfare of a child when:

1. He or she knowingly acts in a manner likely to be injurious to the
physical, mental or moral welfare of a child less than seventeen years
old or directs or authorizes such child to engage in an occupation
involving a substantial risk of danger to his or her life or health; or

2. Being a parent, guardian or other person legally charged with the
care or custody of a child less than eighteen years old, he or she fails
or refuses to exercise reasonable diligence in the control of such child
to prevent him or her from becoming an "abused child," a "neglected
child," a "juvenile delinquent" or a "person in need of supervision," as
those terms are defined in articles ten, three and seven of the family
court act.
So we don't know exactly what he did and no misdemeanor and few felonies should ban a father from seeing their child.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Just to point out...based on the wording of that law, a person who allows their minor child to work in a factory could be guilty of the crime.
Or a person could have been in an uber without a car seat. It could be a lot of simple things... or more serious...
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Or a person could have been in an uber without a car seat. It could be a lot of simple things... or more serious...
However, if the court order states, "any and all visitation is suspended" with regard to the father, as OP states, it would be helpful to know why. If it's just because Dad was in jail, that's one thing. But if Dad was believed by a judge to be a danger to the child, shouldn't Dad have to legally re-establish his parenting time in a court order?

In any case, OP should petition for the court's permission to move kiddo out of state. (That was, after all, her legal question.) Mom and Dad will have to be served, and can choose to respond.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
However, if the court order states, "any and all visitation is suspended" with regard to the father, as OP states, it would be helpful to know why. If it's just because Dad was in jail, that's one thing. But if Dad was believed by a judge to be a danger to the child, shouldn't Dad have to legally re-establish his parenting time in a court order?

In any case, OP should petition for the court's permission to move kiddo out of state. (That was, after all, her legal question.) Mom and Dad will have to be served, and can choose to respond.
Dad needs to go back to court but Grandmother needs to prepared that dad WILL get some sort of visitation if he asks. And you are correct about the relocation.
 

HRZ

Senior Member
APparently NY has some rather strict notice standards...might be smart to get the ball rolling by the book FAST ...currently as posted dad has no visition rights ....and getting ahead of his being able to reverse same may be a tactical advantage to your point of view ...USE counsel.....dad has right to seek reestablishment of some visitations ...but to me that's different than later seeking to move and de facto reducing some level of visitations he recently re acquired ..unless you are jumping to pay his travel expenses apparently NY review standards allow judge to review big picture as best fits and not some priority list ...no matter what...use a skilled guide .. even bad parents have piles of rights .

MIght be wise to offer some modest visitation and pray dad makes very limited use of same....let counsel call the shots.

BTW you probably have right to seek CS from dad based on at least NY min wage ...it may not be much ..but then again he has duty....let counsel call the shots..
 

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