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Kids Kicked Out Of Their Own Home!

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tater_tot

Member
I'm in Virginia. OK, first I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. My ex is remarried and has been for 1 year and almost 7 months now. I am remarried myself and I have been for 2 years next Monday. My ex has pretty much denied the fact that her and her new husband are living together (she claims they are separated), for tax purposes and claim of daycare need. Anyway my ex has custody during the school year and I have 3 weekends per month visitation and then I have a 2 week block (14 consecutive days) with my kids during the school year. Then during the summer I have custody and my ex has 3 weekends per month visitation and a 2 week block with the kids during the summer. Anyway starting yesterday, March 18, 2002 I was to begin my 2 week block with my kids(they were suppose to ride the bus to my house after school) and I was going to let my ex have the kids back at 2PM Easter Day, because my kids are alot happier when they get to spend time with both of us on holidays. So Saturday night, March 16, 2002 my ex calls me from her moms house and wants to know if I want the kids the next day at 3PM (Sunday) and I said yes because I always want my kids every minute I can get them. Well, I knew right then that meant my ex's husband and her had broken up, because she works nights now and my kids having been staying the night with their step-dad while she worked and believe me she is the type, "Until I need something from you (such as a free babysitter) then I have the say so of where the kids stay at.". When my kids got here at 3PM Sunday they confirmed that indeed their mom and stepdad had, had a fight and were no longer together, but then they proceeded to tell me that they had spent the night at their grandmothers (ex's mom) with their mom on Saturday night and their mom may not be going home Sunday, because their step dad had refused to leave their house and that's why their mom packed a few of their things up and went to her moms house. Well I know for a fact he is still in the house and as far as I know my ex isn't. Now yes my kids are with me until Easter Day, but my question is when my kids go back to their mom if they still can't go back to their house, because their stepdad is still there then is there anything I can do? Also, let me add the house is still in my ex's and my name, but she was granted possession of the house in October 1998. I really don't care what my ex and her new husband do, but it's effecting my kids now and I won't stand for that. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. Thanks.
 


L

lovemybabies

Guest
Personally i would get a attorney while you have the kids at your house and have something done. If stuff like this is going on around the children something needs to be done. They cant go home? That is so wrong the man needs to leave. But, i would call attorney and dicuss with him/her. Maybe you can get temp custody til the x decides to get her ducks in a row. The kids do not need to be around all the mess.
 

tammy8

Senior Member
I agree that you should do something now while you have the kids. Also just wondering why you dont' have first right of refusal although it may not apply to their stepfather although I thought that it applied for any time period. Ask your attorney about that. Another thing, can you get your name off the property that stepfather is living in? I wonder what your legal rights are on him living in the house and why he has the house anyway. I really hope that you get your kids stable real soon!
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
In my state the first right of refusal isn't anything but a suggestion. Secondly it doesn't apply to step-parents it only applies when the parent would be taking the children either out of their home or bringing someone else inside the home. I have had to deal with this question a lot lately for I babysit for my boyfriends' ex wife's son and his dad pull the first rights thing. BM and BD couldn't get along so mom would bring child here, maybe two nights a week and Dad would have a fit. It was causing a lot of trouble here but I thank God now that he was here. we just found out over the weekend that dad was manufacturing drugs in his home even when his 9 yr old son was with him. Obviously dad is losing all visitation rights now.
 

tater_tot

Member
OK, first let me say I do have any attorney, but right now in our county there is no judge, because the one we had retired and they still after 7 months have not appointed/elected (whatever) another one. That's why my situation through the legal system has been put on the back burners for so long. Believe me if there is anything I can do I will. I have already contacted my attorney's office and am awaiting a reply from him, if I do not hear back by Friday I am going to his office and then I will go from there. See, the thing I keep being told is until we have a judge there's nothing I can do (I don't know though when it comes to this new situation). Also, if I was to go to this guy and get him to make a sworn statement to my lawyer about everything then if him and my ex get back together before court and he starts back tracking on everything he's said then would they disregard the sworn statement or would they believe the lies because he was now reconciled with my ex? Just curious, I think out of the two (my ex and her husband) he would tell me the truth (he's kind of afraid of me). Don't get me wrong I wouldn't threaten him or anything I would just simply ask. I come here for advice, because I learned from the first attorney I had don't rely on them solely do everything you can for yourself, because then you know what you want that can be done will get done. Thanks to all for the advice and I will let you know what happens.


PS
My kids are suppose to go home Easter day so that gives me this week and next. Thanks!
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
Here's a suggestion. The police won't get involved usually with custody matters. At least they won't here. She could call the police and say you haven't returned the kids and they could investigate it but they couldn't force you to return them and she in turn would have to go to court for it. Without a judge it sounds like little either of you could to to solve it immediately. Many may disagree with me but I would say keep them and force the county to do something or let her have the problem of getting them to do something.. either way keep you kids safe. I dont' see how her husband can stay in the home and kick her and the kids out when the house isn't in his name.
 

haiku

Senior Member
I would find out from a lawyer first before i kept the kids from her.

i say this only because unless she is living in a homeless shelter, and even then unless the kids are in danger, you really cant legally keep them if it is not your time.

My husbands ex moves the kids every one to two years to live with different boyfriends or relatives, and though not how you want your kids raised, there is nothing wrong enough to take the kids away from her for it.

I would try to get her to let you keep them 'while she works out her marital difficulties" and then work on seeing if maybe the kids living with you would be better at that time.

as far as the house goes, unless she was given the house for her exclusive use only, she can let whoever she wants live in it. And if she chooses to leave her home and leave her husband in it that is her choice. she still cant do anything more permenant than that because your name is on the mortgage.
 

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