Long-distance Visitation

[micmac]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Trying to figure out what I should ask for in regards to visitation. Background: haven't seen son since he was 4 months old, he's almost four. Ex wants supervised visits in a therapeutic setting with no hope of graduating to me having him in the summers. THey live in VA. I've heard VA is really strict. Says she will use DV background against me despite the fact that I was nolle pros'd which to my understanding means the charges were dropped. What should I request when I file for visitation? What would the schedule look like because of the distance and our contentious history?

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Trying to figure out what I should ask for in regards to visitation. Background: haven't seen son since he was 4 months old, he's almost four. Ex wants supervised visits in a therapeutic setting with no hope of graduating to me having him in the summers. THey live in VA. I've heard VA is really strict. Says she will use DV background against me despite the fact that I was nolle pros'd which to my understanding means the charges were dropped. What should I request when I file for visitation? What would the schedule look like because of the distance and our contentious history?

Posting Hx on this one is a must-read.

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Trying to figure out what I should ask for in regards to visitation. Background: haven't seen son since he was 4 months old, he's almost four. Ex wants supervised visits in a therapeutic setting with no hope of graduating to me having him in the summers. THey live in VA. I've heard VA is really strict. Says she will use DV background against me despite the fact that I was nolle pros'd which to my understanding means the charges were dropped.
What should I request when I file for visitation?

What would the schedule look like because of the distance and our contentious history?

Therapeutic visits in child's community (2 hours twice a month for 3-6 months or whatever amount of time is recommended by therapist) steps to:

Supervised by neutral third party or other parent (2 hours twice a month in child's community for 3-6months) steps to

Unsupervised visits in child's community (4-6 hours twice a month for 3-6 months) steps to

Unsupervised overnight visits (1-2 overnights in child's community for 3-6 months) steps to

Possible long distance travel to your residence for a week, maybe two weeks for summer.


Visits in child's community are for the comfort, convenience and benefit of the child. You want to be part of this child's life? Do in this child's life.

OP, you are on disability (see https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-support-98/incorrect-amount-582201.html.)

Can you afford the airfare? Can you even make that kind of commitment?

 

[stealth2]

Posting h/x.

 

[CSO286]

Posting h/x.

I read that. And remembered this guy. This OP is nutters, but I gave him a legit answer to his question.

If he wants parenting time, he's going to have to prove he can man up and do what needs doing to be part of the child's life.

 

[micmac]

Therapeutic visits in child's community (2 hours twice a month for 3-6 months or whatever amount of time is recommended by therapist) steps to:

Supervised by neutral third party or other parent (2 hours twice a month in child's community for 3-6months) steps to

Unsupervised visits in child's community (4-6 hours twice a month for 3-6 months) steps to

Unsupervised overnight visits (1-2 overnights in child's community for 3-6 months) steps to

Possible long distance travel to your residence for a week, maybe two weeks for summer.


Visits in child's community are for the comfort, convenience and benefit of the child. You want to be part of this child's life? Do in this child's life.

OP, you are on disability (see https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-support-98/incorrect-amount-582201.html.)

Can you afford the airfare? Can you even make that kind of commitment?

I can afford to visit twice a year. Will that make a difference? How about the fact that she was the one that moved? Will she have to pay for transportation? She moved then became a VA resident then the court order was made. Can my family come with me to the visits? If I'm visiting twice a year does that mean it will stay supervised since I won't be able to manage the above schedule? THanks

 

[micmac]

I read that. And remembered this guy. This OPis nutters, but I gave him a legit answer to his question.

If he wants parenting time, he's going to have to prove he can man up and do what needs doing to be part of the child's life.

She wants a step-parent adoption and I'm trying to fight that.

 

[TheGeekess]

I can afford to visit twice a year. Will that make a difference? How about the fact that she was the one that moved? Will she have to pay for transportation? She moved then became a VA resident then the court order was made. Can my family come with me to the visits? If I'm visiting twice a year does that mean it will stay supervised since I won't be able to manage the above schedule? THanks

IF you had visitation/custody before the move, probably. But since you waited until Mom moved and filed for CS, then, no, she is NOT responsible for the expense.

Oh well. If you can't/don't want to make an effort to be in Junior's life, then that's on you.

I thought Step-Dad wanted to adopt Junior? What happened there?

 

[Zigner]

She wants a step-parent adoption and I'm trying to fight that.

So that just adds ANOTHER question to the mix. Why?

 

[micmac]

So that just adds ANOTHER question to the mix. Why?

Because he is my son! She just wants to cut me out of his life.

 

[micmac]

IF you had visitation/custody before the move, probably. But since you waited until Mom moved and filed for CS, then, no, she is NOT responsible for the expense.

Oh well. If you can't/don't want to make an effort to be in Junior's life, then that's on you.

I thought Step-Dad wanted to adopt Junior? What happened there?

He does. And she says she wants me to make the decision w/o influencing me. more likely shes happy to receive the money and not have visitation so it's the best of both worlds.

 

[micmac]

IF you had visitation/custody before the move, probably. But since you waited until Mom moved and filed for CS, then, no, she is NOT responsible for the expense.

Oh well. If you can't/don't want to make an effort to be in Junior's life, then that's on you.

I thought Step-Dad wanted to adopt Junior? What happened there?

We lived together before the move. She moved because of the "dv issue". Didn't give me a chance to make amends and used the RO to her advantage.

 

[Zigner]

Because he is my son! She just wants to cut me out of his life.

You've done that pretty successfully all on your own for the last 3.5 years.

 

[CSO286]

Because he is my son! She just wants to cut me out of his life.

You cut yourself out of this child's life. If you wanted to ensure a relationship with him, you needed to file back when mom first left. From a court's perspective, you may as well have abandoned the child.

 

[micmac]

You cut yourself out of this child's life. If you wenated to ensure a relationship with him, you needed to file back when mom first left. From a court's perspective, you may a s well have abandoned the child.

I haven't abandoned him. I send presents when she asks and pay child support. She goes through the "there are two types of daddies, and while [husband] isn't the daddy who helped make you, he loves you just as much as if he was" speech and my son calls him daddy half the time and mr. name the other half of the time according to her. I don't have a huge issues with that since I hada few step fathers when I was young but while my father was absent I knew he hadn't abandoned me. If I let the adoption going through she has said if I contact them again after that she will take legal action as I would have no right.