Maine Motion to Modify Child Custody

[Harmony163]

Hi all, this is my first forum post!

I reside in Maine and my ex-husband has filed a motion to modify our child current custody court order. He currently has my son every Wednesday night and every other Friday and Saturday night, and we communicate to establish a schedule for holidays.

He has been living with his current girlfriend for approximately one year, and this past summer she wanted all communication to go through her. She wants me to have zero contact with my ex-husband. She also wanted me to go out for coffee with them on occasion to establish a friendly co-parenting situation. I had an excellent co-parenting situation with my husband before this woman entered her life, and worked well with previous girlfriends of his, and respectfully declined her wishes. She has been very controlling and I often feel as though I am talking to her via text and not the father of my son.

My son will be 7 in August and is a very bright boy who excels in school and karate. He is very well behaved and mature beyond his years. If my son wanted to spend more time with his father and his girlfriend, then it wouldn’t take a court order for me to allow that. I have always wanted the best for him, and always will. When I was served with the motion to modify by the police (I have a lawyer but apparently his lawyer made a filing mistake, unfortunately at the cost of seriously startling my child) I had a talk with my son. I told him that I love him and want him to be happy and that if he wanted to spend more nights with his father then I truly want that for him.

My son is very decisive for his age and expressed adamantly that he loves his life and wishes for no changes to his schedule. That is the reason that I had my lawyer decline my ex-husband’s request. I truly feel that there is no significant change that warrants this motion to modify and that his girlfriend is truly trying to gain power over me. I feel defeated because of the inevitable thousands of dollars that will be spent on attorney fees that could have gone towards my child’s first car. I have many questions, but my first is whether or not this is even warranted?

The significant changes since the last court order (which was ~5 years ago) that he listed on the motion to modify were that:

One: the child is now in school. But I’m not sure how that pertains to my son thriving under the motion to modify guidelines. He is already a gifted and talented student and I have worked with him extensively with reading and math. During the one school night a week he is with his father he doesn’t always review his spelling words.

Two: his employment situation has changed. My ex-husband has been self-employed since the last court order and claims to earn very little money when filing for his taxes. I realize that this lowers his child support and is unfair to me, but what I am focused on is my child’s quality of life. How does a change in the employment status of my ex-husband improve my child’s life? I am a director of nursing and have a lot of schedule flexibility and have managed all of my son’s medical appointments, his father has attended one or possibly two. I provide health care insurance for my son because his father is self-employed. I am worried about my son’s quality of life if he spends the 50% of nights with his father that is being requested.

Three: that our communication has broken down. This is true, his girlfriend doesn’t allow me to pick up my son at his father’s house anymore. We have to meet at a central location and she is always there. The one time his father attended one of his karate practices was when I was on vacation and his girlfriend knew I wouldn’t be there. His father and I had an excellent co-parenting situation before she influenced his life, but I’m not sure how awarding him more time with my child brings about any benefit to my son. I am actually less comfortable with my child being in his care, especially when my son tells me that neither his father nor girlfriend supervised him while being at a stranger’s house (who ended up being a friend of his girlfriend). I am being left out in the dark on numerous parenting decisions, and it seems like a way for my ex-husband to prove his loyalty to his girlfriend (that he is willing to hurt me). I am no longer to communicate with my ex-husband over the phone unless there is an emergency (and if there was, he still wouldn’t answer because he wouldn’t think it was emergent, I have tried before).

Do any of these “significant changes” warrant me having to spend thousands of dollars on attorney fees and go to trial to fight for the status quo? My son’s life is not broken and I am not sure what we are trying to fix here. I feel as though I am going to trial for my son, and his father is going to trial for his girlfriend.

He is fighting for 50/50 and is not even allowed to take phone calls from me per his girlfriend. I don’t want to be left out in the dark about half of my child’s life. This has been a nightmare for me as a mother and I really need advice regarding how to proceed. I am requesting a guardian ad litem so my son’s wishes can at least be heard as he is very clear about what he wants, and he is very open and honest with me. He told me that his father asked him if he wanted to spend more time with them, and my son said that he wanted everything to stay the same. Unfortunately, his father invalidates his feelings and says that he is too young to understand and know what he wants. I am at a loss and feel helpless

Practical advice?

 

[LdiJ]

Hi all, this is my first forum post!

I reside in Maine and my ex-husband has filed a motion to modify our child current custody court order. He currently has my son every Wednesday night and every other Friday and Saturday night, and we communicate to establish a schedule for holidays.

He has been living with his current girlfriend for approximately one year, and this past summer she wanted all communication to go through her. She wants me to have zero contact with my ex-husband. She also wanted me to go out for coffee with them on occasion to establish a friendly co-parenting situation. I had an excellent co-parenting situation with my husband before this woman entered her life, and worked well with previous girlfriends of his, and respectfully declined her wishes. She has been very controlling and I often feel as though I am talking to her via text and not the father of my son.

My son will be 7 in August and is a very bright boy who excels in school and karate. He is very well behaved and mature beyond his years. If my son wanted to spend more time with his father and his girlfriend, then it wouldn’t take a court order for me to allow that. I have always wanted the best for him, and always will. When I was served with the motion to modify by the police (I have a lawyer but apparently his lawyer made a filing mistake, unfortunately at the cost of seriously startling my child) I had a talk with my son. I told him that I love him and want him to be happy and that if he wanted to spend more nights with his father then I truly want that for him.

My son is very decisive for his age and expressed adamantly that he loves his life and wishes for no changes to his schedule. That is the reason that I had my lawyer decline my ex-husband’s request. I truly feel that there is no significant change that warrants this motion to modify and that his girlfriend is truly trying to gain power over me. I feel defeated because of the inevitable thousands of dollars that will be spent on attorney fees that could have gone towards my child’s first car. I have many questions, but my first is whether or not this is even warranted?

The significant changes since the last court order (which was ~5 years ago) that he listed on the motion to modify were that:

One: the child is now in school. But I’m not sure how that pertains to my son thriving under the motion to modify guidelines. He is already a gifted and talented student and I have worked with him extensively with reading and math. During the one school night a week he is with his father he doesn’t always review his spelling words.

Two: his employment situation has changed. My ex-husband has been self-employed since the last court order and claims to earn very little money when filing for his taxes. I realize that this lowers his child support and is unfair to me, but what I am focused on is my child’s quality of life. How does a change in the employment status of my ex-husband improve my child’s life? I am a director of nursing and have a lot of schedule flexibility and have managed all of my son’s medical appointments, his father has attended one or possibly two. I provide health care insurance for my son because his father is self-employed. I am worried about my son’s quality of life if he spends the 50% of nights with his father that is being requested.

Three: that our communication has broken down. This is true, his girlfriend doesn’t allow me to pick up my son at his father’s house anymore. We have to meet at a central location and she is always there. The one time his father attended one of his karate practices was when I was on vacation and his girlfriend knew I wouldn’t be there. His father and I had an excellent co-parenting situation before she influenced his life, but I’m not sure how awarding him more time with my child brings about any benefit to my son. I am actually less comfortable with my child being in his care, especially when my son tells me that neither his father nor girlfriend supervised him while being at a stranger’s house (who ended up being a friend of his girlfriend). I am being left out in the dark on numerous parenting decisions, and it seems like a way for my ex-husband to prove his loyalty to his girlfriend (that he is willing to hurt me). I am no longer to communicate with my ex-husband over the phone unless there is an emergency (and if there was, he still wouldn’t answer because he wouldn’t think it was emergent, I have tried before).

Do any of these “significant changes” warrant me having to spend thousands of dollars on attorney fees and go to trial to fight for the status quo? My son’s life is not broken and I am not sure what we are trying to fix here. I feel as though I am going to trial for my son, and his father is going to trial for his girlfriend.

He is fighting for 50/50 and is not even allowed to take phone calls from me per his girlfriend. I don’t want to be left out in the dark about half of my child’s life. This has been a nightmare for me as a mother and I really need advice regarding how to proceed. I am requesting a guardian ad litem so my son’s wishes can at least be heard as he is very clear about what he wants, and he is very open and honest with me. He told me that his father asked him if he wanted to spend more time with them, and my son said that he wanted everything to stay the same. Unfortunately, his father invalidates his feelings and says that he is too young to understand and know what he wants. I am at a loss and feel helpless

Practical advice?

As far as practical advice is concerned I will first agree with you that it seems like his new girl friend is the one driving things, and that is really sad. It appears that you have had a good working relationship/co-parenting relationship prior to her involvement and it does appear that she is damaging that, to the detriment of your son.

That is something that your attorney needs to make sure that the judge understands.

Otherwise, you simply have to make it clear to the judge that your child is thriving under the current arrangement and that you do not believe that any changes are in your son's best interest. No one can predict whether or not a judge will decide that changes are in order or not, but getting the information out there about the over stepping of dad's girlfriend is really important.

 

[t74]

Shame on you both for talking with your son about adult decisions. Neither of you should be discussing custody changes with him. IF his change in income was completely voluntary (not because of changes in the employment opportunities in your area), you could have had the original support level ordered to continue.

It sounds like there has been actions on child support since the current custody order. If so, why are you just now complaining?

You state that the is no define holiday schedule. You might want to add this to any changes since that often becomes an issue; with the girlfriend involvement, this is more likely to occur.

Are your girl friend problems unique to the current one? Make sure you are realistically evaluating your contributions to the problem; some women just do not want any other woman involved with their ex even though she does not want to be involved with him. There is a little too much "what a great mother I am and he does not measure up" in your post. Is there a reason why the exchange now must take place in a public location? You do not mention whether you have a boy friend; if so, evaluate how he factors into the equation.

 

[LdiJ]

Shame on you both for talking with your son about adult decisions. Neither of you should be discussing custody changes with him. IF his change in income was completely voluntary (not because of changes in the employment opportunities in your area), you could have had the original support level ordered to continue.

I have a problem with this. I know that its the standard advice, but I cannot imagine giving a child no warning at all that a custody change might happen. I cannot imagine just suddenly telling a child that their life is going to be totally different, right at the moment when its going to be totally different.

It sounds like there has been actions on child support since the current custody order. If so, why are you just now complaining?

I think that you may have misunderstood about child support. Her wording is awkward but I think that child support is potentially going to change now, rather than in the past.

You state that the is no define holiday schedule. You might want to add this to any changes since that often becomes an issue; with the girlfriend involvement, this is more likely to occur.

I agree that would be a good thing to change, considering the circumstances.

Are your girl friend problems unique to the current one? Make sure you are realistically evaluating your contributions to the problem; some women just do not want any other woman involved with their ex even though she does not want to be involved with him. There is a little too much "what a great mother I am and he does not measure up" in your post. Is there a reason why the exchange now must take place in a public location? You do not mention whether you have a boy friend; if so, evaluate how he factors into the equation.

She already answered that question.

I had an excellent co-parenting situation with my husband before this woman entered her life, and worked well with previous girlfriends of his

And its the girlfriend who insists on the public place, not mom or dad.

Its interesting that you never post anything, ever, that doesn't dig at the mother or accuse the mother of bad behavior. Even when the situation is clearly not the fault of the mother.

 

[Ohiogal]

Hi all, this is my first forum post!

I reside in Maine and my ex-husband has filed a motion to modify our child current custody court order. He currently has my son every Wednesday night and every other Friday and Saturday night, and we communicate to establish a schedule for holidays.

He has been living with his current girlfriend for approximately one year, and this past summer she wanted all communication to go through her. She wants me to have zero contact with my ex-husband. She also wanted me to go out for coffee with them on occasion to establish a friendly co-parenting situation. I had an excellent co-parenting situation with my husband before this woman entered her life, and worked well with previous girlfriends of his, and respectfully declined her wishes. She has been very controlling and I often feel as though I am talking to her via text and not the father of my son.

My son will be 7 in August and is a very bright boy who excels in school and karate. He is very well behaved and mature beyond his years. If my son wanted to spend more time with his father and his girlfriend, then it wouldn’t take a court order for me to allow that. I have always wanted the best for him, and always will. When I was served with the motion to modify by the police (I have a lawyer but apparently his lawyer made a filing mistake, unfortunately at the cost of seriously startling my child) I had a talk with my son. I told him that I love him and want him to be happy and that if he wanted to spend more nights with his father then I truly want that for him.

My son is very decisive for his age and expressed adamantly that he loves his life and wishes for no changes to his schedule. That is the reason that I had my lawyer decline my ex-husband’s request. I truly feel that there is no significant change that warrants this motion to modify and that his girlfriend is truly trying to gain power over me. I feel defeated because of the inevitable thousands of dollars that will be spent on attorney fees that could have gone towards my child’s first car. I have many questions, but my first is whether or not this is even warranted?

The significant changes since the last court order (which was ~5 years ago) that he listed on the motion to modify were that:

One: the child is now in school. But I’m not sure how that pertains to my son thriving under the motion to modify guidelines. He is already a gifted and talented student and I have worked with him extensively with reading and math. During the one school night a week he is with his father he doesn’t always review his spelling words.

Two: his employment situation has changed. My ex-husband has been self-employed since the last court order and claims to earn very little money when filing for his taxes. I realize that this lowers his child support and is unfair to me, but what I am focused on is my child’s quality of life. How does a change in the employment status of my ex-husband improve my child’s life? I am a director of nursing and have a lot of schedule flexibility and have managed all of my son’s medical appointments, his father has attended one or possibly two. I provide health care insurance for my son because his father is self-employed. I am worried about my son’s quality of life if he spends the 50% of nights with his father that is being requested.

Three: that our communication has broken down. This is true, his girlfriend doesn’t allow me to pick up my son at his father’s house anymore. We have to meet at a central location and she is always there. The one time his father attended one of his karate practices was when I was on vacation and his girlfriend knew I wouldn’t be there. His father and I had an excellent co-parenting situation before she influenced his life, but I’m not sure how awarding him more time with my child brings about any benefit to my son. I am actually less comfortable with my child being in his care, especially when my son tells me that neither his father nor girlfriend supervised him while being at a stranger’s house (who ended up being a friend of his girlfriend). I am being left out in the dark on numerous parenting decisions, and it seems like a way for my ex-husband to prove his loyalty to his girlfriend (that he is willing to hurt me). I am no longer to communicate with my ex-husband over the phone unless there is an emergency (and if there was, he still wouldn’t answer because he wouldn’t think it was emergent, I have tried before).

Do any of these “significant changes” warrant me having to spend thousands of dollars on attorney fees and go to trial to fight for the status quo? My son’s life is not broken and I am not sure what we are trying to fix here. I feel as though I am going to trial for my son, and his father is going to trial for his girlfriend.

He is fighting for 50/50 and is not even allowed to take phone calls from me per his girlfriend. I don’t want to be left out in the dark about half of my child’s life. This has been a nightmare for me as a mother and I really need advice regarding how to proceed. I am requesting a guardian ad litem so my son’s wishes can at least be heard as he is very clear about what he wants, and he is very open and honest with me. He told me that his father asked him if he wanted to spend more time with them, and my son said that he wanted everything to stay the same. Unfortunately, his father invalidates his feelings and says that he is too young to understand and know what he wants. I am at a loss and feel helpless

Practical advice?

Do you have JOINT custody or SHARED PARENTING? Because if so, it is possible that legally he can get a time change without a significant change in circumstance. If the case had been docketed as closed and this is a reopening then your prior attorney would not have been served necessarily.

 

[Ohiogal]

I have a problem with this. I know that its the standard advice, but I cannot imagine giving a child no warning at all that a custody change might happen. I cannot imagine just suddenly telling a child that their life is going to be totally different, right at the moment when its going to be totally different.



I think that you may have misunderstood about child support. Her wording is awkward but I think that child support is potentially going to change now, rather than in the past.



I agree that would be a good thing to change, considering the circumstances.



She already answered that question.



And its the girlfriend who insists on the public place, not mom or dad.

Its interesting that you never post anything, ever, that doesn't dig at the mother or accuse the mother of bad behavior. Even when the situation is clearly not the fault of the mother.

It is interesting that you never post anything, ever, that doesn't defend the mother or absolve the mother of bad behavior. Even when mother is not innocent. In other words, you appear to be the pot calling the kettle black.

OP, please answer my question regarding what type of custody is currently in place.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Shame on you both for talking with your son about adult decisions. Neither of you should be discussing custody changes with him. IF his change in income was completely voluntary (not because of changes in the employment opportunities in your area), you could have had the original support level ordered to continue.

How about shame on Dad for having Mom served by police in front of the child? Believe me, VOE, when the police show up at your door, it makes a big impression on a 7 year old.

I would agree that I wouldn't discuss child custody with a 7 year old. I'm still evasive with my 12 year old.

The way I would have handled it is say something like, "Dad and I don't agree on some things. That's why we don't live together."

It sounds like there has been actions on child support since the current custody order. If so, why are you just now complaining?

Um... *Dad* is the one using "change of employment" as a reason to change child *custody*.

Mom just commented that child support is based what self-employed Dad self-reports for tax purposes, and questions, "How does a change in the employment status of my ex-husband improve my child’s life?"

Many a person has come on here and been told that changes in the NCP's life do not qualify as a "change of circumstance" for parenting plan purposes. Regardless of whether Dad has joint custody, the status quo and current court order has called for very little parenting time. "I have a new girlfriend who is jealous of all past relationships and wants to prove herself a better Mom than the actual Mom of my child" is not a valid "change of circumstance".

You state that the is no define holiday schedule. You might want to add this to any changes since that often becomes an issue; with the girlfriend involvement, this is more likely to occur.

Are your girl friend problems unique to the current one? Make sure you are realistically evaluating your contributions to the problem; some women just do not want any other woman involved with their ex even though she does not want to be involved with him. There is a little too much "what a great mother I am and he does not measure up" in your post. Is there a reason why the exchange now must take place in a public location? You do not mention whether you have a boy friend; if so, evaluate how he factors into the equation.

I think you could greatly benefit from an education based on today's Common Core ELA standards.

This is a case of a "woman who just does not want any ex involved with their man, even if the ex shares a child with their man". The current girlfriend wants all communication to go through her. The girlfriend does not want OP and OP's ex-husband to communicate directly. We also see plenty of this here. Some new bedwarmers are possessive. Some new bedwarmers are insecure. Some new bedwarmers are overprotective. Some new bedwarmers are eager to prove that they are the best bedwarmer ever, superior to all previous bedwarmers.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
To OP:
The 5 years is a change of circumstance. Many things have changed since your child was a 2 year old.

Dad's employment changes sound... vague. Expect his bedwarmer to try and assert that because there are 2 of them, that is a more stable situation. They are not married. She is legally nothing to no one involved in this legal action.

One change that you might reasonably offer: alternating holidays and dividing school vacations.

One thing you should request: no third party communication (that would be using the new bedwarmer as an intermediary) and communicate through the court approved site of choice. Our Family Wizard or whatever.

Talk about this to your son as little as possible. If he asks, try to keep things as uninvolved as possible. I've been known to say, "You're Dad and I don't agree on some things, so we let a judge decide for us. I'm just following the court order."

 

[Harmony163]

Shame on you both for talking with your son about adult decisions. Neither of you should be discussing custody changes with him.

My son likes to be made aware of changes before they occur, otherwise he does not understand and, understandably, becomes upset. I feel as though I discuss things with my son appropriately. During the one night of the week he spends away from me, he returns with a drawing for me the next evening. He never mentions his father or makes drawings for him when with me, even during the 7 day stretch that he doesn't see him. That being said, I want him to have a good relationship with his father so before I made it clear to my attorney that I refused the motion to modify, I wanted to ensure that my child didn't want to spend more time with dad.

It sounds like there has been actions on child support since the current custody order. If so, why are you just now complaining?

I may have misspoken, I am not complaining about the current child support situation. His motion to modify stated that they don't want child support revisited so that his request for 50/50 is not perceived as financially-driven. I am not caught up on finances, just the schedule of my child, particularly when he is in school I do not want changes to his established schedule.

Are your girl friend problems unique to the current one?

Yes, my ex-husband used to playfully (when we were functional co-parents) complain about his prior girlfriends (two) who would speak so highly of me. His current girlfriend failed out of nursing school and seems to be very insecure. I am a director of nursing and so I am sure that doesn't help. She also, unlike other girlfriends, doesn't have children of her own, but my ex-husband doesn't want any more kids so perhaps she feels as though I have something with him that she never will, and he will never give her. Her parents have my child refer to them as grammie and grampie, which has confused my child since all four of his grandparents are in his life, who he sees every week.

Is there a reason why the exchange now must take place in a public location? You do not mention whether you have a boy friend; if so, evaluate how he factors into the equation.

Yes, this past summer I went to pickup my son who was having the time of his life showing both of his parents (at the same time) how well he could ride his bicycle. My ex-husband and I were smiling and enjoying a moment with our son. His girlfriend came storming out of the house with her hands on her hips, giving me nasty looks, and being generally overwhelming.

Yes, I do have a boyfriend who lives with my son and I. He has not affected my communication with my son's father once, he doesn't seem to be at all bothered by the situation and my son is obsessed with him (in a good way). They are really great buddies, but he doesn't make any parenting/discipline decisions, it's as if he supports me support my son, it is refreshing. It seems like my ex-husband's girlfriend hasn't fully accepted his former life with me, but my boyfriend has, he understands the situation for what it is, and doesn't try to rewrite history.

 

[Harmony163]

Do you have JOINT custody or SHARED PARENTING? Because if so, it is possible that legally he can get a time change without a significant change in circumstance. If the case had been docketed as closed and this is a reopening then your prior attorney would not have been served necessarily.

I am not understanding of all of the legal terminology, so my apologies, but I do know that we have joint custody. His motion to modify includes a request for shared primary residence. I am not sure if my case had ben docketed as closed, but I have had the same attorney throughout this process, from the time of our divorce.

 

[Zigner]

My son likes to be made aware of changes before they occur, otherwise he does not understand and, understandably, becomes upset.

Wait, is this the same child who is "mature beyond his years"? You can't have it both ways. The simple fact of the matter is that you should NOT be telling the child that it's up to him how much time he gets to spend with his father. You've done a poor job in that area.

During the one night during the week he spends away from me, he returns with a drawing for me the next evening.

Awesome - dad encourages him to do nice things for you.

 

[Zigner]

I am not understanding of all of the legal terminology, so my apologies, but I do know that we have joint custody. His motion to modify includes a request for shared primary residence. I am not sure if my case had ben docketed as closed, but I have had the same attorney throughout this process, from the time of our divorce.

You are represented - please direct your questions to your attorney. It would be irresponsible for us to second-guess your attorney. Best of luck to your child.

 

[Harmony163]

One change that you might reasonably offer: alternating holidays and dividing school vacations.

Thank you, I think that is a really good idea. Up until their relationship we would always just communicate effectively and he was always super laid back. But now I no longer feel as though I am talking to the same person, everything is unrealistically rigid. I understand that a court lays out a black and white map for parents to follow, but the map is not the territory, and effective communication and co-parenting seems paramount to me. For example, the public location that they wish for us to meet at does not get plowed during the winter, and after a recent Nor'easter I was forced to park in a dangerous location on the roadside because he no longer answers his phone, and I don't want to text while driving. On Christmas day we were snowed in and unable to leave the house due to more than a foot of snow. Luckily he was able to come pick up his son as he has a truck well-suited for those conditions. But we were in the middle of a blizzard, a court ruling can't account for these scenarios, and we have to be able to work things out like we once did.[/QUOTE]

Talk about this to your son as little as possible. If he asks, try to keep things as uninvolved as possible. I've been known to say, "You're Dad and I don't agree on some things, so we let a judge decide for us. I'm just following the court order."

Thank you, I will definitely keep that in my back pocket. My attorney is seeking a guardian ad litem for my son, I imagine they are trained to not negatively influence the child with this scenario? That being said, his father doesn't want the guardian ad litem, either because of the added expense, and/or because he knows that his child's preference will be known, and he feels his son is too young to know what he wants.

Also, my attorney has asked the court to require co-parenting counselling. Is my ex-husband able to refuse this? His girlfriend does not want us to be together in her absence.

 

[Harmony163]

Wait, is this the same child who is "mature beyond his years"? You can't have it both ways. The simple fact of the matter is that you should NOT be telling the child that it's up to him how much time he gets to spend with his father. You've done a poor job in that area.

Yes. I never told my son that it was up to him how much time he gets to spend with his father, I simply asked for his input. I told him that I love him no matter what, and that if he feels like he doesn't have enough time with him then I would support his decision and still love him. With the current schedule, he sometimes asks if he has to go to his father's and of course I tell him that he does. Whenever he returns to me he is so attention-deprived and it seems like my ex-husband's new girlfriend comes before his son. I would never put anyone in front of my son, and my own boyfriend knows that, but he actually accepting of the situation.

Awesome - dad encourages him to do nice things for you.

My son is very artistic and draws pictures by choice, both at mine and his father's residence, his father would not be allowed to encourage such a thing with his new girlfriend. My ex-husband's sister has reached out to me saying how much he has changed, and that and their family gatherings is girlfriend is very bossy with all of the children, and has spoken poorly of me. The latest drawing he brought to me had been photocopied, (by him or his girlfriend) so that his father could have one as well, although it wasn't originally intended for him. I thought that was strange.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am not understanding of all of the legal terminology, so my apologies, but I do know that we have joint custody. His motion to modify includes a request for shared primary residence. I am not sure if my case had ben docketed as closed, but I have had the same attorney throughout this process, from the time of our divorce.

Then he only needs a change in circumstances if you have JOINT custody -- not a significant change in circumstances. He has a change in circumstances. If there was order made then your case was closed at one time. Hence, complaints have to be personally served upon the party and not their "former" attorney.

 

[Harmony163]

Then he only needs a change in circumstances if you have JOINT custody -- not a significant change in circumstances. He has a change in circumstances. If there was order made then your case was closed at one time. Hence, complaints have to be personally served upon the party and not their "former" attorney.

Thank you for clarifying, it was quite startling for my child to have an officer unexpectedly appear at our house, knocking at the door relentlessly, I wish my lawyers could have communicated more effectively.