Mediator's report not accurate...help

[coroandobbmom]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? california

Just received Mediator's recommendation report, not in my favor. Currently have 50/50 legal & Physical....9 1/2 yrs. Teenagers 17 1/2 & 15, both boys. Recommendation: physical custody "father" (70/30), 50/50 legal. Reason given: Teenage boys seem to idenify with their father's better at this age. Both of my sons "out of the blue" have said to their Dad they now want to live with him. In addition, the Mediator (in the report) seem to have facts backwards regarding school/health. The boys were seen by Mediator almost 3 days after our Mediation hearing. Is this usual? The last time my boys were asked to come in 2yrs ago, it was the same day. Could the Mediator forgot some of the case, she didn't really bring up anything important that I brought up in the meeting....boys failing classes, forgery, driving illegally. Do I really have much of a chance to fight it? I do have a stack of documents proving the above. Thanks for any advice

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? california

Just received Mediator's recommendation report, not in my favor. Currently have 50/50 legal & Physical....9 1/2 yrs. Teenagers 17 1/2 & 15, both boys. Recommendation: physical custody "father" (70/30), 50/50 legal. Reason given: Teenage boys seem to idenify with their father's better at this age. Both of my sons "out of the blue" have said to their Dad they now want to live with him. In addition, the Mediator (in the report) seem to have facts backwards regarding school/health. The boys were seen by Mediator almost 3 days after our Mediation hearing. Is this usual? The last time my boys were asked to come in 2yrs ago, it was the same day. Could the Mediator forgot some of the case, she didn't really bring up anything important that I brought up in the meeting....boys failing classes, forgery, driving illegally. Do I really have much of a chance to fight it? I do have a stack of documents proving the above. Thanks for any advice

You can certainly challenge the mediator's recommendation in court, and likely should based on what you are saying here.

However, as far as your 17 1/2 year old is concerned, it may really be a moot point. The day he turns 18 he won't be subject to the court orders any longer and will be free to live wherever he likes.

 

[CourtClerk]

Is this a mediator or an evaluator? They are not one in the same and mediators VERY RARELY, if ever meet with the kids.

 

[coroandobbmom]

Thank you. I realize the situation with my 17 1/2 age and think its silly but I have three more school yrs with my younger son. I also didn't mention that I hired an attorney for back owed spousal support 10,000.00+ plus (which has not been resolved yet) and I got served two months later for full custody. I don't get how the Mediator didn't look at the big picture. Some say 90% of the time the Judge goes by the Mediator report, I am bummed she only asked the boys what they wanted instead of looking at "best interest" as well.

The hearing was called a "Mediation Conference", she said she was a Mediator but signed the papers "counselor"....I don't know the difference?

Thanks for any and all advice!

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? california

Just received Mediator's recommendation report, not in my favor. Currently have 50/50 legal & Physical....9 1/2 yrs. Teenagers 17 1/2 & 15, both boys. Recommendation: physical custody "father" (70/30), 50/50 legal. Reason given: Teenage boys seem to idenify with their father's better at this age. Both of my sons "out of the blue" have said to their Dad they now want to live with him. In addition, the Mediator (in the report) seem to have facts backwards regarding school/health. The boys were seen by Mediator almost 3 days after our Mediation hearing. Is this usual? The last time my boys were asked to come in 2yrs ago, it was the same day. Could the Mediator forgot some of the case, she didn't really bring up anything important that I brought up in the meeting....boys failing classes, forgery, driving illegally. Do I really have much of a chance to fight it? I do have a stack of documents proving the above. Thanks for any advice

How are the boys failing classes, engaging in forgery and driving illegally DAD'S fault?

 

[LdiJ]

How are the boys failing classes, engaging in forgery and driving illegally DAD'S fault?

Considering their current situation is 50/50, I think that the blame would have to be equally shared between both parents. Although, from mom's previous threads it appears that the bad stuff was mostly happening on dad's watch.

 

[Ohiogal]

Considering their current situation is 50/50, I think that the blame would have to be equally shared between both parents. Although, from mom's previous threads it appears that the bad stuff was mostly happening on dad's watch.

I think the blame would be equal as well. And I don't think the bad stuff was JUST on dad's watch. Failing classes would be on both. Forgery? How does mom know they were NOT forging things on her time? Oh they haven't gotten caught yet for that? illegally driving? Again -- caught for that?

 

[LdiJ]

I think the blame would be equal as well. And I don't think the bad stuff was JUST on dad's watch. Failing classes would be on both. Forgery? How does mom know they were NOT forging things on her time? Oh they haven't gotten caught yet for that? illegally driving? Again -- caught for that?

Apparently the forgery was forging the parent's signature so that the child didn't have to go to school. Its pretty easy to determine if that happened on mom or dad's watch, because the attendance records would bear that out.

Illegal driving...gotta have access to a car and car keys. I would certainly be able to tell if someone had driven my car while I was sleeping.

Anyway, that isn't an attempt to debate any issue here. Its simply an attempt to point out that mom may very well know and have evidence that its happening mostly on dad's watch. Its not "out there".

 

[Ohiogal]

Apparently the forgery was forging the parent's signature so that the child didn't have to go to school. Its pretty easy to determine if that happened on mom or dad's watch, because the attendance records would bear that out.

Illegal driving...gotta have access to a car and car keys. I would certainly be able to tell if someone had driven my car while I was sleeping.

Anyway, that isn't an attempt to debate any issue here. Its simply an attempt to point out that mom may very well know and have evidence that its happening mostly on dad's watch. Its not "out there".

Good points...

 

[coroandobbmom]

The cooments above stating that we are both responsible for our kids actions 50/50, I completely agree. But let me be clear, I am not trying to take any custody away from him, he is trying to get full custody away from me saying he is the better suited parent. That being said (my kids grades aside), the boys did only ditch on their Dad's days (and yes I have proof), my oldest son did only drive illegally on Dad's days (and I have proof). The bottom line is my "X" has his head in the sand and never checks up on the boys. He is trying to take joint custody away from me and he by far does not have the boys best interest first.

 

[birdbrain53]

What county are you in?

I definitely would get an attorney who is experienced in challenging the "mediator/counselor".

10K in arrears? That's a point I would bring up in court because it certainly appears that Dad just doesn't want to pay his C$.

 

[MichaCA]

Did the mediator outline what schedule he wants the 70/30 to look like? If you could have the proposed schedule (if you have it...please tell us)...based on that ask for specific changes.

Perhaps we live in the same area...don't know...just we are always told the 90% thing to about mediators recommendations. However...judges WILL listen to both sides. If there are truly errors in significant information about your kids the mediator got wrong...do mention that in court. And mostly, be prepared to state why you think going from 50/50 to 30/70 would be detrimental to the children.

 

[CJane]

What county are you in?

I definitely would get an attorney who is experienced in challenging the "mediator/counselor".

10K in arrears? That's a point I would bring up in court because it certainly appears that Dad just doesn't want to pay his C$.[/QUOTE]

Actually, it's the SPOUSAL SUPPORT he doesn't want to pay.

 

[LdiJ]

What county are you in?

I definitely would get an attorney who is experienced in challenging the "mediator/counselor".

10K in arrears? That's a point I would bring up in court because it certainly appears that Dad just doesn't want to pay his C$.[/QUOTE]

Actually, it's the SPOUSAL SUPPORT he doesn't want to pay.

Interesting...if he gets primary custody and mom has to pay child support, that might balance out his spousal support...could be a motive.

 

[CJane]

Mom, I think I said this in your last thread, but you REALLY need to do a cost/benefit analysis with this and determine how much you're willing to risk financially so you can maybe maintain status quo.

The fact is that the forgery, and the illegal driving, and the grades, and the lack of attention or discipline weren't big enough issues to you for you to attempt a modification... It's kind of hard to use them NOW to say Dad's time shouldn't increase when it's what the children (one of whom is nearly an adult) want.