mental health

[Krysta]

What is the name of your state? oregon
I am goign after custody of my child but i am wondering if they can subpoena my now husband medical record since he has depression and is under regular care for it .
That would be the only ammo my ex would have in court otherwise i have a 50/50 chance to get her because she want to leave with me (she is 11)and i am going to ask for a home study also.
She is scarred to go back because he shakes her little brother (3) and my counseler advised me that we should reported it to the children services but they will not take legal action at this time .
I am going to have my daughter put everything on paper so we have an hardcopy of what is going on in they house ,because step-mom also is very abusif verbally toward her but we all know how hard that is to prove .

 

[4LilMan]

Please do not make this little girl document anything that goes on with her father herself. If she tells you, then YOU document it. If your ex IS abusive, what do you think that he will do if he finds her documentation? Nothing good! You really shouldn't involve the child in any way, drill her, etc. If she chooses to tell you, that is fine, but do not make HER document. That is your job as the parent. And if you have documetation, dates, etc. it will be very helpful in court, but it needs to be done by you. Good luck.

 

[Krysta]

You misunderstood me ,she is with me right now ,she is the one whom provided me with the info .since I was not sure what to do with it ,i took her to a family counseler whom advise me to make the complaint then i went to see a lawyer and see what i could do to keep her here but because it is in another state ,at this time i can not do anything (but will as soon as i have the money to retain one in the state in question)yet the lawyer is the one who said to have my daughter right it down and sign it because it will be more powerfull in court .
Like she says i have never talk bad about her father yet he is always telling her bad thing regarding the divorce long time ago ,thing she should not be aware off since it was between me and her father and that make her very upset ,i can not talk to this man ,he is very controlling and manipulative ,he was with me and is now with my daughter and she is allowed to be a kid only when with me other wise it is like military over at dads.
I do not want my daughter to be like me when i divorced her father my selfesteem was nul and it took me a long time to build the courage to standup to him .she has been asking him to see if she could try to leave with me for 6 month but he will not even let her do that (i even offered to have no child support for that time )
everyone who knows him always said that he took her to get at me and still has of today has not forgiven me for the divorce .

 

[4LilMan]

Well, I am sorry about your daughter and I am sorry about your relationship with yuor ex. But if you are going to do this just make sure that he never finds this book. I don't know. I stick to what I said before but that is my opinion and this is your daughter so you do what you want to and please do not be offended by what I said the first time. That is all of the advice that I have to offer so good luck with your daughter. I hope everything works out for you guys. Best wishes.

 

[Krysta]

no I am going to keep all the documentation here with me ,I would not put my daughter in that situation that he would come upon it even by accident ,i could just imagine the repercution of this to her since even if he overhears her taking bad about her step-mom instead of talking to her and see what they can do as a family to try to fixe it ,he instead just ground her .he is a very hard man to talk to even for her.
so for her safety i will have all the documentation here and also can ask my counseler for the transcript of our meeting if needed after all she is a professional and she was very worried about my kid and what kind of life she was leaving .she said my daughter was exposed of secondary abuse by seeing her father mistreat her brother so i have her blessing if needed .
But thank you for the advice any is welcome ,i am trying to cover all the angle and make sure i have my "ducks in a row "for anything that might come up in court .
Another question can i ask for his work file ,he was a public servant and got suspended several times and maybe that might help me show what kind of man he is really since no one ever dare report him to the authorities before , i am the first and i tell you what it is very scarry,i am still waiting for the come back from him (because he will ).
and can he ask for my now husband medical records ?