What is the name of your state? WV
Myself and my family are from FL. I am married to a man in WV/live here and we have 3 small children. He here is very emotionally abusive to me and currently is and has cheated on me and is into pornography. He is extremely loving however to our children and just does not want to back to FL to live. I cry every day here. I miss my family terribly!! I am to the point that I dont love this man anymore and have lost all respect for him. He does not provide for his family (job hopper and been this way for years). He complains about every job he has and excuses himself to quit them. I on the other hand, have been the stable one-the actual breadwinner. Because he is at home most of the time (because he wont just take any job and many days he dont even try to find one), he is called in WV, the "custodial parent". I was told that this means that he would get at least 50% of the time with them for visitation following a divorce because this state would look at him no different than a housewife who dont work-as the "custodial parent." The attorney here actually said that "his laziness has paid off for him" (months of not working taking care of the children-he said the judge will not look at the reasons "why" he dont work and I do, but that he is home with them and I work) This means that I have to forfeit my children to only having them summers most likely, if I went back home. Because I already know how they (WV judges) will look at this, I am not provoking him any way (because he wants out too) to leave me. I keep praying that he will eventually give up trying to find work here (he says there aint no work here-so I let him believe that-it's just that he dont want to work) and say "well need to go back to FL". I am trying to buy time as much as I can. If I divorce here, I am stuck here (if I want just as much time as he does with the kids-and I do want them too!) Is there anything I can do to sway things back my way? It is like there is a test of who is going to give in first. I dont want to give in first if I already know how it is here and I dont want to provoke him into making that move neither! (either way I lose). I am buying time hoping that one day he would just agree that we go back.
Myself and my family are from FL. I am married to a man in WV/live here and we have 3 small children. He here is very emotionally abusive to me and currently is and has cheated on me and is into pornography. He is extremely loving however to our children and just does not want to back to FL to live. I cry every day here. I miss my family terribly!! I am to the point that I dont love this man anymore and have lost all respect for him. He does not provide for his family (job hopper and been this way for years). He complains about every job he has and excuses himself to quit them. I on the other hand, have been the stable one-the actual breadwinner. Because he is at home most of the time (because he wont just take any job and many days he dont even try to find one), he is called in WV, the "custodial parent". I was told that this means that he would get at least 50% of the time with them for visitation following a divorce because this state would look at him no different than a housewife who dont work-as the "custodial parent." The attorney here actually said that "his laziness has paid off for him" (months of not working taking care of the children-he said the judge will not look at the reasons "why" he dont work and I do, but that he is home with them and I work) This means that I have to forfeit my children to only having them summers most likely, if I went back home. Because I already know how they (WV judges) will look at this, I am not provoking him any way (because he wants out too) to leave me. I keep praying that he will eventually give up trying to find work here (he says there aint no work here-so I let him believe that-it's just that he dont want to work) and say "well need to go back to FL". I am trying to buy time as much as I can. If I divorce here, I am stuck here (if I want just as much time as he does with the kids-and I do want them too!) Is there anything I can do to sway things back my way? It is like there is a test of who is going to give in first. I dont want to give in first if I already know how it is here and I dont want to provoke him into making that move neither! (either way I lose). I am buying time hoping that one day he would just agree that we go back.
