username510
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama
I know this is a messy situation and may take a while in court. I am the newly found father's fiance asking for the information on his part. He has hired an attorney but she is being vague at this point as well until she can get all of the facts together and do a bit more research on the case itself.
I am trying to get a gauge on the possibility of recieving joint physical and legal custody of a child who is almost 2 years of age.
The mother did not inform the the father that the child was even possibly his until about a month ago, the child being 20 months old.
They dated years back, and had a one night fling when the child was concieved. They have known each other for years, as the mother was a close friend with his sister in high school. Both of the parents were beleived to be single at the time of conception (the father was, and the mother claims to be, not sure if she was already dating the man that was beleived to be the father or not), but the mother says that shortly after that she started dating the original alleged father. The father was aware that she had gotten married and had another child, but did not know the timeline or anything about the child's age or name until she recently contacted him.
The mother is currently going through a divorce, with the man who she told was the child's father and married upon finding out she was pregnant. (I do understand that there are proceedures that must take place to disestablish his paternity before any cusotdy hearings between the two parents.)
So assuming all goes well, and the ex husband willingly relinquishes his rights, what are the father's chances of joint physical custody?
The father has a steady job, has worked in the computer programming feild for ten years, a stable home with plenty of room for another child (the child would have his own bedroom), he is unmarried living with a fiance and her 4 year old daughter in his home, he has no other children, is willing to cooperate with the mother with all reasonable considerations, has no dependency issues, the only criminal record is a paraphanialia charge from about 12 years ago (marijuana), is 31 years old, never been married, has lived with and played an active role in raising his nephews for most of their lives, has similar religious beliefs as the mother, and has every desire to have a big impact on his son's life.
The mother graduated college in 2008/2007, has yet to hold a job using her college degree, does not have a stable work history because of college, currently has no job and hasn't had one since late last spring, is going through her second divorce, has one other child from a previous marriage, is currently living in her parents home with her two sons (there is plenty of room for the three of them in the home, having two rooms between the three of them), with in the last 3 to 4 months received a DUI but it may have been cleared from her record (so she says, not really sure), has a history of many different partners, currently has sole physical and legal custody of her older son but plans to have it switched to joint legal custody in the next year, currently wants to agree to joint legal custody and one commited home for the child (has been very vague as to whether she wants the commited home to be hers or his, but would assume she is meaning hers), ex husband counter claimed for sole custody of the child VERY shortly before she informed the biological father of the chances (unsure as to on what grounds) and is currently allowing 5 day visitations with the ex husband, and she seems to provide a loving environment for the child.
She claims when she found out she was pregnant she assumed it was her partner at the time, getting married to him. Then when the child was born everyone said he looked just like him, so she didn't give it a second thought. But, as he got older he began to look more and more like the father, and that is why she called him when she did.
However, she has been split from her ex for over 8 months, has talked to the biological father at least twice within that time and never mentioned it until a month ago, the child has the newly found father's first name as his middle name, and she has told the father's fiance that she realized there was a possibility when she went to the first doctor's visit and found out she was 12 weeks pregnant rather than the 1 month she thought she was.
The counter claim for sole custody was filed on October 27th, she contacted the newly found father on November 2nd, and appeared in court on the counter claim on Novemeber 3rd. She met with the then alleged father, at that time, on November 6th to take a CVS paternity test, sent it off and it came back that he is the father. He was aware at the time that the test was not admissable in court, but wanted to find out one way or the other before persuing it any farther, and he thought the mother may have been coming to him with alternate motives... which appears she may have been anyway.
The petition for a paternity hearing has been set in motion and a date is set, for her ex-husband. She is currently still allowing the child to go to the ex's home every other week for at least 5 days at a time, and letting the biological father see the child periodically during her time with the child. She already has the child calling the newly found father Daddy, and I am assuming he would still be calling the ex Daddy, as well.
The mother is sending him text messages trying to get him to agree to one thing or another, now. He is not really sure how to gauge most of the things that she asking for as she is being vague and has a history instability herself, is currently on medicine for stress and depression and has a history of prescription drug abuse and heavy alcohol consumption but has never been treated for addiction and we think it would be hard to prove this other than her DUI. Plus, she claims to have "changed" becoming a member of a church.
He does not want to "take the child from his mother" as he feels that would not be morally correct, considering she has given him no reason, of recent, to believe that she is not capable of caring for the child, and he is not trying to get out of child support. He has already stated that he is willing to pay child support under joint physical agreement if the court sees fit, he simply want to be able to have signigcant parenting role in the child's life, and she seems to be in agreement on his ability to do so. He is thinking that she is currently wanting the child to live in home with every other weekend visitations for him, as that is what she does with her older son, and he wants to have him in his custody more than four or fives days a month.
I am not sure that you necessarily need all of this information, but I tried to give as much background on the situation as possible.
Again, my question is, what are the father's chances of recieving joint physical and legal custody? Would his chances be better if he went for sole physical and joint legal? At best, if agreed into joint legal custody with, I'm assuming sole physical custody on the mother's part, what would his visitations be? Will the judge look down or take into consideration that she kept knowledge of the son from the father for almost two years? What facts will have the most bearings on the judges decision?
One more question, and this is more my concern than his. Will the two of us living together unmarried, but engaged, have any impact on the judges decision. We have been together for two years and living together for about a 1 year and 6 months. He has never been engaged to anyone else, not sure if that has any impact. I am the one of only two women who he has ever lived with at the age of 31, so he doesn't have an unstable history of relationships.
Thank you for you time and any information would be helpful.
I know this is a messy situation and may take a while in court. I am the newly found father's fiance asking for the information on his part. He has hired an attorney but she is being vague at this point as well until she can get all of the facts together and do a bit more research on the case itself.
I am trying to get a gauge on the possibility of recieving joint physical and legal custody of a child who is almost 2 years of age.
The mother did not inform the the father that the child was even possibly his until about a month ago, the child being 20 months old.
They dated years back, and had a one night fling when the child was concieved. They have known each other for years, as the mother was a close friend with his sister in high school. Both of the parents were beleived to be single at the time of conception (the father was, and the mother claims to be, not sure if she was already dating the man that was beleived to be the father or not), but the mother says that shortly after that she started dating the original alleged father. The father was aware that she had gotten married and had another child, but did not know the timeline or anything about the child's age or name until she recently contacted him.
The mother is currently going through a divorce, with the man who she told was the child's father and married upon finding out she was pregnant. (I do understand that there are proceedures that must take place to disestablish his paternity before any cusotdy hearings between the two parents.)
So assuming all goes well, and the ex husband willingly relinquishes his rights, what are the father's chances of joint physical custody?
The father has a steady job, has worked in the computer programming feild for ten years, a stable home with plenty of room for another child (the child would have his own bedroom), he is unmarried living with a fiance and her 4 year old daughter in his home, he has no other children, is willing to cooperate with the mother with all reasonable considerations, has no dependency issues, the only criminal record is a paraphanialia charge from about 12 years ago (marijuana), is 31 years old, never been married, has lived with and played an active role in raising his nephews for most of their lives, has similar religious beliefs as the mother, and has every desire to have a big impact on his son's life.
The mother graduated college in 2008/2007, has yet to hold a job using her college degree, does not have a stable work history because of college, currently has no job and hasn't had one since late last spring, is going through her second divorce, has one other child from a previous marriage, is currently living in her parents home with her two sons (there is plenty of room for the three of them in the home, having two rooms between the three of them), with in the last 3 to 4 months received a DUI but it may have been cleared from her record (so she says, not really sure), has a history of many different partners, currently has sole physical and legal custody of her older son but plans to have it switched to joint legal custody in the next year, currently wants to agree to joint legal custody and one commited home for the child (has been very vague as to whether she wants the commited home to be hers or his, but would assume she is meaning hers), ex husband counter claimed for sole custody of the child VERY shortly before she informed the biological father of the chances (unsure as to on what grounds) and is currently allowing 5 day visitations with the ex husband, and she seems to provide a loving environment for the child.
She claims when she found out she was pregnant she assumed it was her partner at the time, getting married to him. Then when the child was born everyone said he looked just like him, so she didn't give it a second thought. But, as he got older he began to look more and more like the father, and that is why she called him when she did.
However, she has been split from her ex for over 8 months, has talked to the biological father at least twice within that time and never mentioned it until a month ago, the child has the newly found father's first name as his middle name, and she has told the father's fiance that she realized there was a possibility when she went to the first doctor's visit and found out she was 12 weeks pregnant rather than the 1 month she thought she was.
The counter claim for sole custody was filed on October 27th, she contacted the newly found father on November 2nd, and appeared in court on the counter claim on Novemeber 3rd. She met with the then alleged father, at that time, on November 6th to take a CVS paternity test, sent it off and it came back that he is the father. He was aware at the time that the test was not admissable in court, but wanted to find out one way or the other before persuing it any farther, and he thought the mother may have been coming to him with alternate motives... which appears she may have been anyway.
The petition for a paternity hearing has been set in motion and a date is set, for her ex-husband. She is currently still allowing the child to go to the ex's home every other week for at least 5 days at a time, and letting the biological father see the child periodically during her time with the child. She already has the child calling the newly found father Daddy, and I am assuming he would still be calling the ex Daddy, as well.
The mother is sending him text messages trying to get him to agree to one thing or another, now. He is not really sure how to gauge most of the things that she asking for as she is being vague and has a history instability herself, is currently on medicine for stress and depression and has a history of prescription drug abuse and heavy alcohol consumption but has never been treated for addiction and we think it would be hard to prove this other than her DUI. Plus, she claims to have "changed" becoming a member of a church.
He does not want to "take the child from his mother" as he feels that would not be morally correct, considering she has given him no reason, of recent, to believe that she is not capable of caring for the child, and he is not trying to get out of child support. He has already stated that he is willing to pay child support under joint physical agreement if the court sees fit, he simply want to be able to have signigcant parenting role in the child's life, and she seems to be in agreement on his ability to do so. He is thinking that she is currently wanting the child to live in home with every other weekend visitations for him, as that is what she does with her older son, and he wants to have him in his custody more than four or fives days a month.
I am not sure that you necessarily need all of this information, but I tried to give as much background on the situation as possible.
Again, my question is, what are the father's chances of recieving joint physical and legal custody? Would his chances be better if he went for sole physical and joint legal? At best, if agreed into joint legal custody with, I'm assuming sole physical custody on the mother's part, what would his visitations be? Will the judge look down or take into consideration that she kept knowledge of the son from the father for almost two years? What facts will have the most bearings on the judges decision?
One more question, and this is more my concern than his. Will the two of us living together unmarried, but engaged, have any impact on the judges decision. We have been together for two years and living together for about a 1 year and 6 months. He has never been engaged to anyone else, not sure if that has any impact. I am the one of only two women who he has ever lived with at the age of 31, so he doesn't have an unstable history of relationships.
Thank you for you time and any information would be helpful.
