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Is racism grounds for change of custody

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Gum_Drop

Member
What is the name of your state? LA

I am asking for a friend, who is sitting here with me.

Her and her husband divorced 8 years ago, both moved on with their lives, and have a great co parenting realtionshionship. Father has court ordered visitation (Standard NCP), but it has never been an issue, he sees he kids when and how often he wants to a lot of the times every weekend, they live in same school district, so there is and has been weekday overnights as well. Her children boy 14 and girl 12 came home today with disturbing news.

The father has new friends, whom are rascist, and have over the period of time "changed" the fathers views. The father has joined a club of white supremists, and took his children to a function as such, where the children had to sit and listen to the "leader" spew a lot of hateful and disturbing things.

She spoke with her husband saying that what he did was his busiess but he has no right to teach his young children this garbage. To which he replied that his children needed to learn how to support their white heritage, and denounce all blacks, jews, and any other foregieners. ( I am using nice words as he did not) He also told his children that they are no longer allowed to socialize and be friendly with what thinks is undesirablews. He told his daughter that he would beat her with in an inch of her life if she ever brought home a black boy.

Does this mother have any recourse? She knows what the father does with the children on his time is "none of her business" But feels that this shouldnt be allowed, to brainwsh her children into an undeserved hatred?

She doesnt have the money for a lawyer, but will sell her car if the experienced lawyers here think she has a shot at having something done.
 


Zephyr

Senior Member
I think, unless he is subjecting them to illegal acts, then he would win, parents have a right to teach children their values...even if they are undesirable to most people, mom will just have to work extra hard to instill her own values in the kids
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
Hy suggestion is to take your friend to the library. Ask the Librarian where you can find a copy of the U.S. Constitution and when you find it, lay it flat on the table and read from start to finish.

Then you'll know the answer.
 

seniorjudge

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
Hy suggestion is to take your friend to the library. Ask the Librarian where you can find a copy of the U.S. Constitution and when you find it, lay it flat on the table and read from start to finish.

Then you'll know the answer.
I agree. We all have the God-given right to be idiots.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
I have only met one person in my life who had not one prejudice bone in his body...and that was during a session with about 1 gram of peyote and a very large Indian on the shores of Lake Powell.
 

casa

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
I have only met one person in my life who had not one prejudice bone in his body...and that was during a session with about 1 gram of peyote and a very large Indian on the shores of Lake Powell.
While it's true that most people have some form of prejudices'...that is not in the same vein as teaching your children to actively hate portions of society. :cool:
 

Gum_Drop

Member
Ok since she cant do anything legally, she will restrict the time to what is court ordered EOW and Holidays.

Can dad take her back to court? Since up until now he has had more liberal visitation?

Also, I know that kids are not allowed to say they dont want to go for the court appointed..

But since the children are the ones that brought this to her and said that they were uncomfortable with it, can they refuse to go when it is not his weekend, and during the week?

Also, Since they havent followed a his/her weekend how can should go about setting up those perimeters. I told her since this last weekend was a holiday, let him take them next weekend and start counting from there... But wanted to ask if that would be right?
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
elsieshup said:
Ok since she cant do anything legally, she will restrict the time to what is court ordered EOW and Holidays.

Can dad take her back to court? Since up until now he has had more liberal visitation?
yes
Also, I know that kids are not allowed to say they dont want to go for the court appointed..

But since the children are the ones that brought this to her and said that they were uncomfortable with it, can they refuse to go when it is not his weekend, and during the week?
Irrelevant since it's not his visitation they can do what they want.
Also, Since they havent followed a his/her weekend how can should go about setting up those perimeters. I told her since this last weekend was a holiday, let him take them next weekend and start counting from there... But wanted to ask if that would be right?
you count from the inception of the order. Unless she wants to go back to court and let the court decide.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
casa said:
While it's true that most people have some form of prejudices'...that is not in the same vein as teaching your children to actively hate portions of society. :cool:
I guess you've never watch the evening news, read the newspaper, ever heard Jerry Falwell preach....

Just a few examples of being taught to hate each and every day.

It's all around us if we live in the real world.
 

casa

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
I guess you've never watch the evening news, read the newspaper, ever heard Jerry Falwell preach....

Just a few examples of being taught to hate each and every day.

It's all around us if we live in the real world.
Awareness of it...and active participation in it are not the same thing BB. By being aware, we can teach our children how to be compassionate humans- Engaging in teaching hate is a completely different issue. I think that some racism (especially indoctrinating children) is viewed negatively in the courts. I can't speak to where this OP lives, but it would get a serious look in CA courts.
 

Gum_Drop

Member
casa said:
Awareness of it...and active participation in it are not the same thing BB. By being aware, we can teach our children how to be compassionate humans- Engaging in teaching hate is a completely different issue. I think that some racism (especially indoctrinating children) is viewed negatively in the courts. I can't speak to where this OP lives, but it would get a serious look in CA courts.

If dad takes her back to court, becuase she is going to limit him to what he was court awarded, she plans to cite the racism as the reason.

And in the meantime all she can do is hope that what she has taught them, and will continue to counter teach their father that they will refrain from hate.


Thank you all.
 

CJane

Senior Member
Well, wouldn't dad have to prove a significant and continuing change in circumstances? I wouldn't think reverting to the court order would be considered a change in circumstances.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
CJane said:
Well, wouldn't dad have to prove a significant and continuing change in circumstances? I wouldn't think reverting to the court order would be considered a change in circumstances.
I'm under the impression that, since OP has allowed Dad to have the kid/s for much more than the standard set in the CO, he would (easily, IMO) be able to show the court that he should have more parenting time on paper as well as IRL.

I'm not at all sure about the racist-thing and court. :confused: Wouldn't she have to prove it, and how would she actually prove he was teaching the kids to be racist, and is that actually against the law? :eek:
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
elsieshup said:
If dad takes her back to court, becuase she is going to limit him to what he was court awarded, she plans to cite the racism as the reason.
And it will still be irrelevant.
And in the meantime all she can do is hope that what she has taught them, and will continue to counter teach their father that they will refrain from hate.
Thank you all.
and that's the only answer
 

weenor

Senior Member
Silverplum said:
I'm under the impression that, since OP has allowed Dad to have the kid/s for much more than the standard set in the CO, he would (easily, IMO) be able to show the court that he should have more parenting time on paper as well as IRL.

I'm not at all sure about the racist-thing and court. :confused: Wouldn't she have to prove it, and how would she actually prove he was teaching the kids to be racist, and is that actually against the law? :eek:

Yeah, if the liberal extra visitation has taken place for entire eight years, then Dad may have a decent argument that strictly construing the court order now is a material change in circumstance... On other hand (especially if the extra visitation is fairly recent), OP should go back to the court order before attempting to assert in Court that the father's influence is deterimental to the children because if she doesn't the judge will asssume that she didn't have a problem with the way Dad was spending time with the kids when she let him have the extra time.
 
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