Step parent rights for child who wants to live with me.

[Moonboots]

I am a Step mum to an 9 year old US citizen who lives in Florida with his bio dad. I live in Australia with his two siblings. My stepson wants to live in Australia with me. I have been his primary carer since he was 2.5. Do I have any rights or is there anything I can do? Or what age is he allowed to choose where he lives. The kid is miserable as his father is always at work.

 

[Just Blue]

I am a Step mum to an 9 year old US citizen who lives in Florida with his bio dad. I live in Australia with his two siblings. My stepson wants to live in Australia with me. I have been his primary carer since he was 2.5. Do I have any rights or is there anything I can do? Or what age is he allowed to choose where he lives. The kid is miserable as his father is always at work.

Are you still married to the dad?

 

[Ohiogal]

Prove both mom and dad legally unfit and that the child should be sent to Australia

 

[Moonboots]

Are you still married to the dad?

I am still married to his Dad. He left my 3 year old and myself 5 months pregnant this time Last year. He took my 8 year old stepson with him. Now he works lots of hours hardly sees my stepson and has his current gf looking after my stepson thru the school week. Stbx husband is 2 hrs away stayin with his aunty to cut down the travel time.
The stepson is scared of his dad and days he isn't allowed to cry or say he wants to live with us in Australia. The birth mum has only had him for 2 months of his life when he was 12 months old.

 

[Just Blue]

I am still married to his Dad. He left my 3 year old and myself 5 months pregnant this time Last year. He took my 8 year old stepson with him. Now he works lots of hours hardly sees my stepson and has his current gf looking after my stepson thru the school week. Stbx husband is 2 hrs away stayin with his aunty to cut down the travel time.
The stepson is scared of his dad and days he isn't allowed to cry or say he wants to live with us in Australia. The birth mum has only had him for 2 months of his life when he was 12 months old.

You have no standing to gain custody...But if you move to the city SS lives in your children may have a chance of knowing their brother. BTW...Did STBX leave Aussie or did you leave the States?

 

[LdiJ]

I am still married to his Dad. He left my 3 year old and myself 5 months pregnant this time Last year. He took my 8 year old stepson with him. Now he works lots of hours hardly sees my stepson and has his current gf looking after my stepson thru the school week. Stbx husband is 2 hrs away stayin with his aunty to cut down the travel time.
The stepson is scared of his dad and days he isn't allowed to cry or say he wants to live with us in Australia. The birth mum has only had him for 2 months of his life when he was 12 months old.

I am sorry, but there is absolutely no way that a US judge would ever entertain the idea of giving you custody of the child. You are only the child's soon to be ex stepmother and you live on the other side of the world. Its just not going to happen.

I don't know how you managed being able to take your own children to Australia if they are also dad's children and were born and lived in the US. You are not doing this child any favors by letting him think that he can live anywhere but with his father or where his father says that he is going to live.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I am still married to his Dad. He left my 3 year old and myself 5 months pregnant this time Last year. He took my 8 year old stepson with him. Now he works lots of hours hardly sees my stepson and has his current gf looking after my stepson thru the school week. Stbx husband is 2 hrs away stayin with his aunty to cut down the travel time.
The stepson is scared of his dad and days he isn't allowed to cry or say he wants to live with us in Australia. The birth mum has only had him for 2 months of his life when he was 12 months old.

How do you know this?

If Dad's being that controlling, how are these messages getting to you?

 

[Moonboots]

I am sorry, but there is absolutely no way that a US judge would ever entertain the idea of giving you custody of the child. You are only the child's soon to be ex stepmother and you live on the other side of the world. Its just not going to happen.

I don't know how you managed being able to take your own children to Australia if they are also dad's children and were born and lived in the US. You are not doing this child any favors by letting him think that he can live anywhere but with his father or where his father says that he is going to live.

We all lived in Australia from 2012 till 2017. I have two Australia born kids. We were granted shared custody from birth mother and relocation to Australia at the end of 2012.
I have never said he can live in Australia. I only saud he would have to talk about it with his father. But have not spoken to him since easter last year.

 

[Moonboots]

How do you know this?

If Dad's being that controlling, how are these messages getting to you?

Stbx family messaged me that the kid is so sad and has said he never had a choice And when he turns 18 he will move back to his family in Oz. That his sister doesn't even know he is alive.

 

[Moonboots]

How do you know this?

If Dad's being that controlling, how are these messages getting to you?

Plus...He was terrified of him before he left. He wouldn't be game enough to ask him a question and pretend he did. And he only confides in his Nana who he gets to see every second weekend. Depending if Dad allows it.

 

[t74]

If you believe he is in danger, contact the social service agency in his city.

The grandparent should consult an attorney if she is interested in assuming responsibility for his care since the father is absent most of the time.

 

[Zigner]

We were granted shared custody from birth mother and relocation to Australia at the end of 2012.

I seriously doubt that. First, YOU don't have custody of the child. Second, the MOTHER doesn't "grant" custody.

 

[Moonboots]

I seriously doubt that. First, YOU don't have custody of the child. Second, the MOTHER doesn't "grant" custody.

Ok angry person. The birth mother never showed up to the court hearing for custody relocation. The birth mother only cared for him for 2 months...of his entire life. Then she left him and moved in with the new guy...She has since had a kid with...And 9 other new bfs. We offered to fly her to Oz once a year and bring him to the US once a year. She never came.
After I have been his primary carer since he was 2.5 and the judge read the story. We... my stbx husband was granted relocation and shared custody 100percent care. I say we.. Because I did all the papers and dealt with the lawyer.
She was court ordered to signed his passport but really should have signed adoption papers.

 

[LdiJ]

Ok angry person. The birth mother never showed up to the court hearing for custody relocation. The birth mother only cared for him for 2 months...of his entire life. Then she left him and moved in with the new guy...She has since had a kid with...And 9 other new bfs. We offered to fly her to Oz once a year and bring him to the US once a year. She never came.
After I have been his primary carer since he was 2.5 and the judge read the story. We... my stbx husband was granted relocation and shared custody 100percent care. I say we.. Because I did all the papers and dealt with the lawyer.
She was court ordered to signed his passport but really should have signed adoption papers.

Nevertheless, you did not adopt the child and you are not going to get custody of the child. It is simply not going to happen.

 

[Zigner]

Ok angry person. The birth mother never showed up to the court hearing for custody relocation. The birth mother only cared for him for 2 months...of his entire life. Then she left him and moved in with the new guy...She has since had a kid with...And 9 other new bfs. We offered to fly her to Oz once a year and bring him to the US once a year. She never came.
After I have been his primary carer since he was 2.5 and the judge read the story. We... my stbx husband was granted relocation and shared custody 100percent care. I say we.. Because I did all the papers and dealt with the lawyer.
She was court ordered to signed his passport but really should have signed adoption papers.

Right - YOU don't have any sort of custody of the child what-so-ever.