Strange case..

[MinaRavenstar]

What is the name of your state? Delaware

I have a problem. My husband's mother has custody of our eldest daughter (now almost 2) and we've not seen her for over a year. We (my hubby and I) want to try and start up a visitation schedule, but his mom's phone is disconnected. The last we heard of her, she was in church and my daughter Quinn was filthy from head to toe. What can I do to try and get a hold of her? She lives 70 miles upstate and the only court paper that says anything about visitation says that I can't go to her home. HELP!

 

[stealth2]

It would help to know how and why this situation came about, and what's different now. How is it that you don't have specified visitation and are barred from her home? All of that could be pertinent and might change the feedback you get.

 

[MinaRavenstar]

I lost my daughter to "unsuitable living conditions". My hubby and I were kicked out of his grandmother's home and we came upon a camper that his uncle had. During the time we were kicked out, Shannon's mom, Tina, was taking care of my daughter, "babysitting" if you will. I wanted my daughter back, so after we got things halfway decent in the camper (emphasis on halfway.. space heater and no running water, I'm afraid..) I asked for her. We had clean spring water for her bottles, and since she was only 5 months at the time, the space heater was not an issue. Or so I thought. His mother called CPS and the child was taken. She conveniently showed up as soon as the workers got there, so Quinn was placed with her.
Later on, an issue came up about fears I had written in a diary (that Tina had stolen from me) about sexual abuse. Those issues are resolved from prior counseling. Also, my religion (Wicca) is a big thing with Tina, alleging that I will ritually harm the child.
CPS has found nothing wrong with my younger daughter Sarah, yet the courts have not gotten on the ball. (and yes, mediation failed) I hope that's enough... any other questions??

 

[MinaRavenstar]

By the way, since we were homeless immediately after the incident (the camper was on illegal property..) we could not be served our court papers for the hearing, and therefore missed it. Ultimately we missed our chance to get a fair visitation order, and any court proceedings after that have been too brief to ask questions.

Also, do you think it's fair that both of us (her biological parents) have to pay a total of $322 a month for Quinn? I don't work, but the court insists that i can make over $1000 sitting on my butt at home.

 

[huskerfan41]

ok, now that i know what Wicca is...

What you need to do is file a Motion with the court to establish a parenting plan.

unfortunately -- because the court's found it necessary to remove your baby from the home -- chances are they are not going to be to lenient on establishing this parenting plan.

i could be wrong -- but heck, it won't be the first time.

You had better get an attorney for this one -- because you are going to need it -- and btw -- i am respectfully advising you that the courts are not to keen on your lifestyle choices.

sorry.

 

[julie4796]

i am respectfully advising you that the courts are not to keen on your lifestyle choices.


what do you mean by that?? and what is Wicca??

Edited to add: forget it.. I looked it up...

 

[stealth2]

I lost my daughter to "unsuitable living conditions". My hubby and I were kicked out of his grandmother's home and we came upon a camper that his uncle had. During the time we were kicked out, Shannon's mom, Tina, was taking care of my daughter, "babysitting" if you will. I wanted my daughter back, so after we got things halfway decent in the camper (emphasis on halfway.. space heater and no running water, I'm afraid..) I asked for her. We had clean spring water for her bottles, and since she was only 5 months at the time, the space heater was not an issue. Or so I thought. His mother called CPS and the child was taken. She conveniently showed up as soon as the workers got there, so Quinn was placed with her.
Later on, an issue came up about fears I had written in a diary (that Tina had stolen from me) about sexual abuse. Those issues are resolved from prior counseling. Also, my religion (Wicca) is a big thing with Tina, alleging that I will ritually harm the child.
CPS has found nothing wrong with my younger daughter Sarah, yet the courts have not gotten on the ball. (and yes, mediation failed) I hope that's enough... any other questions??

yeah, I have more questions.... who the heck is Shannon, who is Tina? I get that Quinn is the child. The oldest child? Okay. What fears about sexualk abuse? To you? By you?

Please - it would help if you tried to remember that none of us know you or your story. brief, but clear, would help.

 

[MinaRavenstar]

What's Wicca? I can't explain it too well, so I'll let professionals do it for ya. www.witchvox.com

Anyhow, thanks for the posts.. I'm going to try to get a lawyer. What would be better? A free lawyer provided by legal aid? or one that I have to pay out the @$$ for?? Who would give me better representation in hte courts?

 

[MinaRavenstar]

Mama, sorry about that.

Tina is my husband's mother, who has custody of the child.
Shannon is my husband. We got married after this incident, but he's the bio-father of the child.

I hope this clears things up. I'm sorry to get so tangled in everything, it's just really emotional for me. I'm 22, so I guess you can take that into account for my naivete about anything court related.

By the way, the fears were about my prior abuse and me possibly becoming an abuser as a result. I've realized since then that there's no way I would ever harm a child, especially my own!!

 

[CMSC]

Anyone who is going to try and use you being into Wicca as an excuse for child abuse accusations is full of sh**! I know one personally and she would never harm her child, tell the woman to "f" off.

 

[lcowan]

religion

I think that her being wiccan is NOT and canNOT affect the courts decision . There are several members of my family that dont approve of my not being any certain denomination . I thought that a judge had to make his decisions , NOT on the basis of religion , sex , age , or nationality. However, I can see where a judge would keep a parent away from a child for proof that she/he has used that child in a ritual or that the religion has caused that child some sort of harm . Also , I think that judges are well aware of the affects of sexual abuse in adult victims . I know from what little I have read and heard, that it isnt at all uncommon for an adult victim to have worries or concerns about being a parent or even a decent humanbeing . Now that I have said all this that may or may not be right , I have a question .......... Did CPS try to help in anyway to get you a decent place to live or offer counceling ?

 

[MinaRavenstar]

Lisa - No... CPS did not help us with getting a place, nor did they help with any counseling. I don't think it helped that the worker that opened the case closed it before the 6-month monitoring period was over (case opened 10/11/01 - closed 12/31/01) and left CPS without notifying us. We got a place at the end of April 2002 and have been living here ever since.

If there's any way you could help with any of the questions I have, I would be grateful.

CPS has since visited my house for an alleged "incorrect dosing of medication" on my youngest daughter Sarah. They found nothing wrong with my house, my religion, or any other things that Quinn was taken away for. I don't understand why the courts have not done anything. I've even taken a parenting class for Separating/Divorcing parents to help the transition from her house to mine so I can understand why Quinn might be angry. I've fulfilled all the requirements the court has set forth.

I've not been able to visit Quinn because I have a purely functional car (i.e., it gets the hubby back and forth to work and that's about it) and she lives 70 miles away. I can't call now, and a meeting place was ridiculous, simply because Tina did not want to drive anywhere outside her town to help the process. Add to that the stipulation of supervised visitation and I've got a huge problem. I really, really need a lawyer.

 

[lcowan]

Questions.....

Did you recieve any papers from the courts when they placed the child with the grandmother ? I would be glad to try to help you find information .......just give me an email addy so we dont clog up the boards here . I think that you should consider a free lawyer if you cant afford to pay for one . Even if you just get the supervised visitation back its better then nothing . Just let me know if you want me to help you look .

 

[MinaRavenstar]

I've got yahoo messenger, AOL messenger on my profile. My e-mail is [email protected]. help... please.......

 

[Whyte Noise]

"Anyone who is going to try and use you being into Wicca as an excuse for child abuse accusations is full of sh**! I know one personally and she would never harm her child, tell the woman to "f" off."

ryry's......

I knew when I saw the name Ravenstar...