Visits with father?

[AnnieMal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota

 

[AnnieMal]

My son is 4. His father has has sporadic visits with him throughout his life. This has all been dependant on his sobriety. He has a long history of meth and alcohol abuse and is currently on felony probation for 2 different convictions. He has custody of another child (the mother disappeared). Last year, my son's father took me to court (when he had a period of sobriety) and the court granted him 50-50 legal and physical custody with every other weekend visitation. Last November, he got busted using meth and his other child was removed from his home. I stopped visits and eventually he just kept violating his probation and the court is allowing him to participate in family drug court. He wants his visits back but just admitted using to me last month. (He is getting ready to serve two weekends in jail for this). Now he threatening to take me to court if I dont let him resume visits with our son. I have serious concerns about the safety of my son during these visits. What should I do?

 

[AnnieMal]

Also, I should mention this is his second chips case with his other son where he was removed from his home. And in our custody agreement, it states that I have the right to cancel a visit if I believe his father is under the influence. I guess I just want to protect my son from any harm and also protect myself from violating our custody order.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

I suggest you get a lawyer and take him to court first.

 

[AnnieMal]

I have been considering that I guess I'm just not sure what my ultimate goal would be? Reversal of custody? Or a temporary reversal?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

I would think that you would want something that protects your child while your ex is a danger.

This is where a local family law attorney will come in. He knows how local courts have dealt with similar situations in the past and won't have you over reaching.

 

[LdiJ]

I have been considering that I guess I'm just not sure what my ultimate goal would be? Reversal of custody? Or a temporary reversal?

Your ultimate goal would be sole legal and physical custody with supervised visits for dad. Your argument for asking the judge to do so would be that his other child has been removed from his care by CPS and that he is using meth.

 

[AnnieMal]

Thank you. I guess I needed a little validation. My sons father is very demanding and is constantly talking in circles to persuade me that he should have visits. I keep close tabs on his open cases, so I'm aware of when he violates and has warrants. Sometimes, all the confusion makes me feel a little crazy and his threats make me nervous.

 

[AnnieMal]

His argument is that since he only has a CHIPS case with his other son, that shouldn't affect his visits with our son. That makes no sense to me. If you've had a child removed from your care, why would I hand you our son?

 

[LdiJ]

His argument is that since he only has a CHIPS case with his other son, that shouldn't affect his visits with our son. That makes no sense to me. If you've had a child removed from your care, why would I hand you our son?

That is the convoluted logic of a junkie who has no moral guide...who has been used to being able to bully someone into doing his bidding. Don't let him bully you.

 

[AnnieMal]

That's what I tell myself. But as you probably know, an active addict makes everyone around them sick. Do you all think it would be reasonable to tell him that if he gets his CHIPS case closed and graduates drug court, I will resume visits? How much clean time do you think is acceptable for any kind of trust level?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

You should be aware unless he is under some sort of order from the court or possibly CHIPS the current visitation order for your child is still in effect. While a judge may well accept your excuse for not allowing visitation he may not as well.

You need to file for an emergency order now. As you are currently not following the active order your could be held in contempt of court.

 

[AnnieMal]

Thank you. That has been my fear and exactly what I want to avoid.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

I just notice this post.

That's what I tell myself. But as you probably know, an active addict makes everyone around them sick. Do you all think it would be reasonable to tell him that if he gets his CHIPS case closed and graduates drug court, I will resume visits? How much clean time do you think is acceptable for any kind of trust level?

You keep writing like you have some legal say at this point in when he can and can't see his child. The court already made that decsion when it signed off or ordered the visitation plan.

The only way that is going to change is you getting back to court.

 

[AnnieMal]

You are correct. I legally don't have any say. The father disappears for long stretches of time while incarcerated or using with no contact and then pops back up again while we are just living life. My goal is to protect my child from a toxic environment, not to diminish any possible loving relationships. Thanks for your input.