Ending child support

[sytech]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I just gained custody of my 8yr old son in June. When I went to court my lawyer mediated between the mother of my child and myself. I went for custody because my son had excessive absences (almost 30 in one school year). We agreed that we would have joint custody with me having physical and residential custody of my son. I agreed to no child support from her.

My question is this when we went to court my lawyer ( she did not have one) made a hand written agreement of the terms. I went to the attorney general in Texas and took this hand written form to get them to stop support because he is now with me and they said stated they could not accept it because of rule 11?!!! I dont know what this is. I need help. I contacted my lawyer and she stated that the judge has still not signed the final order which is what the attorney general of texas is wanting. We went to court June 19th the child support was to be stopped immediatly. What do I do?

I know you guys have rules about long posts but I am new and I wanted to give some back ground. Any help is greatly appreciated.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I just gained custody of my 8yr old son in June. When I went to court my lawyer mediated between the mother of my child and myself. I went for custody because my son had excessive absences (almost 30 in one school year). We agreed that we would have joint custody with me having physical and residential custody of my son. I agreed to no child support from her.

My question is this when we went to court my lawyer ( she did not have one) made a hand written agreement of the terms. I went to the attorney general in Texas and took this hand written form to get them to stop support because he is now with me and they said stated they could not accept it because of rule 11?!!! I dont know what this is. I need help. I contacted my lawyer and she stated that the judge has still not signed the final order which is what the attorney general of texas is wanting. We went to court June 19th the child support was to be stopped immediatly. What do I do?

I know you guys have rules about long posts but I am new and I wanted to give some back ground. Any help is greatly appreciated.

You need to wait for the judge to sign the final order. Its unfortunate, but you need to urge your attorney to encourage the judge to get it signed.

 

[sytech]

Thanks

What do I do about the child support that has been paid since we went to court?

 

[sytech]

Ending child support I pay and receiving child support

Well, I am still dealing with the issue of ending child support. I went to AG in Austin to take my final order and they set a date for me to meet with someone there to get the cs to stop. My sons mother was to go to this meeting as well and she didn't show. So they set up another meeting and sent her notice of the meeting for Feb. 5th 2009 and she called to see what the meeting was about but she still didnt show again. So now we will be going to court.

My situation has changed and in our order it states that neither one of us is to pay the other for support. But, I have since been layed off. I am looking for employement and take odd jobs when I can. My current wife is working full time to provide for us as of now until I can find something permanent. Can I file for child support in court when we go in to stop my order for paying her? My wife doesn't make alot of money so all of the children are currently on state aide. Including the child that I just gained custody of. Would they order her to provide health insurance? We do get by and my son is really thriving here with us and doing better in school. He made all A honor roll. He's making friends and he has only missed two days of school this year due to him being sick(by this time last year when sons mom had custody he had already missed 14 days). I guess I am worried that If I bring up the fact that I am now requesting child support that she is going to fight me for custody. I doubt she will but I cant ever predict how she will react to any given situation.

We agreed in our order that I would be providing her with internet service so that she could chat with him through web camera and that I would provide a cell phone for him so she could talk to him directly. I was to provide the internet service for 1 year. I had them install for her in July and provided her with a web camera in order for her to be able to do this but she has only contacted him through it once and that was back in August. Would it be reasonable to request that I not pay that anymore since she doesnt even use it? I think I paid 39 for the first 6 months and now it went up to like 60dollars. 60 dollars could be used to put food on our table.

Also, our court order states that she is to pick up son at school on Fridays and she has not been doing so at all. Which is fine but, we usually make plans to go to out of town on fridays. When she doesn't get him then do we have to wait around until she decides she can come get him(she is always late because she goes to pick up her new husband at work first). I advised her that I would no longer wait until she could make it down to pick up son that she would need to come out and get him where ever he is. The only time she is to come to the house to get him is when son does not have school per court order. My father and Mother live about an hour away and they have been sick so we all (my wife and kids) go to their house to help out with house stuff they need done, my wife cooks and freezes my parents weekly meals. Sons mom gets him the 1st 2nd and 5th weekends of the month and I agreed to this arrangement because at the time she had custody of her younger child(not mine) and I wanted her to be able to have the boys on the same weekends. She gave custody of her younger son to his father starting the new year. She gets him the 1st 3rd and 5th. Would it be possible to change our schedule at this court hearing or will it only be for the child support? I would like to have the normal visitation schedule in place it would work out better we would each get at least two weekends a month. I have him all week but he is in school during the day and I was usually working during the day so the only time we ( son and I ) have together is after school. They have been giving him tons of homework and so I help him with that and we have dinner he does his reading and y the time you know it, its off to bed. I guess it just seems like the time that I do have is so limited and I would like to have two weekends so that we can all have some family time and not only that with her visitation schedule with her other son being what it is she would be able to have the boys on the same weekends. She is also not giving us any heads up before returning him. He is supposed to be back home no later than six on sundays but she never calls and sometimes we are not back home from visiting the my parents( we are always home before six). She will just show up and expect for us to be there. Is there some way of writing it in the order that she is to give us notice if she intends to drop him off early this way we can make sure that we are home when she brings him.

His mother is also supposed to have him on tuesday and wednsday nights from the time school lets out until 8 and she has not been coming to get him. I guess I just want to see if there is a possibility of changing the visitation to the Standard Texas visitation schedule. That would still give her one day a week (although she doesnt come during the week) to see him and 2-3 weekends a month and he would still have his cell phone to call her and for her to call him.

Would it be reasonable for me to bring this up in court when we go in for the child support stuff or do I need to consult with a lawyer?

Sons mom and I do not talk to each other directly. She refuses to do so. So, everything we discusss is through text messaging or letter writting. I am not trying to control the situation but, she only comes for her weekends and does not come during the week so rather than sit at home on the days she is supposed to come we can do other things like go to the park, or go watch a movie. I could even enroll him in a sport and he would be able to make the practices. She had custody for 8 years so I am working on the relationship with our son. I dont want to take any time from her but she isn't coming to see him and she would still have one night a week and two weekends a month to work with and I am always flexible if something comes up (birthday party, ect)I never say no you can have him because I realize that her and her family is just as important in his life as my wife and our family is.

I apologize for this being so long. I just need help I love our son and want whats best for him and I want to make sure that what I want to propse for visitation is not unreasonable and if it is If you guys can give me some ideas or feedback on what you think I should do. I want to make sure she gets her time and I want to make sure I also have some weekend recreation time with him.

 

[sytech]

I have not received any answers

could someone please help me. Did I do something wrong on my update? If I did could you guys please let me know so that I might correct it.

Thank You

 

[garrula lingua]

It depends on what request was made in the Motion the OAG filed, as to what issues are before the court.

The OAG should send you a copy of the Motion; verify that they included a child support modification. If they didn't, then send a letter to the Judge and, in a IV-D court, they'll probably consider it a Response & will address the issue.

 

[sytech]

When I went

On Feb. 5th for our last scheduled meeting they said that they would be setting up the court date for sometime in March. They asked me when would be good for me and I let them know that my family and I would be out of town from the time school lets out for spring break until the Saturday before they go back to school. So they assured me that they wouldn't schedule it for that time frame.

I can call OAG and see if the court date has been set. Could I also request to change the visitation schedule at this hearing?

 

[SIN EATER]

The OAG doesn't handle visitation - only in the initial paternity order (they do Changes of Status - when custody of a child transfers from one parent to the other --oops, that's what you are).

Other than those, you have to hire a private attorney, or file for a change in visitation yourself.

Call the OAG and ask about the hearing.

Telling the OAG that you are not available for several months is terrible - it ensures your case will linger, unprocessed, in some corner pile.

It would have been better to ask them to expedite the court hearing, and make your arrangements around the court date assigned.
If I were you, I'd call OAG; if you maintain that there are months when you are unavailable, your case probably can't be worked.

Ask the OAG if you can appear by telephone if you are away from the area (the court usually has to allow this).
You can also ask for a conference at the OAG's office (you can appear by phone, if necessary), and possibly resolve all issues outside court (the agreement is sent to Court and becomes an order).
That can be scheduled almost immediately (and, if you can't come to an agreement, the matter will, immediately, be filed for a court hearing).

Glancing over your post, the OAG should have filed for a change of status, to include conservatorship, visitation (possession and access), child support, health insurance (mandatory that the ncp provide or reimburse the cp), and court costs.

Check with them that they have filed such, and try to get this in court as soon as possible, so the c/s order can start (it will start after she is personally served for the court hearing or when she appears in court).

 

[sytech]

I did go to OAG

I have been to OAG twice already. They set up an in office meeting in Austin in August and Sons Mom didn't show. Then they set up another meeting that was just in Febuary 5th and Mom called to see what the meeting was about but she still didn't show not her personally or by phone. I showed to both meetings. I guess since she figures she isn't receiving child support she doesn't have a reason to show. When I went in Febuary is when they said that she was going to be subpeonaed to appear in court. I guess I thought that since we had to appear before the judge anyway that maybe they could at this time revisit the visitation schedule. The child support that I had been paying should have stopped immediatly when I gained custody Or so I thought or at least should have been suspended until a review could be done. I went to OAG many times and it was not temporarily suspended. So I gained custody in June but still payed for June, July and August because it was coming out of my paycheck. I lost my job and so the money was no longer able to be taken out of any paycheck and I started receiving letters from OAG stating that I needed to pay. I called and explained the situation to OAG and they set up the first meeting. I am seeking reimbursement for the months I payed when I already had custody. Of course Mom still accepted the money and spent it. So now Mom has had the opportunity twice to show and has not.

At the last meeting they said that we would be going to court in March and they asked me when would be a good time in that month. I let them know that we would be out of town from the 13th-21st. They said that was fine that they would schedule it this month sometime around that timeframe. I contacted my attorney yesterday but she was out sick and her assistant said she would call me back on Monday. I wanted to see if she would be available to go to court with me for the child support stuff. I thought she was supposed to be the one to make sure all of this was taken care of and she hasnt. Hopefully she will be able to help me out with all of this and I will be talking to her about retaining her to change the custody visitation schedule.

Honestly, I think the Texas Standard visitation schedule should work for both sons mom and I. I am looking out for Sons best interest as well as his little brother( moms other son) the way the order was done she has them on different visitation schedules so the boys dont get to see each other that much and before I gained custody they were together every day except for the weekends that I had son and his little brothers dad had him. I just want to make sure that they have the opportunity to be together. This would also give me an additional weekend because as it stands I only get one weekend a month. Even though I do have him during the week hes in school. Would it be a reasonable request to change the visitation schedule?

 

[SIN EATER]

You have to call the OAG several times in order to get movement on your case.

There shouldn't be a problem getting SPO (standard possession orders) - they are the most popular visitation orders.

One thing you HAVE to do in order to get the OAG to move quickly - fill out an APPLICATION for services.
If they are working off her application, they will drag their feet, as she is not cooperating in changing anything.

YOU must be the 'customer' in order to get prompt service from the OAG.

Go down to the OAG office and fill out an application for services. You will no longer be treated as an 'NCP', but will be a 'customer'.

 

[sytech]

Thank You

I will be personally going down to AG this week. I want this taken care of. Thank You for your advise it is appreciated.

 

[SIN EATER]

You are welcome, and Good Luck.

With most gov agencies, the squeaky wheel gets the oil.

 

[sytech]

Back once again!!! It never ends!!

Well, sons mom stopped coming for visitation during the week which is fine. I know its hurts our son but I know I cant force her to be there for him. She married on Febuary 5th and she picked him up for her weekday visit on this day. Since this day she has not visited during the week anymore. She is however coming for weekend visitation. Now, she has not talked to me since June (when I got custody). I found out through our childs school counsler that she called the school to set up a meeting with the counsler and our son to tell him that she is moving out of state. She told the counsler that she didnt know how to tell him. The counsler called me to see if it was ok to do so because I am the custodial parent I have the final say so in wether or not this would happen. Sons mom has not mentioned ANTHING at all about moving. I mean usually she will text about missing visits and stuff like that but I would think she should tell me something that is going to affect our son!! Can you imagine if the counsler hadn't told me and she had gone to the school and told him without me knowing. Our son would have come home really upset and I wouldn't have know what the heck was going on!!! I told the counsler no. That she couldn't tell him. Son is in 3rd grade and will be taking TAKS in two weeks and he is already feeling the pressure of that. I let her know that she could let mom know that she needs to wait until after taks to tell him anything and that both sons mother and I should be present when this happens as we are BOTH his parents. I am really upset...I mean when I went for custody I never in a million years did it to mess up the relationship our son had with his mom. It just seems like she doesn't care. I dont get it!! I was hoping she would wake up and do what she needed to do to get him back(not that I dont want son but I know that he loves her and wants to be with his mom). Its in his best interest to be with me...I know that but the situation is terrible.

So my question is this...My new order does not have a long distance plan on it at all what do we do? For those that dont remember we live in texas and she is moving to michigan. How does texas usually handle long distance visitation? And is it my responsibility to go back to court? I dont have the money for it at all.Who pays for the travel cost? I assume her right? she is the one creating the distance. I dont receive any child support and I cant afford to pay for airfare as I have two other children and a wife to support as well. What kind of plan do you guys suggest?

I really am just in disbelief right now. She has two boys our son and a younger son with another man and she gave him to his dad just after I got custody. My son was already having a hard time with adjusting I dont think this is going to help any. When she stopped weekday visits he started acting up at home and at school. I made an appointment for him with his therapist so he can have someone other than me to talk about his feelings. I never imagined this would happen. Any additonal suggestions on helping our son cope would be great.

Sons mom lives less than an hour away right now and she never calls him even though we provide him with his own cell phone, she doesn't chat with him even though I bought them both web cams and pay for her internet, she is not involved in any of his school activities (wasn't before I gained custody either). Im scared of whats going to happen when she moves. I hope that she is there for him. But, I really dont think she is going to be. I am sorry that this is so long. Please, Please give me any suggestions you may have.

 

[Ohiogal]

Texas has a standard plan I do believe to deal with long distance visitation.

 

[sytech]

Update

I have filled out the online form to request child support from NC I did this last week. I received my case number and all.

Today NC called to finally talk to me about her move other stuff came up such as child is saying things to her and to me to play us against each other. NC had not contacted me through phone or even tried to even discuss these issuses with me at all since our court date on June 16, 09. I had tried to talk to her about issues our son was having by providing her with letters and texting her since she refused to talk to me. She said she wanted to sit down with me and son so that we could explain her move and how visitation was going to work so that we can all work together. Also, so son knows that we know what he is doing and he can see that he will no longer be able to do it. She said that her and her new husband set up a travel fund for him and his brother (from another father). All is good I am glad that she is now willing to talk but I have another question.

Who would be responsible for travel cost us or her?

She is creating the move. I want to make sure because I dont want to have issues with this in the future. I also want to reccomend to her that we get a long distance parenting plan that will work for everyone involved. I want him to have as much time with both of us as he can. What would be a reasonable agreement standard visitation stated she would get him every spring break but we as in my spouse and other children take a family vacation every other spring break would it be reasonable to request every other spring break with us?