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Ex wife overcharged for day care and my fiancee paid - is this contempt

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krisprice

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Idaho

I am engaged to a man with two minor children. When we first started dating I stayed completely out of his child support/financial issues with his ex-wife. After we moved in together and started sharing finances, I inquired as to why he was paying her so much money when she makes twice as much as him. She would send him a text every month itemizing what he owed her for the month, child support, day care, and school lunches. He would just pay whatever she asked. I asked him to see a copy of the court paperwork and he indicated he did not have it. We were easily able to get a copy and upon review learned that him paying for the school lunches was no where in the decree and further it stated that once she provided a copy of the day care invoice his portion was due within so many days. Her text messages were very deceptive stating the decree said he was to pay of "child expenses" which lunches fell into. This is no where in the decree. However, she was alleging that she was paying $150 a month and his half was $75 a month. He paid this every month during school months on two children for two years. When I got involved I did some research on actual costs and we learned he was paying over 100% of the costs. In his contempt charge he states he is willing to pay half but would like the additional expense he incurred by paying over 100% of actual costs to be considered. Back to the day care issue, once he started demanding that he get child care invoices before he paid, she reluctantly provided a couple of the previous months, which we compared to her text messages. Every single month she had inflated the expense causing my fiancée to pay approximately 70% of the day care bill instead of the 50% a in the decree. And after all the overpayment, she refused to provide a copy of the 1099 from the day care so he could claim his share of the expense on his taxes. Without the 1099 the credit can not be taken, causing him to loose $400 a year from his tax refund. He is awarded claiming one of his children in the decree. The final issue is the decree states the parties will each travel to pick up the children when it is there custody time with the receiving parent doing the traveling. She refused for several months to deliver or pick up the children for visitation because my fiancé had moved 45 miles away after the divorce. The decree states either parent is allowed to move 100 miles away. Once he saw the decree he insisted on this being fair. Prior to that time she would tell him if he was unwilling to pick them up and bring them home he would not be able to see them. So the contempt issues are she failed to provide day care invoices for two years resulting in hundreds of dollars being overpaid; requesting 100% of school lunches, not even a condition of the decree that he pay any; failure to provide the 1099 and him loosing money on his tax refund; and failure to be fair in the transportation of the children. I was very frustrated at my fiancée for not having a copy of the decree and making all the overpayments. Mind you his ex makes 6 figures a year and my fiancée was going through a job loss, repossession of his truck and filing bankruptcy during these overpayments. Will the judge see the overpayment as my fiancée being naïve for not having the decree or are these actual contempt charges that give him a chance at justice. He was just trying to be a good father and support his children and she took complete advantage of him.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Idaho

I am engaged to a man with two minor children. When we first started dating I stayed completely out of his child support/financial issues with his ex-wife. After we moved in together and started sharing finances, I inquired as to why he was paying her so much money when she makes twice as much as him. She would send him a text every month itemizing what he owed her for the month, child support, day care, and school lunches. He would just pay whatever she asked. I asked him to see a copy of the court paperwork and he indicated he did not have it. We were easily able to get a copy and upon review learned that him paying for the school lunches was no where in the decree and further it stated that once she provided a copy of the day care invoice his portion was due within so many days. Her text messages were very deceptive stating the decree said he was to pay of "child expenses" which lunches fell into. This is no where in the decree. However, she was alleging that she was paying $150 a month and his half was $75 a month. He paid this every month during school months on two children for two years. When I got involved I did some research on actual costs and we learned he was paying over 100% of the costs. In his contempt charge he states he is willing to pay half but would like the additional expense he incurred by paying over 100% of actual costs to be considered. Back to the day care issue, once he started demanding that he get child care invoices before he paid, she reluctantly provided a couple of the previous months, which we compared to her text messages. Every single month she had inflated the expense causing my fiancée to pay approximately 70% of the day care bill instead of the 50% a in the decree. And after all the overpayment, she refused to provide a copy of the 1099 from the day care so he could claim his share of the expense on his taxes. Without the 1099 the credit can not be taken, causing him to loose $400 a year from his tax refund. He is awarded claiming one of his children in the decree. The final issue is the decree states the parties will each travel to pick up the children when it is there custody time with the receiving parent doing the traveling. She refused for several months to deliver or pick up the children for visitation because my fiancé had moved 45 miles away after the divorce. The decree states either parent is allowed to move 100 miles away. Once he saw the decree he insisted on this being fair. Prior to that time she would tell him if he was unwilling to pick them up and bring them home he would not be able to see them. So the contempt issues are she failed to provide day care invoices for two years resulting in hundreds of dollars being overpaid; requesting 100% of school lunches, not even a condition of the decree that he pay any; failure to provide the 1099 and him loosing money on his tax refund; and failure to be fair in the transportation of the children. I was very frustrated at my fiancée for not having a copy of the decree and making all the overpayments. Mind you his ex makes 6 figures a year and my fiancée was going through a job loss, repossession of his truck and filing bankruptcy during these overpayments. Will the judge see the overpayment as my fiancée being naïve for not having the decree or are these actual contempt charges that give him a chance at justice. He was just trying to be a good father and support his children and she took complete advantage of him.
Your fiancé is not allowed, under the federal tax code, to take a daycare credit for the children. Only the parent with primary custody (by the IRS's definition of primary custody, which is the parent with the most overnights a year) is allowed to take the daycare credit. It doesn't matter who pays for the daycare, the credit may only be taken by the parent with primary custody. Therefore, your fiancé will look foolish if he tries to include that in any motion for show cause for contempt.

She also would not be in contempt for asking him to pay 1/2 of school lunches. He did not have to pay that, but he should have known that and he could have refused without any problem. Its also questionable if she would be in actual contempt for overcharging him on the daycare, since he also knew that he was supposed to get the actual bills before paying.

She does appear to be in contempt of the transportation orders, but again, your fiancé was going along with her.

All in all, she is probably looking at no more than a slap on the wrist this time around, although it would get more serious if she continues to play games with him.
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Idaho

I am engaged to a man with two minor children. When we first started dating I stayed completely out of his child support/financial issues with his ex-wife. After we moved in together and started sharing finances, I inquired as to why he was paying her so much money when she makes twice as much as him. She would send him a text every month itemizing what he owed her for the month, child support, day care, and school lunches. He would just pay whatever she asked. I asked him to see a copy of the court paperwork and he indicated he did not have it. We were easily able to get a copy and upon review learned that him paying for the school lunches was no where in the decree and further it stated that once she provided a copy of the day care invoice his portion was due within so many days. Her text messages were very deceptive stating the decree said he was to pay of "child expenses" which lunches fell into. This is no where in the decree. However, she was alleging that she was paying $150 a month and his half was $75 a month. He paid this every month during school months on two children for two years. When I got involved I did some research on actual costs and we learned he was paying over 100% of the costs. In his contempt charge he states he is willing to pay half but would like the additional expense he incurred by paying over 100% of actual costs to be considered. Back to the day care issue, once he started demanding that he get child care invoices before he paid, she reluctantly provided a couple of the previous months, which we compared to her text messages. Every single month she had inflated the expense causing my fiancée to pay approximately 70% of the day care bill instead of the 50% a in the decree. And after all the overpayment, she refused to provide a copy of the 1099 from the day care so he could claim his share of the expense on his taxes. Without the 1099 the credit can not be taken, causing him to loose $400 a year from his tax refund. He is awarded claiming one of his children in the decree. The final issue is the decree states the parties will each travel to pick up the children when it is there custody time with the receiving parent doing the traveling. She refused for several months to deliver or pick up the children for visitation because my fiancé had moved 45 miles away after the divorce. The decree states either parent is allowed to move 100 miles away. Once he saw the decree he insisted on this being fair. Prior to that time she would tell him if he was unwilling to pick them up and bring them home he would not be able to see them. So the contempt issues are she failed to provide day care invoices for two years resulting in hundreds of dollars being overpaid; requesting 100% of school lunches, not even a condition of the decree that he pay any; failure to provide the 1099 and him loosing money on his tax refund; and failure to be fair in the transportation of the children. I was very frustrated at my fiancée for not having a copy of the decree and making all the overpayments. Mind you his ex makes 6 figures a year and my fiancée was going through a job loss, repossession of his truck and filing bankruptcy during these overpayments. Will the judge see the overpayment as my fiancée being naïve for not having the decree or are these actual contempt charges that give him a chance at justice. He was just trying to be a good father and support his children and she took complete advantage of him.
Did Dad move before, or after, the decree was final?

Better idea: get Dad to sign up with his own account. This isn't your legal business. At all. Even if.
 

HRZ

Senior Member
Board frowns on 3d party questions.

MY suggestion as a layman : .fussing in court is likely to result in her getting a wet noodle warning to stop..at best..and while I see the overpayment point ...I doubt it's contempt ...it might be a valid point if he was asking for credit due to overpayment mistake ..but I have doubts about selling that in court , it reads like acquiesce too! AS the expression goes , YOU are crying over spilled milk...and in this case, not even your milk.

As others post, 1099 is useless as he is not entitled to any related tax deduction.

My suggestion to Dad is pay only those bills you are clearly required by order to pay ...nice gets you ZERO countable brownie points. PS If order says pay timely upon recipt of invoice...well do so and not before.

BTW if there is a significant current downward change in his ability to pay ...he might want to research if that is a good basis to petition for a change in CS....soon. Past problems don't count ...
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Idaho

I am engaged to a man with two minor children. When we first started dating I stayed completely out of his child support/financial issues with his ex-wife. After we moved in together and started sharing finances, I inquired as to why he was paying her so much money when she makes twice as much as him. She would send him a text every month itemizing what he owed her for the month, child support, day care, and school lunches. He would just pay whatever she asked. I asked him to see a copy of the court paperwork and he indicated he did not have it. We were easily able to get a copy and upon review learned that him paying for the school lunches was no where in the decree and further it stated that once she provided a copy of the day care invoice his portion was due within so many days. Her text messages were very deceptive stating the decree said he was to pay of "child expenses" which lunches fell into. This is no where in the decree. However, she was alleging that she was paying $150 a month and his half was $75 a month. He paid this every month during school months on two children for two years. When I got involved I did some research on actual costs and we learned he was paying over 100% of the costs. In his contempt charge he states he is willing to pay half but would like the additional expense he incurred by paying over 100% of actual costs to be considered. Back to the day care issue, once he started demanding that he get child care invoices before he paid, she reluctantly provided a couple of the previous months, which we compared to her text messages. Every single month she had inflated the expense causing my fiancée to pay approximately 70% of the day care bill instead of the 50% a in the decree. And after all the overpayment, she refused to provide a copy of the 1099 from the day care so he could claim his share of the expense on his taxes. Without the 1099 the credit can not be taken, causing him to loose $400 a year from his tax refund. He is awarded claiming one of his children in the decree. The final issue is the decree states the parties will each travel to pick up the children when it is there custody time with the receiving parent doing the traveling. She refused for several months to deliver or pick up the children for visitation because my fiancé had moved 45 miles away after the divorce. The decree states either parent is allowed to move 100 miles away. Once he saw the decree he insisted on this being fair. Prior to that time she would tell him if he was unwilling to pick them up and bring them home he would not be able to see them. So the contempt issues are she failed to provide day care invoices for two years resulting in hundreds of dollars being overpaid; requesting 100% of school lunches, not even a condition of the decree that he pay any; failure to provide the 1099 and him loosing money on his tax refund; and failure to be fair in the transportation of the children. I was very frustrated at my fiancée for not having a copy of the decree and making all the overpayments. Mind you his ex makes 6 figures a year and my fiancée was going through a job loss, repossession of his truck and filing bankruptcy during these overpayments. Will the judge see the overpayment as my fiancée being naïve for not having the decree or are these actual contempt charges that give him a chance at justice. He was just trying to be a good father and support his children and she took complete advantage of him.
You are wrong in a dozen different ways. He has to pay what the court orders. He does not get to claim IRS exemptions because he is not the PRIMARY parent. You are overstepping. There is no evidence he overpaid. Maybe he should not have children he can not afford. And you should not be involving yourself.

Nothing you state says she took advantage of him. $75 a month for day care is NOTHING. and quite frankly he is lucky if that is all he was paying for a child -- or more than one child. YOU are out of touch.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
All I see here is a dad who willingly agreed to pay what the mom asked for, even though it was more than the order required...

Oh, and you really ought to butt out of your boyfriend's matters.
 

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