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Filed Child Support against ex, received threats..should I file a restraining order?

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lilo8989

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Hello,

I recently just filed child support for my 2 children. I'm waiting to receive an appointment. Yesterday, I started receiving threatening texts from my ex, (he got upset i put him on child support) they were pretty much death threats, and then said if i ever brought up the non-sense he was texting me, which were all insults and threats, he's pretty much cut my head off. I left him about 2 years ago, he didn't leave quietly. He damaged my property and I called the cops and filed a police report. We have a long history of domestic violence, its not the first time he verbally or physically abused me. That was not the only time i called the cops on him. He's been to jail once years ago for putting his hands on me.

Should I go ahead and file a restraining order against him for the threats he has recently made? Will this affect me at when i try to go for full custody of my children? Do I need a lawyer?

Thanks in advance.
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Hello,

I recently just filed child support for my 2 children. I'm waiting to receive an appointment. Yesterday, I started receiving threatening texts from my ex, (he got upset i put him on child support) they were pretty much death threats, and then said if i ever brought up the non-sense he was texting me, which were all insults and threats, he's pretty much cut my head off. I left him about 2 years ago, he didn't leave quietly. He damaged my property and I called the cops and filed a police report. We have a long history of domestic violence, its not the first time he verbally or physically abused me. That was not the only time i called the cops on him. He's been to jail once years ago for putting his hands on me.

Should I go ahead and file a restraining order against him for the threats he has recently made? Will this affect me at when i try to go for full custody of my children? Do I need a lawyer?

Thanks in advance.
What is the custody situation now? What were the threats? "pretty much" means nothing. What did he text you? Were or are you married to your "ex"? How long ago was the domestic violence? How old are the children that the TWO OF YOU have?
 

lilo8989

Junior Member
What is the custody situation now? What were the threats? "pretty much" means nothing. What did he text you? Were or are you married to your "ex"? How long ago was the domestic violence? How old are the children that the TWO OF YOU have?
I have my children, he sees them every other week but does not provide any support for them. The threats include, "tread lightly bitch...im good with a bow and arrow" if you ever go to court and tell them any of this ill cut you and your hubby's head off." It was a really long thread.

The last time he put his hands on me I would say was 2-3 years ago. Violence was ongoing for about 12 years. Never married. They are 9 and 11.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I have my children, he sees them every other week but does not provide any support for them. The threats include, "tread lightly bitch...im good with a bow and arrow" if you ever go to court and tell them any of this ill cut you and your hubby's head off." It was a really long thread.

The last time he put his hands on me I would say was 2-3 years ago. Violence was ongoing for about 12 years. Never married. They are 9 and 11.
You need to call the cops and you need to file for a restraining order.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I have my children, he sees them every other week but does not provide any support for them. The threats include, "tread lightly bitch...im good with a bow and arrow" if you ever go to court and tell them any of this ill cut you and your hubby's head off." It was a really long thread.

The last time he put his hands on me I would say was 2-3 years ago. Violence was ongoing for about 12 years. Never married. They are 9 and 11.
Okay what is the CUSTODY ORDER?
 

lilo8989

Junior Member
Okay what is the CUSTODY ORDER?
There's no custody order. We've never been to court and nothing has ever been filed. Till this past Monday, when I filed for child support against him. I'm waiting to receive my appointment from the state.
 

lilo8989

Junior Member
There's no custody order. We've never been to court and nothing has ever been filed. Till this past Monday, when I filed for child support against him. I'm waiting to receive my appointment from the state.
If anyone could please give me advice, itll be truly appreciated. He is clearly unstable and I dont know what to do.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
There's no custody order. We've never been to court and nothing has ever been filed. Till this past Monday, when I filed for child support against him. I'm waiting to receive my appointment from the state.
I am then going to tell you that you don't have to go to court to get full custody. YOU HAVE IT BY DEFAULT. You are the mother. Dad has a right to file for enforceable visitation and custody but you don't have to file anything. So don't file anything for custody. Proceed on child support and if dad continues, you are within your rights to deny him contact if there is not order for visits. You can also pursue a protection order protecting YOU ... but he hasn't threatened the children. So don't overextend it. But you also don't have to voluntarily allow him to get the children.
 

lilo8989

Junior Member
I am then going to tell you that you don't have to go to court to get full custody. YOU HAVE IT BY DEFAULT. You are the mother. Dad has a right to file for enforceable visitation and custody but you don't have to file anything. So don't file anything for custody. Proceed on child support and if dad continues, you are within your rights to deny him contact if there is not order for visits. You can also pursue a protection order protecting YOU ... but he hasn't threatened the children. So don't overextend it. But you also don't have to voluntarily allow him to get the children.
Okay, I appreciate your reply and advice, it makes sense. I won't request a restraining order, since it does save me a day off work to go to court for it .

My next question, should I bring up any of the threats he's made at the child support appointment or just leave it alone?
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Okay, I appreciate your reply and advice, it makes sense. I won't request a restraining order, since it does save me a day off work to go to court for it .

My next question, should I bring up any of the threats he's made at the child support appointment or just leave it alone?
Um... Go to the police and report the threats.

If you are genuinely fearful that he might actually get violent, then file for a restraining order. It is better to save your own life than to save a day off of work.

P.S. The threats have nothing to do with the calculation of child support. However, you should have child support go through your state's child enforcement bureau, as he does not sound like the type who would easily comply.
 
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HRZ

Senior Member
PS most child support is not retroactive earlier than the date of proper filing for same...so if he scares you into inaction with his war dance..he wins that time block....get whatever steps are required to file for CS into place soon ...unclear where you are in process...
 

lilo8989

Junior Member
Um... Go to the police and report the threats.

If you are genuinely fearful that he might actually get violent, then file for a restraining order. It is better to save your own life than to save a day off of work.

P.S. The threats have nothing to do with the calculation of child support. However, you should have child support go through your state's child enforcement bureau, as he does not sound like the type who would easily comply.
He's more bark than bite...he has always been a narcissitic manipulator. Highly doubt he'll put his hands on me, especially now that he has a baby on the way from the new girlfriend. He's never been violent with the girls, nor have they ever told me he has. He's really just trying to manipulate me into not filing. Saying such things as" I don't make a lot of money" (so I could feel bad for him) But the other day he showed up in a brand new car that supposedly the girlfriend bought him.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
He's more bark than bite...he has always been a narcissitic manipulator. Highly doubt he'll put his hands on me, especially now that he has a baby on the way from the new girlfriend. He's never been violent with the girls, nor have they ever told me he has. He's really just trying to manipulate me into not filing. Saying such things as" I don't make a lot of money" (so I could feel bad for him) But the other day he showed up in a brand new car that supposedly the girlfriend bought him.
So. What is your point of the RO? BTW...You DO understand that the "relationship" with this guy is over...right?
 

HRZ

Senior Member
THere are some state specific rules ( way beyond me..I just,know they are there ) as to CS math and subsequent children ...seems smart to me to get my CS order in place before there are any others in any line to be addressed .
 

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