Divorce Decree-non compliance/payment

[Shangi808]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii but divorced in California and ex husband now resides in Florida.

I’ve been divorced for 6 years now, and the decree states that my ex husband pays for our two daughters college tuition with no minumum or maximum capped amount. He’s also to provide medical, dental & vision insurance for our two daughters as long as they are full time students!

He hasn’t bern paying for college tuition for the last two years, also hasn’t paid my 50% of his 401k plan up to filed divorce date, and he’s been late on support payments several times resulting in returned checks and bank fees! I have made numerous attempts requesting payment or reimbursement by email, text and regular mail but nothing! He has a new family and child, and has neglected our daughters needs and decree.

What can I do to get him to comply and pay?! Can I call Florida police to have him arrested, mostly for neglecting and ignoring our daughters whom he hasn’t seen for several years or spoken to in a little over a year now

 

[stealth2]

You could file against him for contempt - in CA. Police will not arrest him, regardless of the state as you are dealing with a civil - not a criminal - matter.

The wording regarding college could be important - my ex was also ordered to pay, but there was a little loophole in the language that I didn't notice at the time. Oh well. I paid myself.

 

[Zigner]

...he’s been late on support payments several times resulting in returned checks and bank fees!

Those fees are on you. You wrote checks without having the money in the account.

 

[Shangi808]

I’m very aware those fees were on me...thanks for your input, not that it helped!

 

[stealth2]

I’m very aware those fees were on me...thanks for your input, not that it helped!

Of course, you always have the option of paying a lawyer to handle things for you.

 

[HRZ]

BOrtom line you seem to lack the skills to get the order enforced ...Im not being critical of your skills...you need to hire the skill set to press your point of view as to the order.

Odds are since nobody is in CA you need to get the CA order domesticated to HI where you and presumably the children are residents ...sort it out with HI counsel .

You may have a shot at your cost recovery as part of sanctions sought . Ask counsel.

I agree with others if you bounce checks that's on your meter .

Is Dad providing health insurance as ordered?

SMart way to get money out of 401(k) is to pay attention to tax code and defer taxes ...common tool is a QDRO ...

 

[Zigner]

I’m very aware those fees were on me...thanks for your input, not that it helped!

You're welcome, and I'm sorry it didn't help. Frankly, I had no way of knowing that you understood the fees were your responsibility. You included the information in your post in a way that made it appear that you felt he needed to pay for your fees for writing checks for which you knew there weren't sufficient funds in your account at the time. You may wish to work on your communications skills as you move forward in this matter.

 

[Shangi808]

I apologize, and everyone is correct. I do need to work on my communication skills, I had no idea just mentioning incurring bank fees would be taken out of context! It was only mentioned to show my ex husbands contempt and delinquency with his responsibilities to his children!

I’m assuming that I’m also responsible for paying doctor visits out of pocket because of no insurance card or information for my daughters was given by their father?! As with the bank fees, I know have to pay out of my pocket, the entire cost of a physical exam for my daughter since she has no insurance information or card!!! Can I include those fees to be reimbursed to me?

 

[Shangi808]

Just an FYI, the support money is automatically taken out of his payroll and credited into my bank account on a set date/frequency. My ex is the only one who may change the day it’s withdrawn for payment!

 

[Shangi808]

The reason I’m here looking for a little more insight and advice is mainly because I’m confused and can’t seem to get the help I need! I’ve already contacted California and started a case here in Hawaii, so they may initiate on my behalf an order against my ex with Florida Child Support! I’m not getting anything from Hawaii and it’s been since last October!

 

[Just Blue]

Why do so many of the posters feel the need to use inappropriate exclamations?(!!!!!!)

Is punctuation dead in the US?

 

[HRZ]

it would seem logical to me that if order requires dad to insure children for medical and he fails to do so , that he is accountable for the actual costs .but ask your attorney.

I think your odds depend on using good counsel...presuming dad has ability to pay .

 

[stealth2]

If he is required by court order to provide insurance and does not, you can file against him for contempt and request that he pay the expenses for doctor visits incurred as a result. Until that is ordered/he does so, yes, you have to pay the doctor.

 

[HRZ]

IF it is "impossible" for Dad to provide insurance going forward he could seek relief from that requirement.and it's probably a valid defense as to contempt . .but that's not a point you have yet raised . THere may be other ways to address costs of insurance ..discuss it with your attorney.

YOu need to be a bit more proactive as to the distribution of the 401(k) ...and it's not clear is you were to be cashed out for a defined sum or % or via a QDRO ( which is pretty much up to you to get in place ) ..as a practical problem if he cleans out the 401(k) or he dies leaving it to his widow or whatever...it may be hard bordering on impossible to reconstruct and get paid.

 

[HRZ]

THe issues as to college tuition keep changing ...and there was a modest change in CA in 2014 Drescher v Gross which might open window for Dad to seek changes to the order going forward ...ask your counsel if / how it applies to your Issues . Im a layman ..my lay view is Dad would not be entitled to relief from the order to pay college for expenses already incurred but only for such future changes as he petitions and the court may grant...but again you ask your lawyer .

College tuition and medical coverage are very big issues ..especially if you have students likely to pursue graduate education ....and they are rather state specific ....

I think you have lousy odds to pursue all this somewhat complex package of issues successfully unless you use paid counsel ( and dad has the ability to pay) You might have some success in getting court to award your legal costs as part of the sanctions for contempt...but again discuss it with counsel ...Does Dad have ability to Pay?