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Thread: Husband will

  1. #1
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    Husband will

    My husband and I are getting a divorce. We own two homes. One is in CO and the other one is in OR and is a rental property. The homes have been financed into one mortgage. My husband is keeping the houses and funds have been allocated to me in other ways. The CO home has a lot of meaning to us...our daughter passed away five years ago and he added onto the home by himself for our family. I really do not want him to sell the Colorado house. I have no desire to possess it...I'd like to start over and remember my daughter in a new way. However, I want to be removed from the loan and my lawyer has made this clear that this needs to happen. I'd like to be free of the mortgage so that I can buy my own house one day. I'm a teacher and cannot afford to be on the loan for his homes. My husband insists that he cannot refinance and even if he can, he refuses to because it will increase his mortgage payment which he says he cannot afford to pay. I talked to a mortgage broker and he said that it's possible, but will be complicated and tricky because my husband just took a new job with a drastic pay cut and his debt to income ration has changed. Also, having two homes on one mortgage is very difficult to work with. The broker said there is a 95 chance that a refinance can happen. My husband has excellent credit, no debt except for the homes and has good financial history. Fast forward...my husband thinks that we can write in our divorce agreement that if he defaults on his mortgage debt, I will not be forced to pay it and will be given the OR house as collateral. It will be written that if when I want to buy a house, I will not be liable for the debt because this clause will absolve me of it. I told him that this will not work and the mortgage company will not honor this. They have a process to remove someone from a loan and it usually involves selling, refinancing or assuming. He has no basis in this idea except the fact that 'a contract is a contract.' My lawyer told him this as well, but he thinks she's lying. Do you have any ideas about this? We are at a standstill now and things are getting ugly.


  2. #2
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    You are represented - you really need to discuss this matter with your attorney. While we would like to help, the simple fact of the matter is that we're a bunch of internet strangers who have no real knowledge of the various matters involved in your complicated divorce. I wish you, him, and your entire family luck during this trying time.


  3. #3
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    You are represented ..so ask him or her.....but a few general observations just from an investor standpoint .

    1. Hubby cannot contract away the lenders right to foreclose or chase you or both if he fails to pay in full...and you would be on very unsafe ground to assume he will carry out paying properly..and fully insuring each property..

    2. Fast forward to economic basics...if the rental does not have a positive cash flow and he has a salary cut ...his ability to carry the existing mortgage is in question, much less his ability to refinance on equal or better terms.

    3. Many a post here about deals that supposedly required refinancing but for a variety of reasons the person never got it done...and such situations may not be easy to fix ...like dumb move to invite future problems .

    4 I' d suggest closure and ties CUT including financial links

    5. Nasty/Ugly is not a relevant legal point...but then too history and old meanings have no legal weight .

    6 Hubby''s views are not safe for your pocketbook WHether one could draft a deal that safely holds you harmless is beyond my crystal ball....and I assure you if you are on the mortgage it has big odds of biting you in behind if and when you seek competive rate mortgage on your own home .

    7 . I would agree with your lawyer that you must be off mortgage ..and to my view in your fact pattern ..must be up front done .


  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by TootysMom View Post
    My husband and I are getting a divorce. We own two homes. One is in CO and the other one is in OR and is a rental property. The homes have been financed into one mortgage. My husband is keeping the houses and funds have been allocated to me in other ways. The CO home has a lot of meaning to us...our daughter passed away five years ago and he added onto the home by himself for our family. I really do not want him to sell the Colorado house. I have no desire to possess it...I'd like to start over and remember my daughter in a new way. However, I want to be removed from the loan and my lawyer has made this clear that this needs to happen. I'd like to be free of the mortgage so that I can buy my own house one day. I'm a teacher and cannot afford to be on the loan for his homes. My husband insists that he cannot refinance and even if he can, he refuses to because it will increase his mortgage payment which he says he cannot afford to pay. I talked to a mortgage broker and he said that it's possible, but will be complicated and tricky because my husband just took a new job with a drastic pay cut and his debt to income ration has changed. Also, having two homes on one mortgage is very difficult to work with. The broker said there is a 95 chance that a refinance can happen. My husband has excellent credit, no debt except for the homes and has good financial history. Fast forward...my husband thinks that we can write in our divorce agreement that if he defaults on his mortgage debt, I will not be forced to pay it and will be given the OR house as collateral. It will be written that if when I want to buy a house, I will not be liable for the debt because this clause will absolve me of it. I told him that this will not work and the mortgage company will not honor this. They have a process to remove someone from a loan and it usually involves selling, refinancing or assuming. He has no basis in this idea except the fact that 'a contract is a contract.' My lawyer told him this as well, but he thinks she's lying. Do you have any ideas about this? We are at a standstill now and things are getting ugly.
    I don't know why you are here, but I know why this rhubarb is at a "stand still". The hang up is rather obvious. Pure and simple.You want to walk away from the marriage with a clean slate, viz. scott free of the mortgage indebtedness by dumping it in your husband's lap via a refinance and he is rightfully refusing to be bound by such a commitment.

    In the meantime your lady lawyer is reaping the benefit$ as the time sheet lengthens!!


  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by latigo View Post
    I don't know why you are here, but I know why this rhubarb is at a "stand still". The hang up is rather obvious. Pure and simple.You want to walk away from the marriage with a clean slate, viz. scott free of the mortgage indebtedness by dumping it in your husband's lap via a refinance and he is rightfully refusing to be bound by such a commitment.
    I disagree with that take on it. The husband wants to keep the homes. He doesn’t have to keep them; he could sell them, pay off the mortgages, and then they split up the assets and go their separate ways. That would be quite fair and would leave the OP debt free to begin her financial rebuild and buy a house later. But if he wants to keep the houses, why shouldn’t then then refinance them to get the mortgages in his name only? The mortgage will not benefit the OP if she no longer retains ownership in either one of the homes.


  6. #6
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    OR, THEY could sell at least one to move the equation forward ...but, we don't know the equity position in either.


  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by latigo View Post
    I don't know why you are here, but I know why this rhubarb is at a "stand still". The hang up is rather obvious. Pure and simple.You want to walk away from the marriage with a clean slate, viz. scott free of the mortgage indebtedness by dumping it in your husband's lap via a refinance and he is rightfully refusing to be bound by such a commitment.

    In the meantime your lady lawyer is reaping the benefit$ as the time sheet lengthens!!
    And I don't know why you insist on posting such drivel.

    The whole point of a divorce is to separate your lives, to the extent legally possible. If one party wants to keep a house, then they've got to come up with the $ to pay the associated costs. Period. If neither party can afford the property on their own, then the property should be sold and the proceeds divided among the parties.

    OP should realize that, however, that she really can't dictate what her STBX does with the marital home post-divorce, once her financial ties to it have been severed.


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taxing Matters View Post
    I disagree with that take on it. The husband wants to keep the homes. He doesn’t have to keep them; he could sell them, pay off the mortgages, and then they split up the assets and go their separate ways. That would be quite fair and would leave the OP debt free to begin her financial rebuild and buy a house later. But if he wants to keep the houses, why shouldn’t then then refinance them to get the mortgages in his name only? The mortgage will not benefit the OP if she no longer retains ownership in either one of the homes.
    Actually - OP says she doesn't want him to sell the one home. Nor does she want to (or is unable to) keep it herself.


  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by TootysMom View Post
    My husband and I are getting a divorce. We own two homes. One is in CO and the other one is in OR and is a rental property. The homes have been financed into one mortgage. My husband is keeping the houses and funds have been allocated to me in other ways. The CO home has a lot of meaning to us...our daughter passed away five years ago and he added onto the home by himself for our family. I really do not want him to sell the Colorado house. I have no desire to possess it...I'd like to start over and remember my daughter in a new way. However, I want to be removed from the loan and my lawyer has made this clear that this needs to happen. I'd like to be free of the mortgage so that I can buy my own house one day. I'm a teacher and cannot afford to be on the loan for his homes. My husband insists that he cannot refinance and even if he can, he refuses to because it will increase his mortgage payment which he says he cannot afford to pay. I talked to a mortgage broker and he said that it's possible, but will be complicated and tricky because my husband just took a new job with a drastic pay cut and his debt to income ration has changed. Also, having two homes on one mortgage is very difficult to work with. The broker said there is a 95 chance that a refinance can happen. My husband has excellent credit, no debt except for the homes and has good financial history. Fast forward...my husband thinks that we can write in our divorce agreement that if he defaults on his mortgage debt, I will not be forced to pay it and will be given the OR house as collateral. It will be written that if when I want to buy a house, I will not be liable for the debt because this clause will absolve me of it. I told him that this will not work and the mortgage company will not honor this. They have a process to remove someone from a loan and it usually involves selling, refinancing or assuming. He has no basis in this idea except the fact that 'a contract is a contract.' My lawyer told him this as well, but he thinks she's lying. Do you have any ideas about this? We are at a standstill now and things are getting ugly.
    It sounds to me like the properties are going to need to be sold...and pretty much simultaneously. You may have to ask the judge to order that.


  10. #10
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    ORRRRRR

    The OP could speak with her legal representative (you know...her attorney) about this matter and get information based on knowledge of the actual situation. Far be it from us to second-guess what someone's attorney would say, right?


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zigner View Post
    ORRRRRR

    The OP could speak with her legal representative (you know...her attorney) about this matter and get information based on knowledge of the actual situation. Far be it from us to second-guess what someone's attorney would say, right?
    You are flipping nuts! Why on EARTH would OP consult her attorney when she can ask the strangers on the internet?????????


  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taxing Matters View Post
    I disagree with that take on it. The husband wants to keep the homes. He doesn’t have to keep them; he could sell them, pay off the mortgages, and then they split up the assets and go their separate ways. That would be quite fair and would leave the OP debt free to begin her financial rebuild and buy a house later. But if he wants to keep the houses, why shouldn’t then then refinance them to get the mortgages in his name only? The mortgage will not benefit the OP if she no longer retains ownership in either one of the homes.
    Reasonably so . . . EXCEPT for this fact, which you seem to have overlooked:

    Tootysmom: "I really do not want him to sell the Colorado house."


  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bambi01 View Post
    You are flipping nuts! Why on EARTH would OP consult her attorney when she can ask the strangers on the internet?????????
    You are right - I don't know what came over me!


  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zigner View Post
    You are right - I don't know what came over me!
    I think it's the lack of Spring. Making us all nuts....


  15. #15
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    OP ...it is unrealistic to expect full economic division getting what you compute as your share plus being able to control for nostalgia reasons what Ex does with the property ..you cannot have both...and your attorney willat best spin your cost meter if you insist they seek unlikely ...me, I suggest you work with you attorney for the most favorable economical division to you and make a clean division/ separation...if that means selling the properties so be it ...just be wary of letting somebody be an occupant and being able to drag out or sabotage a sale..I'm sure your attorney can address same.


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