i've been waitingand waiting ang waiting

[jamie_bechke]

What is the name of your state? indiana

i've been seperated from my husband for almost a year and i have a lawyer state appointed and nobody can seem to find my husband he has lost his visitation rights to our two girls their 3 and 4 and he doesn't pay support he's been ordered to my question is how can i hurry this divorce along and how can i raise his support it's been ordered at 50.00 dollars a week

 

[MaggieK]

To divorce a spouse you cannot locate all you have to do is show a "good faith" effort to locate him. There are many acceptable routes. Online services will charge, usually not a lot, but I have used some reputable ones who do a good job. The point is not so much to find him but to prove that you made a diligent effort. Contact his relatives, if you know any. Having his SS#, DOB, etc. is helpful. It would be wonderful if you did find him, that would help to obtain child support through a court ordered income deduction. You do need his permission to divorce him. Good luck! Not legal advice...life advice.

 

[jamie_bechke]

i have his ss# and his dob i've asked his mother and she keeps telling me that he lives with his new girlfriend about15 miles from here my lawyer said something about putting an ad in the paper but how long will that take he won;t show up in court because he's wanted by the law

 

[VeronicaGia]

Yes, you can post an ad in the local paper of his last known address.

If he's not paying support now, do you think he'll pay it if you get it raised?

 

[jamie_bechke]

one more question he's lost his visitation through the court to our two little girls is there any way that when we do get a divorce and he does his time in jail and gets his visitation back can i get supervised visits aven just for a little while until the girls get used to him again there 3 and 4 and it's already been 4 monthes since they have seen him they hardly remember who he is now let alone a year from now

 

[MaggieK]

You can request supervised visitation given the circumstances.

 

[jamie_bechke]

thank you now if i can just get my lawyer to do something for me is it possible to have supervised visitation just until the girls get used to him again or unyil he has a stable place to live

 

[MaggieK]

Lets say you hire person to tend your lawn each week and they either do a crappy job, or dont show up or sometimes leave tools lying around after they leave. Would you keep them on the job, hoping they may do it right eventually? I think not. Why do people think they have to hang on to attorneys who dont work for their employer, YOU???! Fire the *******, get another low life attorney or seek the assistance of a paralegal or DO IT YOURSELF! Call your clerk of court, family division, ask if they have divorce packets, go buy one, read it, read it, read it, fill it out, in the space for visitation say just what you did here, sign it before a notary, take it back to the clerk, pay the 200.00 or so bucks to file, after your states stipulated waiting period is over, get a hearing date, get your divorce...done. I say all this not to be rude, but to tell you that no person in this world, much less this board, can tell you what a judge will decide in regard to your children and their fathers right to see them. You can ASK for supervised visitation in your petition. Or better yet ...ask the attorney thats "working for you" to be sure that is in the petition or an amended addition to the petition and then look at the petition and see if it is there.

 

[MaggieK]

The "now if I can just get my lawyer to do something for me"..hit me hard. What have you done to make that lawyer know that you mean business? Have you called his/her office every day? Have you faxed your list of questions and then followed up with a phone call to make an appointment to get answers? The only way you can get a lawyer to do something for you is for you to be the squeaky wheel. Squeak until he/she has to oil you. Squeak until you get what you want. Geez, I sure do hope you arent paying this joker. Your file will stay on the bottom of the heap until YOU bring it to the top priority basket. Get some backbone and get it done.

 

[jamie_bechke]

he's my attorney through legal aid and i just called him yesterday and i was told that ther is gonna be an ad put in the paper however they do that but i've already filed the papers like a year ago i can't get my soon to be ex in court he won't ever show up because he's wanted by the law for several charges inc battery and a dirty drug test from probation can i use those things in court against him aslo i'm not saying that i don't want my girls to have any thing to do with their dad but he's making no effort on his part to do what he needs to do to be able to see them so why should i make it easy for him he thinks that he can keep messing up overmand over again and i'm just gonna be there to hand him my girls every time well he's wrong he won't pay support because i'm with the person that i'm with and he's told me more than several times that he wants to give up his rights can he do that just give up his rights???

 

[MaggieK]

The ad should have been put in the paper like a year ago. Call them Monday and ask if the ad was put in and what paper is it in. If its not in the paper...why not? It does not matter if this is a Legal Aid attorney...this attorney is working for YOU! (or is suppose to be anyway) Why in the world would you care if this loser ever sees or talks to your children again? I would make NO effort to encourage visitation, but I sure would bud get those girls child support. It's theirs! Dont cheat them out of it. If he wants visitation, let him go to court to get it. Visitation is not a right..its a priviledge, abuse it and lose it. Good Luck.

 

[MaggieK]

Sorry missed your last question. No a parent cannot give up rights to a minor child. If that were the case, deadbeat parents would be beating down the doors to the courthouse to give up children, rather than have to pay a dime in child support. A stepparent or other individual can adopt a minor child and the biological parent loses all parental rights and obligations. And just a point here, it does not matter who you are living with or what you are doing, he does not have an option on paying child support, its the law! It has nothing to do with visitation either. Whether or not he ever lays eyes on those children again, he is obligated to pay child support.

 

[jamie_bechke]

so i can tell the court that i don't want him to have any visitation and let him fight for it????thats good if thats what you saying i wasn't really looking forward to letting the girls go with him again anyhow thank you. how would somebody else go about adopting them???? just asking

 

[MaggieK]

YOU dont tell the court anything. You have an attorney. I would ask the attorney to handle the no visitation issue. If you decide to remarry, and your spouse wishes to adopt your children from your previous marriage, accepting all privledges and responsibilities for those children as if they were his own biological children, he can petition the court for a stepparent adoption.

 

[jamie_bechke]

i can really have his visitation taken away from him do you have any idea how much better off my children will be without that man?????
what if he comes back and fights me for visitation will the things that he's done in his past like drug charges battery charges and the fact that he's been in prison will that make it so he doesn't have visitation still ????????? also he's taken my girls in the past and just decided to not give them back will that help me???? thank you jamie