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  1. #1
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    What should I do in this situation?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California


    Last edited by Highertruth; 02-09-2018 at 09:58 PM.
  2. #2
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    For some reason it didnít post above...

    My ex moved our joint savings to another account, then abruptly divorced me (2016) leaving me no time to find a lawyer. In our divorce, it lists that our account is to be divided equally. That account he left at zero so that I wouldn't get anything. I ended up getting a lawyer after the fact but shortly after doing so, my ex contacted me telling me that we would be able to work it out without lawyers and it would be best if we both dropped our lawyers and for me to send him financials to prove what was my half, etc., around 18K. I was given zero spousal support knowing I didn't have a job and a child to raise not his. I have emails, text messages that we have exchanged but nothing has ever been resolved. When I try to bring it up to start the process of being paid back he acts like nothing ever happened. What kind of lawyer would I need and would emails and texts of him saying that he would come to an agreement and pay help my issue?


  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highertruth View Post
    My ex moved our joint savings to another account, then abruptly divorced me (2016) leaving me no time to find a lawyer. In our divorce, it lists that our account is to be divided equally. That account he left at zero so that I wouldn't get anything. I ended up getting a lawyer after the fact but shortly after doing so, my ex contacted me telling me that we would be able to work it out without lawyers and it would be best if we both dropped our lawyers and for me to send him financials to prove what was my half, etc., around 18K. I was given zero spousal support knowing I didn't have a job and a child to raise not his. I have emails, text messages that we have exchanged but nothing has ever been resolved. When I try to bring it up to start the process of being paid back he acts like nothing ever happened. What kind of lawyer would I need and would emails and texts of him saying that he would come to an agreement and pay help my issue?
    Your divorce decree states what you can get. If you disagreed with the divorce decree, then you should have appealed. If you did not appeal, then you are out of luck. The child you are raising is not his. Why is that other parent not paying child support? Why can't you support yourself? Why weren't you working? You are basically out of luck.


    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  4. #4
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    Laymans view ....if there was an error ( deliberate & foul as it might seem) and you failed to catch it in time to file an appeal,......its over .

    WHat did the attorney you addressed back then say ?

    You didn't list your state . ( I doubt it matter for this problem )


  5. #5
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    Well apparently final is not always final...and it varies by state , which you didn't mention.....some states apparently do allow one to reopen a case if there are assets discovered after the order was final ...and perhaps a bit better window in a community property state .
    Review your facts with counsel in your state
    I'm going to guess the costs are such that it's an unrewarding quest to pursue ...but get a pro to comment.

    I'm a bit skeptical about your version of the "facts"

    ...


  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Your divorce decree states what you can get. If you disagreed with the divorce decree, then you should have appealed. If you did not appeal, then you are out of luck. The child you are raising is not his. Why is that other parent not paying child support? Why can't you support yourself? Why weren't you working? You are basically out of luck.

    I WAS in the process of appealing (with a lawyer) but ended our legal relationship (dropped lawyers) after my ex coerced me into doing so because he said we would be able to work it out amongst ourselves without lawyers involved to save money, knowing I didn't have the money in the first place to appeal the decree. He said that if I didn't want to drop lawyers that is fine but he would just keep dragging it out, costing more money I don't have.

    My child has nothing to do with any of this, I was just making a point that I have a child I am raising and he doesn't. Reason for me not having a job at the time - I was stay at home mom.

    But I have proof in text messages and emails about why he moved money before the divorce and I would get it later.. about dropping lawyers and why we should.. ect.


  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by HRZ View Post
    Well apparently final is not always final...and it varies by state , which you didn't mention.....some states apparently do allow one to reopen a case if there are assets discovered after the order was final ...and perhaps a bit better window in a community property state .
    Review your facts with counsel in your state
    I'm going to guess the costs are such that it's an unrewarding quest to pursue ...but get a pro to comment.

    I'm a bit skeptical about your version of the "facts"

    ...
    Sorry about that... State is California.

    I was in the process of appealing (with a lawyer 2016) but ended our legal relationship (dropped lawyers) after my ex coerced me into doing so because he said we would be able to work it out amongst ourselves without lawyers involved to save money, knowing I didn't have the money in the first place to appeal the decree. He said that if I didn't want to drop lawyers that is fine but he would just keep dragging it out, costing more money I don't have.

    I have proof in text messages and emails about why he moved money before the divorce and I would get it later.. about dropping lawyers and why we should.. ect. I'm not sure if those will help my case or not.


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highertruth View Post
    Sorry about that... State is California.

    I was in the process of appealing (with a lawyer 2016) but ended our legal relationship (dropped lawyers) after my ex coerced me into doing so because he said we would be able to work it out amongst ourselves without lawyers involved to save money, knowing I didn't have the money in the first place to appeal the decree. He said that if I didn't want to drop lawyers that is fine but he would just keep dragging it out, costing more money I don't have.

    I have proof in text messages and emails about why he moved money before the divorce and I would get it later.. about dropping lawyers and why we should.. ect. I'm not sure if those will help my case or not.
    Nope. That actually hurts your situation because you should have gone through with the appeal. And then you did NOTHING and it is now two years later. MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.


    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highertruth View Post
    I WAS in the process of appealing (with a lawyer) but ended our legal relationship (dropped lawyers) after my ex coerced me into doing so because he said we would be able to work it out amongst ourselves without lawyers involved to save money, knowing I didn't have the money in the first place to appeal the decree. He said that if I didn't want to drop lawyers that is fine but he would just keep dragging it out, costing more money I don't have.

    My child has nothing to do with any of this, I was just making a point that I have a child I am raising and he doesn't. Reason for me not having a job at the time - I was stay at home mom.

    But I have proof in text messages and emails about why he moved money before the divorce and I would get it later.. about dropping lawyers and why we should.. ect.
    For future reference: never take legal advice from the opposing party, especially if they've already proved themselves untrustworthy.

    Captain Obvious observation: if he were going to be fair voluntarily, he would not have emptied the account in the first place.


  10. #10
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    Had he hid it--you might have a ghost of a chance to reopen it in a community property state --with good counsel ...but its wasn't hidden..you knew it was merely moved ...not even a ghost of a chance in this laymans book on your budget or lack of same....


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highertruth View Post
    ...then abruptly divorced me (2016) leaving me no time to find a lawyer.
    Divorces do not happen overnight. You had plenty of time to get an attorney.


  12. #12
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highertruth View Post
    My ex moved our joint savings to another account, then abruptly divorced me (2016) leaving me no time to find a lawyer. In our divorce, it lists that our account is to be divided equally. That account he left at zero so that I wouldn't get anything. I ended up getting a lawyer after the fact but shortly after doing so, my ex contacted me telling me that we would be able to work it out without lawyers and it would be best if we both dropped our lawyers and for me to send him financials to prove what was my half, etc., around 18K. I was given zero spousal support knowing I didn't have a job and a child to raise not his. I have emails, text messages that we have exchanged but nothing has ever been resolved. When I try to bring it up to start the process of being paid back he acts like nothing ever happened. What kind of lawyer would I need and would emails and texts of him saying that he would come to an agreement and pay help my issue?
    You chose to be a SAHM. It is never a good idea to be dependent on another for your basic needs. Why should you deserve spousal support after a divorce just because you choose not to contribute financially to the family? If your ex did not adopt your child, he has no obligation to support that child. Have you considered that it was your failure to contribute financially to the marriage and the support of your - not his - child that cause the breakdown of the marriage? He certainly could/should have resented supporting a child that was not his and, wrongly, decided that what he kept was reimbursement for what he expended.

    You need a family law attorney.If you are not receiving child support from your child's father, initiate proceedings against him. Your child deserves to be supported by BOTH parents.

    By the way, many parents work and raise more than one child without physical, emotional and financial support from the other parent due to death or disability as well as divorce.


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