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Bbell1087

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

I reported my boyfriend of assault on a female in November and we r set to have court in Febuary. What is a legal reason to not show up? We habe both been served and I don't want to press charges. We are still together and It would be detrimental to our business as well as our relationship if I show up. Can I plea the 5th? I wasn't innocent in the fight and me retelling the incident truthfully can be self incriminating. Please help me.
 


CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

I reported my boyfriend of assault on a female in November and we r set to have court in Febuary. What is a legal reason to not show up? We habe both been served and I don't want to press charges. We are still together and It would be detrimental to our business as well as our relationship if I show up. Can I plea the 5th? I wasn't innocent in the fight and me retelling the incident truthfully can be self incriminating. Please help me.

So what you're telling us is that you were involved in a fight with your boyfriend, and that turning up in court and telling the truth is going to damage your relationship further? You DO understand the implications of that ... right?


The very second you reported the assault, you lost control of what happens after that. The State does not need you to in order to prosecute the offender. Have you actually spoken to the prosecutor yet?
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

I reported my boyfriend of assault on a female in November and we r set to have court in Febuary. What is a legal reason to not show up? We habe both been served and I don't want to press charges. We are still together and It would be detrimental to our business as well as our relationship if I show up. Can I plea the 5th? I wasn't innocent in the fight and me retelling the incident truthfully can be self incriminating. Please help me.
It's not you pressing charges. It's the state pressing charges. Are you afraid if you show up you'll end up getting another beating from your boyfriend? Or did you call the cops on him out of spitefulness and fabricated a story of domestic violence to punish him for the fight you two had? The only legal reason you can present to the prosecutor will be telling the truth instead of lying. If that results in you being charged with something, that's pretty much what you deserve. If telling the truth points to your boyfriend being a woman beater then well, he'll get what he deserves. :D
 

commentator

Senior Member
As you've been told, there's really no recourse if the prosecutor chooses to move ahead with the case. I would strongly advise you to discuss this with them, and do not be surprised if they tell you that if you elect not to show up or testify, you will be charged and prosecuted as well as your boyfriend.

Many years ago, it was common for a domestic abuser to threaten to hurt the victim again and worse if they did not drop the charges. Very few domestic violence charges ever got filed. People died. Abuse continued. As it is very likely to do in your situation. Probably, this will happen again, this will escalate, so what if this time it was partly your fault or you hit him first or whatever. You have compromised your original decision in the interest of your financial gain and besides, you've made up now.

Eventually this became a situation in which the choice to have charges dropped has been removed from the control of the victim. Once the police are involved, the victim cannot now easily say, "Ooops, changed my mind, it's okay now, forget it, sorry I bothered you!" That call would have to be made by the prosecutor.
 
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