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Being threatened with nude photos, tracking my location, hacking my accounts. HELP

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arp2014

Junior Member
I live in Ohio. I have an ex boyfriend who is threatening to post nude pictures and inappropriate videos (some were sent by me, others he took with and without my knowledge) of me online if I don't get back with him. He is clinically bipolar and has tracked my location, hacked my icloud and read my messages - messaged people from my accounts. He has logged into my social media accounts, changed my passwords, messaged my friends. Before we broke up he would send me snap chats with guns to his head or driving 90 mph threatening to kill himself if I left him, I have screenshots. I don't know what to do. I have blocked him on social media, changed all my passwords (he is still getting in some how), I am scared to block his number becasue I am in nursing school and him posting those photos could prevent me from being licensed for being inappropriate. We were together for almost 3 years before I finally had the courage to leave. I am 21 and he is 26. What are my rights? Can I stop him? What should I do??
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I live in Ohio. I have an ex boyfriend who is threatening to post nude pictures and inappropriate videos (some were sent by me, others he took with and without my knowledge) of me online if I don't get back with him. He is clinically bipolar and has tracked my location, hacked my icloud and read my messages - messaged people from my accounts. He has logged into my social media accounts, changed my passwords, messaged my friends. Before we broke up he would send me snap chats with guns to his head or driving 90 mph threatening to kill himself if I left him, I have screenshots. I don't know what to do. I have blocked him on social media, changed all my passwords (he is still getting in some how), I am scared to block his number becasue I am in nursing school and him posting those photos could prevent me from being licensed for being inappropriate. We were together for almost 3 years before I finally had the courage to leave. I am 21 and he is 26. What are my rights? Can I stop him? What should I do??
File for a protection order. Report the illegal hacking and the "revenge porn" threats to the police.
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
Ohio has no "revenge porn" but most of his actions would be covered under http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/2917.21 Telecommunications harassment. As well as several other laws.

You should contact the police. This doesn't mean that he won't release the photos but it will provide consequences.

I truly doubt that photos posted by an ex-boyfriend in such a way would stop you from being licences as a nurse. Especially if you have police reports and/or proof of his criminal conviction for releasing them.
 

xylene

Senior Member
I live in Ohio. I have an ex boyfriend who is threatening to post nude pictures and inappropriate videos (some were sent by me, others he took with and without my knowledge) of me online if I don't get back with him. He is clinically bipolar and has tracked my location, hacked my icloud and read my messages - messaged people from my accounts. He has logged into my social media accounts, changed my passwords, messaged my friends. Before we broke up he would send me snap chats with guns to his head or driving 90 mph threatening to kill himself if I left him, I have screenshots. I don't know what to do. I have blocked him on social media, changed all my passwords (he is still getting in some how), I am scared to block his number becasue I am in nursing school and him posting those photos could prevent me from being licensed for being inappropriate.
Listen, you are going to be ok. I know this is a scary thing, but you have to go to the police. You need to get over the fear and the shame and the part of you that still care about him and report this. If you have the means a lawyer can help.

I know you are afraid of the consequences of to your career. This is the 21st century. Even is this wasn't part of some hrribly abusive crime against you it would not be the end of your career. There are nurses who literally did and still DO commercial pornography by their own choice. This is going to be ok. You are not going to be called out over some videos you and your boyfriend made. And revenge porn is not going to ruin your carreer. He is using that fear to control you. Stop letting him control you.

You may want to contact the help desk of these social media sites an have them lock or at least engage 2 factor authorization. You may want to take a social media break for a few months. The big sites like Facebook have resoruces to help in stalker situations.

Consider to talk to a woman's support group. You need to have a plan in case he escalates to violence. I know that is scary but please think about it. Make sure people you trust are checking in with you. Make sure friends and family know your plan and have 'signals' if you are in danger and need to make them aware discretely. Please tell people you know and trust about what is going on - even if you are scared or ashamed about the sex videos. Especial because of that, because an abuser can weaponize shame.

Make no mistake, bipolar, suicidal or whatever, this guy is a MAJOR ABUSER.
 

arp2014

Junior Member
I tried

I went to the court house and asked for advice. They were extrmemly rude, would not tell me anything, and basically said I was on my own. I am scared for my safety and they do not care.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I live in Ohio. I have an ex boyfriend who is threatening to post nude pictures and inappropriate videos (some were sent by me, others he took with and without my knowledge) of me online if I don't get back with him. He is clinically bipolar and has tracked my location, hacked my icloud and read my messages - messaged people from my accounts. He has logged into my social media accounts, changed my passwords, messaged my friends. Before we broke up he would send me snap chats with guns to his head or driving 90 mph threatening to kill himself if I left him, I have screenshots. I don't know what to do. I have blocked him on social media, changed all my passwords (he is still getting in some how), I am scared to block his number becasue I am in nursing school and him posting those photos could prevent me from being licensed for being inappropriate. We were together for almost 3 years before I finally had the courage to leave. I am 21 and he is 26. What are my rights? Can I stop him? What should I do??
Go to the police...like yesterday. Then get a restraining order.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I went to the court house and asked for advice. They were extrmemly rude, would not tell me anything, and basically said I was on my own. I am scared for my safety and they do not care.
Why the court house? Why not the police?
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
I went to the court house and asked for advice. They were extrmemly rude, would not tell me anything, and basically said I was on my own. I am scared for my safety and they do not care.
The courthouse is full of a lot of people that would have nothing to do with it.

He is committing a crime. You report that to the police.
 

xylene

Senior Member
The court house often does a poor job of supporting people. They don't give advise.

You may need a lawyer to help you file a restraining order.

You need to see the police
 

arp2014

Junior Member
No help

I went to the police and they told me to go to the courthouse to file a restraining order. I went there, they brushed me off and sent me on my way, I cannot afford to hire a lawyer and they wouldnt not tell me any other information about getting legal aid or anything. They were extrmemly rude. I am hurt, I am scared, and I am frustrated and basically according to the justice system I have to wait for him to actually cause me harm because threats arent important to them.
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
As mentioned earlier the courthouse many offices and most have nothing to do with what you need. Did you tell the police you would like to report a crime. It is their job to take such a report. At the end of that process you can ask who you need to talk to at the courthouse about filing for a restraining order.
 

arp2014

Junior Member
Okay

So I need to go back to the police department, basically say "I need to report a crime" instead of asking what to do, then make a police report, and then go back to the court house again and they will actually speak to me? I am just confused what I do with the police report because they wouldn't even talk to me today.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Check out the following page for more information:

https://www.supremecourt.ohio.gov/JCS/domesticViolence/


I believe that it was suggest above that you seek out a local shelter. They will also be able to assist you.
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
So I need to go back to the police department, basically say "I need to report a crime" instead of asking what to do, then make a police report, and then go back to the court house again and they will actually speak to me? I am just confused what I do with the police report because they wouldn't even talk to me today.
Since you haven't been clear here it isn't surprising what you actually did at the police or the courthouse didn't get the result you want.

You need to make it clear to the police you want to report a crime. If the first officer tries to blow you off ask nicely to speak to his superior. This report will likely be taken by a uniformed officer. When the report is complete he will have at least as much information as we have. Ask him who you need to speak to about getting a restraining order. If he doesn't provide this there is a good chance an investigator will be contacting you. When one does ask him the same question and then talk to that person.

As has been mentioned more than once you could also contact an abused women shelter or help service.
 

xylene

Senior Member
Part of your problem is that sometimes the police don't understand online situations and may give bad advice like "well don't go online"
 

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