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Claim of TRO, have not been served

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Vesper549

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Four weeks ago a girlfriend of a year asked for space out of no where. Of course, being shocked and hurt by this we continued to talk back and forth over the past month. After awhile she had enough and told me to stop communicating. I did not, which was wrong. Then I get an email saying she was at the courthouse filing a TRO. A day later she text my brother saying she has a TRO, signed by a judge and the court date is in two weeks, and I should be receiving something soon. There has been no contact since.

My question is, a week later, I have not been served and the supposed court date is next week. What happens if I am never served and the hearing happens without my knowledge. I am prepared to hire an attorney and appear, but I have no idea when or where. Does service need to happen in order for this to move forward, if it is indeed true?
 


quincy

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Four weeks ago a girlfriend of a year asked for space out of no where. Of course, being shocked and hurt by this we continued to talk back and forth over the past month. After awhile she had enough and told me to stop communicating. I did not, which was wrong. Then I get an email saying she was at the courthouse filing a TRO. A day later she text my brother saying she has a TRO, signed by a judge and the court date is in two weeks, and I should be receiving something soon. There has been no contact since.

My question is, a week later, I have not been served and the supposed court date is next week. What happens if I am never served and the hearing happens without my knowledge. I am prepared to hire an attorney and appear, but I have no idea when or where. Does service need to happen in order for this to move forward, if it is indeed true?
You should contact the court. In the meantime, you should act as if a restraining order is in place (e.g., do not contact the girlfriend in any way, even to respond to messages she might send you).

When served with the TRO, follow all terms of the order carefully. You will be smart to have an attorney with you at the hearing on the order.

Good luck.
 

Vesper549

Junior Member
I know that, and certainly will not contact. I have no idea if she actually filed a TRO, or is just rattling my cage. My question was, if I am never served and the date passes without my knowledge, what implications does that have on me.
 

quincy

Senior Member
I know that, and certainly will not contact. I have no idea if she actually filed a TRO, or is just rattling my cage. My question was, if I am never served and the date passes without my knowledge, what implications does that have on me.
A possible outcome if you miss a scheduled hearing (regardless of the reason for missing it) is that the temporary order becomes a permanent order.

That is one very important reason why you want to find out if a temporary order has been issued.

You still might be served with the TRO. It is also possible your girlfriend is simply "rattling your cage" and no TRO was issued.
 

Vesper549

Junior Member
Doesn’t there have to be proof of service on a court order? How could one be expected to show up for court when they have no notice of where to go or when to be there?

I do appreciate your replies, greatly.
 

quincy

Senior Member
Doesn’t there have to be proof of service on a court order? How could one be expected to show up for court when they have no notice of where to go or when to be there?

I do appreciate your replies, greatly.
Yes. There should be proof of service. That is why you want to contact the court.
 

adjusterjack

Senior Member
Doesn’t there have to be proof of service on a court order? How could one be expected to show up for court when they have no notice of where to go or when to be there?

I do appreciate your replies, greatly.
The court is probably closed today and may be closed tomorrow but you can go online to the court's website and see if there is a case search feature. Put in your name and see what comes up.

The trouble with restraining orders is that, no matter what you say at the hearing, the judge is likely to keep it in force as a precaution.

So, I agree with the other response, that you treat this situation as if the RO is already in effect and NEVER contact her again no matter how tempted you are to explain yourself and try to smooth things over.
 

Vesper549

Junior Member
Again, there has been no contact since I was threatened with a TRO. What I am asking is if I am never served, and there truly is an order against me and a hearing happens without me present, without proof of service, what happens.

It’s been a week, I understand these hearing usually take place within 10 days.
 

quincy

Senior Member
Again, there has been no contact since I was threatened with a TRO. What I am asking is if I am never served, and there truly is an order against me and a hearing happens without me present, without proof of service, what happens.

It’s been a week, I understand these hearing usually take place within 10 days.
I told you what can happen. The temporary order can become a permanent order. But it is probably unlikely that a TRO is issued and you are NOT personally served.

It is possible that your girlfriend applied for a TRO and did not fill out the application properly. That could cause a delay.
 

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