• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Forced imprisonment?

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Status
Not open for further replies.

Roseknight13

Junior Member
My girlfriend lives in Portland Oregon. She is 18 years old. We purchased a bus ticket for her to visit me for an indefinite period of time. Her family, however, does not approve of her "leaving the nest" as she will be the first to move out of state.

They have openly threatened to do all they can to ensure she is unable to make it to the bus. When confronted with information of it being illegal, as she is a consenting adult and making this move of her own will, they did not change their stance.

Legally, what would this be called?
What are the ramifications of breaking this law?
How would we best approach this situation?

Thank you all.
 


CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
My girlfriend lives in Portland Oregon. She is 18 years old. We purchased a bus ticket for her to visit me for an indefinite period of time. Her family, however, does not approve of her "leaving the nest" as she will be the first to move out of state.

They have openly threatened to do all they can to ensure she is unable to make it to the bus. When confronted with information of it being illegal, as she is a consenting adult and making this move of her own will, they did not change their stance.

Legally, what would this be called?
What are the ramifications of breaking this law?
How would we best approach this situation?

Thank you all.

Assuming your girlfriend is not still in high school, and there are no details you've left out (disability, perhaps?), then no - they cannot stop her from leaving. However they're under no obligation to assist her in actually getting to the bus station either.

But I'll also say this. Your wording suggests that this isn't just a bus ride to visit you - it's her actually moving out to be with you. Spare a thought for her parents. That's a pretty heavy stance you're taking on behalf of their child. Y'know?

Have you met her parents? Do you think doing (again?) so might ease some of their trepidation?
 

Roseknight13

Junior Member
Assuming your girlfriend is not still in high school, and there are no details you've left out (disability, perhaps?), then no - they cannot stop her from leaving. However they're under no obligation to assist her in actually getting to the bus station either.

But I'll also say this. Your wording suggests that this isn't just a bus ride to visit you - it's her actually moving out to be with you. Spare a thought for her parents. That's a pretty heavy stance you're taking on behalf of their child. Y'know?

Have you met her parents? Do you think doing (again?) so might ease some of their trepidation?
She is no longer in high school, nor have any disabilities.

The visit may lead to her staying, but we are not deciding that right away.

As I'm not in the same state, meeting her parents in person is difficult. However, I have offered every member of her family the opportunity to communicate their concerns with me. Only her sister has done so. The sister is the one placing the threat of making her unable to get to the bus. She claims to have parental support in doing so.
Her brother has responded to the situation positively and is assisting us the best he can.

We are not relying on any member to deliver her to the bus station. She is getting there through a neutral party: Uber. However, we are concerned of the family refusing her access to the vehicle.

I have suggested requesting law enforcement to be present to ensure that are unable to do so, but we are hoping to avoid this event becoming a legal matter.


To give back story of her parents, to answer the question "would they actually attempt to stop her?"
Her mother is controlling, more so than common. Especially when she is drunk, which is 70% of the time.
Her father is prone to impulsive actions when angered, which may result in more ludicrous attempts in keeping her from the bus.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
Given the number of dangerous situations that youngsters get into when they follow the tiny floating hearts of puppy love without first heeding their common sense, her parents are absolutely justified in their reticence. Once she is away from her friends and family, she could be subject to the control of another person nearly absolutely. Since they do not know you (and this is nigh on impossible online or by phone), that only contributes to their concern. I have seen far to many scenarios like this one turn sour for the girl who left home to casually dismiss the concerns of the parents. You may be a good and decent guy ... or, you may be a controlling perv twice this girl's age. We don't know. Neither do her parents. THAT is most likely why they are concerned.

Ultimately, they cannot legally prevent her from leaving if she is an adult and not legally a dependent in some way. If she IS forcibly detained at the home, the police can intervene. It is unlikely that the police will respond for a standby as she walks to the door, however. Of course, she may not be permitted to take anything with her aside from the clothes on her back, so she could come to you with nothing. Literally.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
She is no longer in high school, nor have any disabilities.

The visit may lead to her staying, but we are not deciding that right away.

As I'm not in the same state, meeting her parents in person is difficult. However, I have offered every member of her family the opportunity to communicate their concerns with me. Only her sister has done so. The sister is the one placing the threat of making her unable to get to the bus. She claims to have parental support in doing so.
Her brother has responded to the situation positively and is assisting us the best he can.

We are not relying on any member to deliver her to the bus station. She is getting there through a neutral party: Uber. However, we are concerned of the family refusing her access to the vehicle.

I have suggested requesting law enforcement to be present to ensure that are unable to do so, but we are hoping to avoid this event becoming a legal matter.


To give back story of her parents, to answer the question "would they actually attempt to stop her?"
Her mother is controlling, more so than common. Especially when she is drunk, which is 70% of the time.
Her father is prone to impulsive actions when angered, which may result in more ludicrous attempts in keeping her from the bus.
How did you meet this girl? Online? Have you ever met in person?
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
She is no longer in high school, nor have any disabilities.

The visit may lead to her staying, but we are not deciding that right away.

As I'm not in the same state, meeting her parents in person is difficult
. However, I have offered every member of her family the opportunity to communicate their concerns with me. Only her sister has done so. The sister is the one placing the threat of making her unable to get to the bus. She claims to have parental support in doing so.
Her brother has responded to the situation positively and is assisting us the best he can.

We are not relying on any member to deliver her to the bus station. She is getting there through a neutral party: Uber. However, we are concerned of the family refusing her access to the vehicle.

I have suggested requesting law enforcement to be present to ensure that are unable to do so, but we are hoping to avoid this event becoming a legal matter.


To give back story of her parents, to answer the question "would they actually attempt to stop her?"
Her mother is controlling, more so than common. Especially when she is drunk, which is 70% of the time.
Her father is prone to impulsive actions when angered, which may result in more ludicrous attempts in keeping her from the bus.
Are there no buses where you live? No trains? Cars? That's an excuse (and, quite frankly, a lousy excuse at that). Surely if you genuinely cared about this girl, and her wellbeing, you would have made every effort to meet with her parents before she hops on a bus to "move out of state" with someone they haven't yet met themselves.

I will also remind you of what you stated:

Her family, however, does not approve of her "leaving the nest" as she will be the first to move out of state.
If the decision has not already been made with regards to visiting versus moving, why would her parents be so concerned about her "leaving the nest"? Whoever could have given them that impression?

These are of course largely rhetorical questions. I think we all know what's going on here.

(unfortunately)
 

CJane

Senior Member
Lord. Have YOU met HER in person? I gotta tell you, having kids that are in the process of leaving the nest (one to move halfway across the country to live with her boyfriend), this sounds SUPER shady. And, while it's true that they can't physically restrain her from getting on the bus, they can certainly refuse to allow her to take belongings that are technically theirs, or allow her access to money that's not obviously hers, etc.

And really. My daughter's boyfriend didn't meet us for over a year because we moved from MO to WA, at about the same time he deployed to Afghanistan, but you know what he did as soon as he was done over there? He bought a plane ticket to visit her out here so we could all meet and hang out. He's gone with my daughter to my hometown and met my entire extended family, and his Mom recently drove out here to visit us. THAT is how one develops healthy relationships with potential future in-laws, not by hiding behind "Gosh, it's just super hard to visit".

Her parents ALSO might feel that it was a little less hinky if it wasn't an open ended ticket. I mean, if this girl can't even decide whether this is a vacation or a moving out, you can't see why her parents might be filled with trepidation about the whole thing? REALLY?
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
(sarcasm blue light ON) And of course, there's never been a teenager in the world who ever exaggerated anything for effect. (sarcasm blue light OFF)

Nor has there ever been a teenager in the world (this time no sarcasm) who hasn't thought their parents too controlling.

As you have not met them yourself, I suggest you not take her claims too literally.
 

latigo

Senior Member
My girlfriend lives in Portland Oregon. She is 18 years old. We purchased a bus ticket for her to visit me for an indefinite period of time. Her family, however, does not approve of her "leaving the nest" as she will be the first to move out of state.

They have openly threatened to do all they can to ensure she is unable to make it to the bus. When confronted with information of it being illegal, as she is a consenting adult and making this move of her own will, they did not change their stance.

Legally, what would this be called?
What are the ramifications of breaking this law?
How would we best approach this situation?

Thank you all.
You want to know what "forced imprisonment" would be called? Its called a "REDUNDANCY "! As in New Yorker Truman Capote's: "Living and dying in LA is redundant."

Would you also like to know what "parents putting foot down" is called? It is called "exercising good sense". And as far the ticket goes, it goes one-way, right?
 

thatbrother

Junior Member
God, am I glad I found this guys post.

let me introduce myself, I am "her brother" and I do NOT approve of this in the slightest. but also know theres nothing legally I can do to stop this.
So that's lie #1.

2. my sister did not leave due to family reasons. But is choosing to leave on Monday. Let me give you more info on this guy that he decided to leave out.

My sister started to talk to this guy when she was 17. But did not tell us until she was 18, when there was nothing we could do about it. He also forgot to tell you guys he is 30 years old, 29 years old when they started talking...which makes him a creep and a predator to say the least.

He has been told to come meet her(if he can afford a one way plane ticket for her to see him, why can't he come here?) we would give him a chance until he broke our trust. He refused to do so.(red flag much?).

both of my parents drink, but my mom is not drunk 70 percent of the time. but she does battle alcoholism.

My parents are not strict, and maybe the is the issue. they are wayy too relaxed with my sister.

my sister has no intentions of coming back, she is going there to move. and maybe come back in a few months.

so let's stop trying to hide ****, be a man and tell the whole truth.


-her older brother.


oh PS. this guy has a sealed record.... another red flag.
 

quincy

Senior Member
God, am I glad I found this guys post.

let me introduce myself, I am "her brother" and I do NOT approve of this in the slightest. but also know theres nothing legally I can do to stop this.
So that's lie #1.

2. my sister did not leave due to family reasons. But is choosing to leave on Monday. Let me give you more info on this guy that he decided to leave out.

My sister started to talk to this guy when she was 17. But did not tell us until she was 18, when there was nothing we could do about it. He also forgot to tell you guys he is 30 years old, 29 years old when they started talking...which makes him a creep and a predator to say the least.

He has been told to come meet her(if he can afford a one way plane ticket for her to see him, why can't he come here?) we would give him a chance until he broke our trust. He refused to do so.(red flag much?).

both of my parents drink, but my mom is not drunk 70 percent of the time. but she does battle alcoholism.

My parents are not strict, and maybe the is the issue. they are wayy too relaxed with my sister.

my sister has no intentions of coming back, she is going there to move. and maybe come back in a few months.

so let's stop trying to hide ****, be a man and tell the whole truth.


-her older brother.


oh PS. this guy has a sealed record.... another red flag.
Interesting.

Sealed records are sealed (not accessible to the public) for a reason and the reason is often that the individual was a juvenile at the time an offense was committed.

Good luck to your sister. I hope she returns to your state soon or, at least, is happy with the choice she made.
 
Last edited:

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
Interestingly, gender analyzer software pegs the writer of the brother's post as female.

:cool:
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
It has always seemed to me, as a parent on both sides of the aisle, that if there is a young lady in whom a gentleman has a sincere and honorable interest, it is incumbent upon him to properly introduce himself to her parents. Color me old-fashioned.

Of course, if the "lady" is not, or perhaps he is no gentleman, then I suppose it is all moot. I wonder which is the case here?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top