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Friend has 8 year old daughter around drug using boyfriend just released from prison

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Calliebells

Junior Member
Hi everyone. Before I begin, I just want to go ahead and thank you for taking the time to read my post. My friend, who we'll call Katie, has an eight year old daughter (we'll call her Maddy) who is constantly around Katie's loser boyfriend. Katie has been dating her boyfriend (we'll call him Mark) on and off for three years. Mark only uses Katie for money and her car and constantly cheats on her because he knows she will forgive him. In the middle of November, Mark was released from an almost two year prison sentence. Keep in mind, this is not his first visit to jail or prison. While he is serving time, he uses Katie because she stupidly sends him money every week and takes care of him while he is locked up. I'm going to go ahead and be completely honest in this post- she was also sending suboxone strips into the prison by "melting" them to envelopes with random cards inside. Maddy, her daughter, can't stand Mark because she hears the way that Mark talks to Katie. Constantly calling her names, belittling her, and overall treating her terribly. Katie has serious self confidence issues and "buys her boyfriends" for lack of a better term.

Mark doesn't care about Katie at all and is only "dating" her because she is constantly handing him money and letting him drive her car (without a license) to go around and do who knows what. Now, I know that Katie is dumb for staying with Mark but that's not the point of this post. I, along with many other people, have tried telling her that he doesn't care about her one bit but she refuses to listen because she always says that he has "changed." Katie is so blind to the fact that Mark is a complete loser and couldn't possibly care less about her.

Now that I've given some background, this is where I have a problem. I love Katie's daughter like she's my own. Maddy is a very smart and sweet little girl but she knows way too much for her age. Katie takes pain pills regularly but she still functions just fine- you'd never be able to tell. Not saying that makes it okay, because it absolutely doesn't. Now that Mark is out of prison, he has gone back to his old ways of buying, using, and selling pills, marijuana, etc. Katie does whatever Mark tells her to do. I've never considered Katie a bad mother until now and I really hate to say that. A few weeks ago, Maddy and I were talking and she casually mentioned something about xanax. An eight year old should NOT under any circumstances know what xanax is. Katie has convinced herself that her daughter loves Mark and wants him to be her dad- which she doesn't at all. Maddy doesn't like Mark in the slightest, as I said above.

Mark doesn't like me because he knows that I tell Katie what kind of person that he is so he told her not to talk to me- and she listened. She will do whatever he says no matter what. Though I am worried about my friend, I'm worried about her daughter, Maddy, more than anything. Mark hangs out with some dangerous people. He is constantly high on pain pills, marijuana, xanax, you name it. He is always in possession of some sort of pill and he is always hanging around bad people. I know that this situation is not any of my business but I am genuinely worried about Maddy, especially being only eight years old. I have tried talking to Katie but she absolutely will not listen to anything that I say regarding Mark. As terrible as this is to say, if it came down to it, I truly believe she would choose Mark over her daughter.

Is there anything I can do in this situation? I have always been one to mind my own business but I am truly worried about Maddy being in the predicament that she is in. Mark was released from prison only a few weeks ago and he is already back on an even worse path than he was before. Maddy's dad is a drug addict and isn't really in her life so that isn't an option. Katie's parents are both addicts as well. I just want the best for this little girl and as much as I used to respect my friend as a mother, I no longer do. What steps, if any, should I take here? Thank you for reading and I appreciate any replies.
 


CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
Hi everyone. Before I begin, I just want to go ahead and thank you for taking the time to read my post. My friend, who we'll call Katie, has an eight year old daughter (we'll call her Maddy) who is constantly around Katie's loser boyfriend. Katie has been dating her boyfriend (we'll call him Mark) on and off for three years. Mark only uses Katie for money and her car and constantly cheats on her because he knows she will forgive him. In the middle of November, Mark was released from an almost two year prison sentence. Keep in mind, this is not his first visit to jail or prison. While he is serving time, he uses Katie because she stupidly sends him money every week and takes care of him while he is locked up. I'm going to go ahead and be completely honest in this post- she was also sending suboxone strips into the prison by "melting" them to envelopes with random cards inside. Maddy, her daughter, can't stand Mark because she hears the way that Mark talks to Katie. Constantly calling her names, belittling her, and overall treating her terribly. Katie has serious self confidence issues and "buys her boyfriends" for lack of a better term.

Mark doesn't care about Katie at all and is only "dating" her because she is constantly handing him money and letting him drive her car (without a license) to go around and do who knows what. Now, I know that Katie is dumb for staying with Mark but that's not the point of this post. I, along with many other people, have tried telling her that he doesn't care about her one bit but she refuses to listen because she always says that he has "changed." Katie is so blind to the fact that Mark is a complete loser and couldn't possibly care less about her.

Now that I've given some background, this is where I have a problem. I love Katie's daughter like she's my own. Maddy is a very smart and sweet little girl but she knows way too much for her age. Katie takes pain pills regularly but she still functions just fine- you'd never be able to tell. Not saying that makes it okay, because it absolutely doesn't. Now that Mark is out of prison, he has gone back to his old ways of buying, using, and selling pills, marijuana, etc. Katie does whatever Mark tells her to do. I've never considered Katie a bad mother until now and I really hate to say that. A few weeks ago, Maddy and I were talking and she casually mentioned something about xanax. An eight year old should NOT under any circumstances know what xanax is. Katie has convinced herself that her daughter loves Mark and wants him to be her dad- which she doesn't at all. Maddy doesn't like Mark in the slightest, as I said above.

Mark doesn't like me because he knows that I tell Katie what kind of person that he is so he told her not to talk to me- and she listened. She will do whatever he says no matter what. Though I am worried about my friend, I'm worried about her daughter, Maddy, more than anything. Mark hangs out with some dangerous people. He is constantly high on pain pills, marijuana, xanax, you name it. He is always in possession of some sort of pill and he is always hanging around bad people. I know that this situation is not any of my business but I am genuinely worried about Maddy, especially being only eight years old. I have tried talking to Katie but she absolutely will not listen to anything that I say regarding Mark. As terrible as this is to say, if it came down to it, I truly believe she would choose Mark over her daughter.

Is there anything I can do in this situation? I have always been one to mind my own business but I am truly worried about Maddy being in the predicament that she is in. Mark was released from prison only a few weeks ago and he is already back on an even worse path than he was before. Maddy's dad is a drug addict and isn't really in her life so that isn't an option. Katie's parents are both addicts as well. I just want the best for this little girl and as much as I used to respect my friend as a mother, I no longer do. What steps, if any, should I take here? Thank you for reading and I appreciate any replies.

Call child protective services (or the equivalent in your location) if you believe the child is in danger.

Edit: Be prepared to be told that you're WAY over-involved in their lives and that you should mind your own business. Also, expect to suddenly find yourself left out of any and all business involving the child and her parents.
 

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