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How to report girl held against her will by her in-laws and being emotionally abused

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dragontrick

Junior Member
This is Philadelphia

Someone I know is being held against her will inside the home of her in-laws. She isn't allowed to ever leave. She sleeps on a piece of foam in the decrepit basement and has to cook and clean all day. She has three kids and has never left the house to buy them clothes, or take them somewhere. The mother-in-law always does the clothes picking and taking the kids out. The mother-in-law severely emotionally abuses her and harasses her. She is restricted from answering the phone, calling her family, and they block her from learning English so that she can't even read what her kids are doing in school or make any outside progress. They block her from English so that she stays dependent upon them and unable to get a job or get a drivers license, even though she wants both. Her husband refused to speak to her for months on his mother's orders, and then one night basically raped her, and she had a miscarriage and she bled the fetus out over the next few days, she wasn't even allowed to go to the doctor. They don't let her go to the fridge and get herself an apple to eat but then she has to clean 13 people's laundry and cooking. I tried to confront the mother-in-law and she burst out in crocodile tears and denied everything and has distanced herself from me entirely, so I can't go over there anymore. She had figured out that it was the girl who told me everything and has made her life 100 times worse as punishment for it, she's pitted everyone in the house against her and they all severely harass her now. There's 13 people in a 2 bedroom house and I don't know if there's zoning laws about that in PA but that may be a way to get law enforcement involved. This is a very outdated culture and divorce won't be an option. So what the girl wants is to be kicked out of ther house WITH her husband and children so they can live their own life away from the mother-in-law and her abusive family-in-law. Is there a way for me to orchestrate this and report it in such a way that her kids won't be taken away from her, but she is able to get out of that house? Also in a way where it doesn't seem like she ratted them out. Since she can't speak English, she isn't prepared to earn for herself until she learns English, so losing the custody of the kids is a risk. Is there something the kids' school teachers or counselors can do? The kids are 3,4 and 5. All of her basic human civil rights have been taken away from her and I don't know how to report it?
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
This is Philadelphia

Someone I know is being held against her will inside the home of her in-laws. She isn't allowed to ever leave. She sleeps on a piece of foam in the decrepit basement and has to cook and clean all day. She has three kids and has never left the house to buy them clothes, or take them somewhere. The mother-in-law always does the clothes picking and taking the kids out. The mother-in-law severely emotionally abuses her and harasses her. She is restricted from answering the phone, calling her family, and they block her from learning English so that she can't even read what her kids are doing in school or make any outside progress. They block her from English so that she stays dependent upon them and unable to get a job or get a drivers license, even though she wants both. Her husband refused to speak to her for months on his mother's orders, and then one night basically raped her, and she had a miscarriage and she bled the fetus out over the next few days, she wasn't even allowed to go to the doctor. They don't let her go to the fridge and get herself an apple to eat but then she has to clean 13 people's laundry and cooking. I tried to confront the mother-in-law and she burst out in crocodile tears and denied everything and has distanced herself from me entirely, so I can't go over there anymore. She had figured out that it was the girl who told me everything and has made her life 100 times worse as punishment for it, she's pitted everyone in the house against her and they all severely harass her now. There's 13 people in a 2 bedroom house and I don't know if there's zoning laws about that in PA but that may be a way to get law enforcement involved. This is a very outdated culture and divorce won't be an option. So what the girl wants is to be kicked out of ther house WITH her husband and children so they can live their own life away from the mother-in-law and her abusive family-in-law. Is there a way for me to orchestrate this and report it in such a way that her kids won't be taken away from her, but she is able to get out of that house? Also in a way where it doesn't seem like she ratted them out. Since she can't speak English, she isn't prepared to earn for herself until she learns English, so losing the custody of the kids is a risk. Is there something the kids' school teachers or counselors can do? The kids are 3,4 and 5. All of her basic human civil rights have been taken away from her and I don't know how to report it?
There is no way to do this that isn't going to make life complicated for her in one way or another. The police really need to be called if she is being held against her will, but that may cause her to temporarily lose her children. CPS needs to be called if the children are in an unsafe environment, which again, may cause everyone to temporarily lose the children.

A homeless shelter could also help her figure out an exit strategy. However I do not see how you could get her to one to have them help her.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
This is Philadelphia

Someone I know is being held against her will inside the home of her in-laws. She isn't allowed to ever leave. She sleeps on a piece of foam in the decrepit basement and has to cook and clean all day. She has three kids and has never left the house to buy them clothes, or take them somewhere. The mother-in-law always does the clothes picking and taking the kids out. The mother-in-law severely emotionally abuses her and harasses her. She is restricted from answering the phone, calling her family, and they block her from learning English so that she can't even read what her kids are doing in school or make any outside progress. They block her from English so that she stays dependent upon them and unable to get a job or get a drivers license, even though she wants both. Her husband refused to speak to her for months on his mother's orders, and then one night basically raped her, and she had a miscarriage and she bled the fetus out over the next few days, she wasn't even allowed to go to the doctor. They don't let her go to the fridge and get herself an apple to eat but then she has to clean 13 people's laundry and cooking. I tried to confront the mother-in-law and she burst out in crocodile tears and denied everything and has distanced herself from me entirely, so I can't go over there anymore. She had figured out that it was the girl who told me everything and has made her life 100 times worse as punishment for it, she's pitted everyone in the house against her and they all severely harass her now. There's 13 people in a 2 bedroom house and I don't know if there's zoning laws about that in PA but that may be a way to get law enforcement involved. This is a very outdated culture and divorce won't be an option. So what the girl wants is to be kicked out of ther house WITH her husband and children so they can live their own life away from the mother-in-law and her abusive family-in-law. Is there a way for me to orchestrate this and report it in such a way that her kids won't be taken away from her, but she is able to get out of that house? Also in a way where it doesn't seem like she ratted them out. Since she can't speak English, she isn't prepared to earn for herself until she learns English, so losing the custody of the kids is a risk. Is there something the kids' school teachers or counselors can do? The kids are 3,4 and 5. All of her basic human civil rights have been taken away from her and I don't know how to report it?
I also believe that you should report this to the police, but I do have to ask you this: For a person who is basically shielded from all outside contact, you sure seem to have a lot of specific and intimate details about her situation...why is that?
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I also believe that you should report this to the police, but I do have to ask you this: For a person who is basically shielded from all outside contact, you sure seem to have a lot of specific and intimate details about her situation...why is that?
I agree...
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
I also believe that you should report this to the police, but I do have to ask you this: For a person who is basically shielded from all outside contact, you sure seem to have a lot of specific and intimate details about her situation...why is that?
Needs to be answered, for sure.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
I'll take, "I've never actually met her but we've talked a lot on line" for $200, Alex.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I'll take, "I've never actually met her but we've talked a lot on line" for $200, Alex.
She did say the following:

I tried to confront the mother-in-law and she burst out in crocodile tears and denied everything and has distanced herself from me entirely, so I can't go over there anymore.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
Color me cynical, but I'm taking this entire story with a whole shaker of salt.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
Either the OP is trolling us, or someone is trolling the OP. There are more holes in this story than in a piece of Swiss cheese.
 

quincy

Senior Member
Here is the Philadelphia Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-866-723-3014

The lines are manned 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and bilingual counselors are available.

And here is a link to the PDVH, where local resources (like homeless shelters) can be located for those in need: http://www.womenagainstabuse.org/index.php/get-help/PDVH

After the horrors in California, it is getting hard to tell what is fiction.
 
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dragontrick

Junior Member
Either the OP is trolling us, or someone is trolling the OP. There are more holes in this story than in a piece of Swiss cheese.


Woah woah I'm not trolling anything! I wish I was because then this wouldn't be real. Unfortunately it is. The girl has a children's digital tablet that the mother-in-laws family bought for them. She managed to download a wifi based chatting and phone call app. She sends me an emoji sticker if she needs to talk and is completely alone without anyone around her. We speak for no more than 3 minutes at a time and she whispers everything to me. Then she deletes her call log. If I need to reach her I send her an inconspicuous photo of a cute baby cartoon or something so it looks like I'm playing with the kids, if anyone was to catch it. Since she deletes every trace of contact with me on the app they haven't caught on. She calls my aunt and me. Those are the only outside contacts she has and even at that, it's whispered and rushed and panicky and then she'll suddenly hang up mid sentence if she thinks someone's coming.. and call days later. I feel horrible and I've called the cops many times to have an anonymous welfare check and the first cop was so lazy and basically did nothing, and now it seems like I'm out to get them because I've called so many times I'm the fishy one to the cops. Pff. I don't want to say all of what I said here to the cops because then the mother-in-law will know it's her who ratted them out and called the cops on them, which will wreak havoc on her life even more. Not to mention it will jeopardize her kids, and having her kids taken from her is worse to her than enduring life like this, so anything I say has to be impactful but not too impactful. It's really delicate. She just wants someone to force her and her husband and kids out of the house so they can live in their own place away from the abusive in-laws. Does anyone think the school can do anything?
 

quincy

Senior Member
Woah woah I'm not trolling anything! I wish I was because then this wouldn't be real. Unfortunately it is. The girl has a children's digital tablet that the mother-in-laws family bought for them. She managed to download a wifi based chatting and phone call app. She sends me an emoji sticker if she needs to talk and is completely alone without anyone around her. We speak for no more than 3 minutes at a time and she whispers everything to me. Then she deletes her call log. If I need to reach her I send her an inconspicuous photo of a cute baby cartoon or something so it looks like I'm playing with the kids, if anyone was to catch it. Since she deletes every trace of contact with me on the app they haven't caught on. She calls my aunt and me. Those are the only outside contacts she has and even at that, it's whispered and rushed and panicky and then she'll suddenly hang up mid sentence if she thinks someone's coming.. and call days later. I feel horrible and I've called the cops many times to have an anonymous welfare check and the first cop was so lazy and basically did nothing, and now it seems like I'm out to get them because I've called so many times I'm the fishy one to the cops. Pff. I don't want to say all of what I said here to the cops because then the mother-in-law will know it's her who ratted them out and called the cops on them, which will wreak havoc on her life even more. Not to mention it will jeopardize her kids, and having her kids taken from her is worse to her than enduring life like this, so anything I say has to be impactful but not too impactful. It's really delicate. She just wants someone to force her and her husband and kids out of the house so they can live in their own place away from the abusive in-laws. Does anyone think the school can do anything?

In one of your whispered conversations with the woman, give her the domestic violence hotline number provided above - or tell her to call the police herself.

A legal forum is not going to help her.
 

dragontrick

Junior Member
I also believe that you should report this to the police, but I do have to ask you this: For a person who is basically shielded from all outside contact, you sure seem to have a lot of specific and intimate details about her situation...why is that?
The girl has a children's digital tablet that the mother-in-laws family bought for them. She managed to download a wifi based chatting and phone call app. She sends me an emoji sticker if she needs to talk and is completely alone without anyone around her. We speak for no more than 3 minutes at a time and she whispers everything to me. Then she deletes her call log. Calls me few days or hours later depending on who's left the house. And repeat, deletes log. If I need to reach her I send her an inconspicuous photo of a cute baby cartoon or something so it looks like I'm playing with the kids, if anyone was to catch it. Since she deletes every trace of contact with me on the app they haven't caught on. Me and my aunt are the only people she has any outside contact with.
 
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