Violation of Consent?

[AndiInAtlanta]

What the consent order does not provide is immediate arrest on violation of the order - although the police should still be called if ex contacts Andi and/or Andi fears for her safety.

I can understand the reasoning behind the decision to go with a consent order but it does make moving on more difficult.

I stupidly thought getting him help was the best option. I'm a fool.

 

[Zigner]

I stupidly thought getting him help was the best option. I'm a fool.

Has he been bothering you since the order was put in place?

 

[AndiInAtlanta]

Has he been bothering you since the order was put in place?

In a roundabout way. Of all the 12 step program meetings that he could go to in the Atlanta area, he has chosen one that meets directly next door to where I work. This is a new job I only started six weeks ago, and I never told him about it or gave him the address. So I don’t know how he knows where I work. It could just be a coincidence, but I doubt it.

 

[AndiInAtlanta]

The OP's misguided concern for her ex did not serve her well in the relationship and a lawyer took advantage of that.

The fact that he fancies himself part of a phony antebellum south is just poop icing on a garbage cake.

Just to clear one thing up. The judge is actually female. And she is an activist judge. So it makes no sense, in retrospect, as to why she would put me in a position where I would still be involved with this guy for the next year.

 

[Zigner]

Just to clear one thing up. The judge is actually female. And she is an activist judge. So it makes no sense, in retrospect, as to why she would put me in a position where I would still be involved with this guy for the next year.

Because you and he agreed to it...

 

[quincy]

I stupidly thought getting him help was the best option. I'm a fool.

I don't see your decision as foolish at all. You are far safer if your ex is getting treatment and being monitored than you would be with a standard order of protection.

 

[xylene]

Much safer to not be able to move on with your life.

 

[HRZ]

Lest anyone think you acquiesced to his self ending of the court ordered 3 months of therapy Id get whatever filed with court darn soon ..and keep it factual

 

[LdiJ]

I don't see your decision as foolish at all. You are far safer if your ex is getting treatment and being monitored than you would be with a standard order of protection.

I pretty much agree with you on this one. It definitely is safer.

 

[quincy]

Much safer to not be able to move on with your life.

That is certainly a drawback to the consent order and its terms as written.

But I am not sure looking over your shoulder to make sure you are not being stalked allows you any more freedom to move on with your life. And, with a protection order as opposed to the consent order, your stalker is not being monitored and is not getting help. He remains a powder keg ready to blow. He is (arguably perhaps) more dangerous.

The only thing that a protection order offers that the consent order doesn't is an immediate arrest if the order is violated.

 

[AndiInAtlanta]

The Safe Families office responded to my email and said the same thing all of you have told me. If I feel that the consent has been violated, I should file a Contempt of Court motion. It really is my best (and only) course of action right now, as difficult as it will be to go back to court and see him again.

I didn't sleep last night because I was up thinking about this and the first drug test. I used a number generator to select the date of the test and it came up with today. When I sent the email to the attorney, he responded that he would tell my ex to submit to testing if that was what I "really wanted to do." This is the man who drafted the consent (and added the drug test and my role in it) and he's acting like this is something I asked for on a whim.

Sorry to ramble, but I am stressed. Plus, my family and friends are tired of hearing me talk about this.

 

[Zigner]

The Safe Families office responded to my email and said the same thing all of you have told me. If I feel that the consent has been violated, I should file a Contempt of Court motion. It really is my best (and only) course of action right now, as difficult as it will be to go back to court and see him again.

I didn't sleep last night because I was up thinking about this and the first drug test. I used a number generator to select the date of the test and it came up with today. When I sent the email to the attorney, he responded that he would tell my ex to submit to testing if that was what I "really wanted to do." This is the man who drafted the consent (and added the drug test and my role in it) and he's acting like this is something I asked for on a whim.

Sorry to ramble, but I am stressed. Plus, my family and friends are tired of hearing me talk about this.

Please keep in mind that his attorney is NOT on your side. He is paid to be on HIS side. His job is not to make things easier for you. If you keep that in perspective, it might be easier to understand why he treats you this way. It's not personal, it's his job.

 

[AndiInAtlanta]

Please keep in mind that his attorney is NOT on your side. He is paid to be on HIS side. His job is not to make things easier for you. If you keep that in perspective, it might be easier to understand why he treats you this way. It's not personal, it's his job.

I understand that much, but he is just so d*mned unpleasant. His local reputation is awful and he has numerous complaints about him online- all from females. Says a lot that this is the attorney for my ex's mother and she has now enlisted him for her only child.

 

[quincy]

I understand that much, but he is just so d*mned unpleasant. His local reputation is awful and he has numerous complaints about him online- all from females. Says a lot that this is the attorney for my ex's mother and she has now enlisted him for her only child.

You might want to contact a domestic violence organization and ask about having a victim's advocate handle communications for you (or with you).

 

[Zigner]

I understand that much, but he is just so d*mned unpleasant. His local reputation is awful and he has numerous complaints about him online- all from females. Says a lot that this is the attorney for my ex's mother and she has now enlisted him for her only child.

His local reputation is awful with his adversaries. I suppose the clients that he successfully represents absolutely love him.

Again, please remember that the attorney's behavior is not personal. He's represents your adversary (and enemy is one synonym for adversary). Don't ever expect that he'll be pleasant with you. That's not to say that he should violate laws in his treatment of you, but being snide and rude to you doesn't actually violate the law.