Contempt order...

[ProSeDadinMD]

What is the name of your state? MD

How long can you wait after the violation of the custody order, to file for contempt(assuming that you have proof of the violation)?

 

[moburkes]

What is the violation? Generally, you have to have several in order not to make the judge mad by wasting his time.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

What is the violation? Generally, you have to have several in order not to make the judge mad by wasting his time.

...She .... took my daughter out of state for approximately 35 days over the summer with the consequent loss of at least 12(i'd need to check my calander at home to be exact on that) days of visitation for me, after having come to a verbal agreement allowing reciprocal visitation, which ....she .... later changed her mind about.

 

[Zephyr]

and if it is something especially bad- waiting much time at all isn't good cause the judge will think, if it wasn't important enough for you to do something immediately then what are you bothering him for.....so it depends on the nature of the contempt as well

 

[Zephyr]

oh I see- since she isn't upholding her end of the agreement, you are going to try to get her for contempt of when she had the child- with your agreement- over summer.....that's a long shot...especially if any of the arrangements were handled in writing/email......

 

[Silverplum]

And MOST especially if the agreement was VERBAL. You can't prove it. And I don't believe you can take her to court for contempt for not following a non-court-approved change to the schedule.

 

[moburkes]

And MOST especially if the agreement was VERBAL. You can't prove it. And I don't believe you can take her to court for contempt for not following a non-court-approved change to the schedule.

That's MY question. How is she in contempt of COURT over a verbal agreement? Since the COURT didn't order it, there is no contempt.

 

[CJane]

Yeah, sorry. I'm with everyone else.

While a REALLY GOOD attorney could probably make contempt charges stick in this instance, you agreed (albeit verbally) to the trip to NM... just because mom didn't uphold her end of the bargain doesn't negate your agreement.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Well, I have an email from ....her .... stating that she took my daughter to New Mexico for the month of July as vacation, as well as denying me any extra visitation in return. Our original agreement for July was verbal, and a give a little/ get a little deal. Once she got, ….she …. decided that she didn’t want to give.

Also, there is no provision in our order for vacation either way, so my thought is that she is denying/has denied me time that is legally mine.

 

[moburkes]

Well, I have an email from ....her .... stating that she took my daughter to New Mexico for the month of July as vacation, as well as denying me any extra visitation in return. Our original agreement for July was verbal, and a give a little/ get a little deal. Once she got, ….she …. decided that she didn’t want to give.

Also, there is no provision in our order for vacation either way, so my thought is that she is denying/has denied me time that is legally mine.

If there is no provision, what are you basing your CONTEMPT on?

 

[Zephyr]

if that is your position- your time to file would have been while she was withholding the child

 

[CJane]

Well, I have an email from ....her .... stating that she took my daughter to New Mexico for the month of July as vacation, as well as denying me any extra visitation in return. Our original agreement for July was verbal, and a give a little/ get a little deal. Once she got, ….she …. decided that she didn’t want to give.

Also, there is no provision in our order for vacation either way, so my thought is that she is denying/has denied me time that is legally mine.

I get what you're thinking, but let me share a little real life story and what the judge told me.

Many moons ago, I swapped the youngest's Bday w/my ex - let him keep her - in exchange for me having her and her sister the following Saturday, which was part of his weekend.

Ex happily agreed, and when Sat came, called me and said "Sorry, changed my mind."

When it was brought up in court, the judge said "This is why you should never make verbal agreements outside the court order."

Now, that's not to say that the judge wouldn't take it seriously IF there were several instances of you giving up time to mom to accomodate plans with the child, and her not reciprocating - but not as contempt - only as evidence of a pattern of behavior.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

If there is no provision, what are you basing your CONTEMPT on?

Also, there is no provision in our order for vacation either way, so my thought is that she is denying/has denied me time that is legally mine. I have visitation 3 nights every other weekend, as well as Wednesdays, all overnights which were never allowed to be made up.

I do realize that I may be grasping at straws

 

[Zephyr]

I get what you're thinking, but let me share a little real life story and what the judge told me.

Many moons ago, I swapped the youngest's Bday w/my ex - let him keep her - in exchange for me having her and her sister the following Saturday, which was part of his weekend.

Ex happily agreed, and when Sat came, called me and said "Sorry, changed my mind."

When it was brought up in court, the judge said "This is why you should never make verbal agreements outside the court order."

Now, that's not to say that the judge wouldn't take it seriously IF there were several instances of you giving up time to mom to accomodate plans with the child, and her not reciprocating - but not as contempt - only as evidence of a pattern of behavior.

I agree with Sugarplum I like the snarky CJane better-

 

[Zephyr]

Also, there is no provision in our order for vacation either way, so my thought is that she is denying/has denied me time that is legally mine. I have visitation 3 nights every other weekend, as well as Wednesdays, all overnights which were never allowed to be made up.

I do realize that I may be grasping at straws

there really is no MAY about it- I see what you're sayin, and what you want to do, been there myself.....doesn't work, better to focus those energies and resources elsewhere