Ohiogal
Queen Bee
What is the name of your state? Any and all
1) The first big rule is you see the line above this one -- the one that states -- WHAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR STATE? Guess what. That is a question. It needs answered. Laws differ by state. We need that information to help you.
2) Don't lie. Don't mislead. Don't pretend you are someone else in situation. Be straight about it. Don't post from the other perspective. Don't pretend you are mom or dad when you are a stepparent. Don't pretend you are dad when you are mom. Don't pretend you are the obligor when you are the obligee. Don't do it. That is called LYING. Most first graders know that. And it won't do anything but piss off the people who can help you.
3) Don't use "we" if you are referring to you and someone else and one of those two is not the parent (as in the actual mom or dad). NOPE. Not gonna do it. The child has two parents. THE STEPPARENT is a legal stranger now and forever. Deal with it. If you are just the bedwarmer, girlfriend/boyfriend, significant other, sex toy, yep you are legal stranger. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and any other family relation are legal strangers.
4)Do NOT use the word BIO or even shorten it to BM or BF unless this is an adoption situation. END OF STORY. If you use it in referring to the other parent, prepare to be stomped.
5) The other parent has rights. EVEN IF. Don't care. YOU SLEPT WITH THE other parent. You screwed/made love/knocked boots/did the horizontal mambo/whatever, impregnated or became pregnant, the baby was born and paternity was established so therefore DEAL.
6) Oh wait, paternity was or was not established? YEAH tell us that. IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION. OH and that does not mean "signing" the birth certificate. I dont know if any state actually has you sign the actual birth certificate. Most places have you sign a birth certificate application and if you are not married an AOP for daddy to be daddy.
7) OH and really go to court. Get a court order. Don't "be nice" because there are too many posters on here without one that are whining because things are not going their way. OH yeah and that court ORDER is NOT a suggestion. Not. AT. ALL. It is an ORDER. Pretend you are in the military. If a commanding officer gives you an order and you dont' follow it? Oh boy. The judge is the commanding officer in this instance. If you think the order is illegal or inappropriate then appeal. But don't ask if you can just not follow it whatever the reason because the answer will be YOU MUST FOLLOW IT. See. I just answered about fifteen posts that are currently on the board. If you ask about following a court order the answer is YES.
8) PUT WHITE SPACE IN YOUR POSTS. Yes I know I re-edited this to add white space because entering at the end of every paragraph didn't do it. And I needed reminded by LD. But I thought it would have white space due to the entering. So reread your posts AFTER it posts to make sure it makes sense and you do have white space.
9) DO NOT SHARE USERNAMES. I don't care if you are married, living together, soulmates, the parent, whoever. ONLY ONE PERSON PER USERNAME. Then refer to all other rules. Okay?
10) Before diving in to post something, read the rules. Read the TOS.
11) DO NOT decide that getting snarky with senior members or more senior than you members is the way to go. IF you are here any length of time you will earn our respect (hopefully) and you will find that we senior members know our stuff. We disagree at times but we don't get rude, arrogant and name calling. If you however as a new member decide to get rude with us, all bets are off.
12) Brief, concise and too the point DOES NOT MEAN HARSH, MEAN, CRUEL. This is not a site for fluffing your ego or telling you what you want to hear. We will not give you a shoulder to cry on (unless of course you accomplish number 11 and earn our respect) and we will not be sensitive about your feelings. I am one of the biggest PITAs on here and I will tell you outright, I know my stuff. I don't have time to sugarcoat. Neither do any of the other seniors who know their stuff. We have lives, jobs and do this not for the pay. WE ARE VOLUNTEERS.
13) DO NOT DOUBLEPOST. You like your problem? Nice> But we do not need to see it repeated twelve times. We don't care that much.
14) DO NOT HIJACK. If you have a question dealing with your own situation, start ONE thread (note rule number 13 please) about it and ask your questions there. Don't explain your situation on someone else's thread. It is rude, distracting and may result in the OP (original poster) not getting the information they need.
15) DO NOT NECROPOST. DO not add to threads that are more than three days old UNLESS you are the OP and are posting related questions or an update. If it has not been posted to in that long, chances are that the OP is not coming back and, as a newbie, you have nothing to add except your own situation which has been covered in rule number 14.
16) Give relevant information only -- If paternity is established, if there are ANY court orders existing, what the situation is, and your questions. Do not tell us what happened 12 years ago if you were divorced last year. WE DO NOT CARE. Tell us what has happened since the last court order, or if no court order, what it is you are expecting. Ask questions that are specific.
17) Use proper English. txt spk is not 4 us 2 try 2 get. we dont care 2 figure it out and we h8 it. If you are old enough to be here asking legal questions, then you are old enough to at least attempt proper English.
18) Do not delete your thread when you are done. We post because we hope that others might learn from these threads. Others read these threads other than you. If you do delete your thread, be aware that you will find yourself getting very little, if any, help from knowledgeable members again.
19) If you are a newbie, sit back and learn. DO NOT start giving advice unless you know the LAW in the OP's state. Don't state that you were in the EXACT SAME SITUATION and then follow that with the words but, however, except, only. No two situations are ever EXACTLY alike. And the devil is in the details when it comes to the law. Also, if you are from a different state, then your experiences are not applicable at all. State laws differ. This is a LAW site. Not a support site. And your attempts at support are not doing anything to deal with the LEGALITIES of the situation.
20) DO NOT POST IN ALL CAPS. See like what i just wrote. It is considered shouting and it is also rude. *Yeah well stick around and you will find out I am considered rude. But I don't want help, am not asking for help, and am here to give it. (Oh there are TWO different sets of rules -- one for the askers and one for the answerers in some situations. For the answerers you will learn them by the time you reach SR status -- or you won't reach senior status.)
21) Do not insult the ex with the child> Doesn't matter who they are. They are the parent of your (or your love's)child. It ranks up there with referring to them as BM or BF. Except this also applies to adoption threads.
22) Regarding lawyers-- you posted twenty minutes ago and now you suddenly at 9pm on a Sunday have found a lawyer to give you advice and tell you we are all wrong. yeah. You are NOT fooling anyone. You look like an idiot. WE also will call bull **** on people who post a problem, file a motion and get a hearing with outcome all in less than 24 hours. Not going to happen. Even ex parte motions take longer than that. IN other words, be truthful AND reasonable. Which goes back to rule 2. But okay. As an attorney myself, the SHORTEST time period was eight hours between filing and TEMPORARY EX PARTE ORDER and my client was NOT stopping to post. And it was a temporary ex parte order AND it was extenuating circumstances AND I, as client's attorney, had VERY GOOD luck. Not going to happen on a weekend. It was also more like four days from start to finish -- as in the incident to court to ex parte hearing to TEMPORARY order.
1) The first big rule is you see the line above this one -- the one that states -- WHAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR STATE? Guess what. That is a question. It needs answered. Laws differ by state. We need that information to help you.
2) Don't lie. Don't mislead. Don't pretend you are someone else in situation. Be straight about it. Don't post from the other perspective. Don't pretend you are mom or dad when you are a stepparent. Don't pretend you are dad when you are mom. Don't pretend you are the obligor when you are the obligee. Don't do it. That is called LYING. Most first graders know that. And it won't do anything but piss off the people who can help you.
3) Don't use "we" if you are referring to you and someone else and one of those two is not the parent (as in the actual mom or dad). NOPE. Not gonna do it. The child has two parents. THE STEPPARENT is a legal stranger now and forever. Deal with it. If you are just the bedwarmer, girlfriend/boyfriend, significant other, sex toy, yep you are legal stranger. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and any other family relation are legal strangers.
4)Do NOT use the word BIO or even shorten it to BM or BF unless this is an adoption situation. END OF STORY. If you use it in referring to the other parent, prepare to be stomped.
5) The other parent has rights. EVEN IF. Don't care. YOU SLEPT WITH THE other parent. You screwed/made love/knocked boots/did the horizontal mambo/whatever, impregnated or became pregnant, the baby was born and paternity was established so therefore DEAL.
6) Oh wait, paternity was or was not established? YEAH tell us that. IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION. OH and that does not mean "signing" the birth certificate. I dont know if any state actually has you sign the actual birth certificate. Most places have you sign a birth certificate application and if you are not married an AOP for daddy to be daddy.
7) OH and really go to court. Get a court order. Don't "be nice" because there are too many posters on here without one that are whining because things are not going their way. OH yeah and that court ORDER is NOT a suggestion. Not. AT. ALL. It is an ORDER. Pretend you are in the military. If a commanding officer gives you an order and you dont' follow it? Oh boy. The judge is the commanding officer in this instance. If you think the order is illegal or inappropriate then appeal. But don't ask if you can just not follow it whatever the reason because the answer will be YOU MUST FOLLOW IT. See. I just answered about fifteen posts that are currently on the board. If you ask about following a court order the answer is YES.
8) PUT WHITE SPACE IN YOUR POSTS. Yes I know I re-edited this to add white space because entering at the end of every paragraph didn't do it. And I needed reminded by LD. But I thought it would have white space due to the entering. So reread your posts AFTER it posts to make sure it makes sense and you do have white space.
9) DO NOT SHARE USERNAMES. I don't care if you are married, living together, soulmates, the parent, whoever. ONLY ONE PERSON PER USERNAME. Then refer to all other rules. Okay?
10) Before diving in to post something, read the rules. Read the TOS.
11) DO NOT decide that getting snarky with senior members or more senior than you members is the way to go. IF you are here any length of time you will earn our respect (hopefully) and you will find that we senior members know our stuff. We disagree at times but we don't get rude, arrogant and name calling. If you however as a new member decide to get rude with us, all bets are off.
12) Brief, concise and too the point DOES NOT MEAN HARSH, MEAN, CRUEL. This is not a site for fluffing your ego or telling you what you want to hear. We will not give you a shoulder to cry on (unless of course you accomplish number 11 and earn our respect) and we will not be sensitive about your feelings. I am one of the biggest PITAs on here and I will tell you outright, I know my stuff. I don't have time to sugarcoat. Neither do any of the other seniors who know their stuff. We have lives, jobs and do this not for the pay. WE ARE VOLUNTEERS.
13) DO NOT DOUBLEPOST. You like your problem? Nice> But we do not need to see it repeated twelve times. We don't care that much.
14) DO NOT HIJACK. If you have a question dealing with your own situation, start ONE thread (note rule number 13 please) about it and ask your questions there. Don't explain your situation on someone else's thread. It is rude, distracting and may result in the OP (original poster) not getting the information they need.
15) DO NOT NECROPOST. DO not add to threads that are more than three days old UNLESS you are the OP and are posting related questions or an update. If it has not been posted to in that long, chances are that the OP is not coming back and, as a newbie, you have nothing to add except your own situation which has been covered in rule number 14.
16) Give relevant information only -- If paternity is established, if there are ANY court orders existing, what the situation is, and your questions. Do not tell us what happened 12 years ago if you were divorced last year. WE DO NOT CARE. Tell us what has happened since the last court order, or if no court order, what it is you are expecting. Ask questions that are specific.
17) Use proper English. txt spk is not 4 us 2 try 2 get. we dont care 2 figure it out and we h8 it. If you are old enough to be here asking legal questions, then you are old enough to at least attempt proper English.
18) Do not delete your thread when you are done. We post because we hope that others might learn from these threads. Others read these threads other than you. If you do delete your thread, be aware that you will find yourself getting very little, if any, help from knowledgeable members again.
19) If you are a newbie, sit back and learn. DO NOT start giving advice unless you know the LAW in the OP's state. Don't state that you were in the EXACT SAME SITUATION and then follow that with the words but, however, except, only. No two situations are ever EXACTLY alike. And the devil is in the details when it comes to the law. Also, if you are from a different state, then your experiences are not applicable at all. State laws differ. This is a LAW site. Not a support site. And your attempts at support are not doing anything to deal with the LEGALITIES of the situation.
20) DO NOT POST IN ALL CAPS. See like what i just wrote. It is considered shouting and it is also rude. *Yeah well stick around and you will find out I am considered rude. But I don't want help, am not asking for help, and am here to give it. (Oh there are TWO different sets of rules -- one for the askers and one for the answerers in some situations. For the answerers you will learn them by the time you reach SR status -- or you won't reach senior status.)
21) Do not insult the ex with the child> Doesn't matter who they are. They are the parent of your (or your love's)child. It ranks up there with referring to them as BM or BF. Except this also applies to adoption threads.
22) Regarding lawyers-- you posted twenty minutes ago and now you suddenly at 9pm on a Sunday have found a lawyer to give you advice and tell you we are all wrong. yeah. You are NOT fooling anyone. You look like an idiot. WE also will call bull **** on people who post a problem, file a motion and get a hearing with outcome all in less than 24 hours. Not going to happen. Even ex parte motions take longer than that. IN other words, be truthful AND reasonable. Which goes back to rule 2. But okay. As an attorney myself, the SHORTEST time period was eight hours between filing and TEMPORARY EX PARTE ORDER and my client was NOT stopping to post. And it was a temporary ex parte order AND it was extenuating circumstances AND I, as client's attorney, had VERY GOOD luck. Not going to happen on a weekend. It was also more like four days from start to finish -- as in the incident to court to ex parte hearing to TEMPORARY order.
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