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Referred to as a Paramour by an attorney?

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funejack

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Missouri

My fiancé’s ex husband’s attorney is referring to me as her Paramour in legal documents being sent to her lawyer about custody modification for their children. Do I have any recourse? Is this just unethical or can this be considered slander? Thanks in advance!
 


Humusluvr

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Missouri

My fiancé’s ex husband’s attorney is referring to me as her Paramour in legal documents being sent to her lawyer about custody modification for their children. Do I have any recourse? Is this just unethical or can this be considered slander? Thanks in advance!
par·a·mour (pr-mr) KEY

NOUN:

A lover, especially one in an adulterous relationship.


Is that what you are?

It seems like the most proper term to describe "the adulterous other half."
 

funejack

Junior Member
Well of course I KNOW what Paramour means...uh I asked if being referred to as this is unethical or slanderous without proof. The ex suspected that she must have been with someone to leave such a catch as he was, I just happened to be the next after the ex.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Well of course I KNOW what Paramour means...uh I asked if being referred to as this is unethical or slanderous without proof. The ex suspected that she must have been with someone to leave such a catch as he was, I just happened to be the next after the ex.
ARE you her lover, adulterous or not (but be aware that if you were together before the judge signed on the dotted line, it's adulterous)? If so, then it's a synonym, not slander.
 

funejack

Junior Member
We were not, but I can't prove that either. I guess then this amounts to little more than normal acceptable professional behavior? Amazing that those terms can be thrown about without caution or ethics. WOW..
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
We were not, but I can't prove that either. I guess then this amounts to little more than normal acceptable professional behavior? Amazing that those terms can be thrown about without caution or ethics. WOW..
WERE not, ARE not, have NEVER been?
 

Perky

Senior Member
Since the documents are for custody modification, I suspect that the word is used to describe someone who is having an intimate relationship with the mother. I don't think it implies that the relationship was adulterous. If you are living with the mother, or spend the night while the children are present, then that is probably the reason for the custody action. If so, then the term is accurate, not slanderous.
 

las365

Senior Member
It seems to me that the real issue here is the best interest of the children, not whether you feel insulted. You might stop to think that this isn't about you.
 

angelmama

Member
Paramour is not slanderous

Paramour is a word that's commonly used especially in social services...I know in my work (CPS) paramour is used to describe anyone living with the child's parents in an unmarried intimate situation. Its not slanderous..it just means that you're living with Dad and that you're not married.
 
I too have seen this term very recently used in a case where the 2 are/were living together. It's just a term for "living together". Nothing shameful :)
 

funejack

Junior Member
Thanks to Grandma and to Angel...that helps clear things up.

And to Las365, putting the children first requires follow through on every aspect of this case. If they are trying to imply something that might paint a negative thought in a child’s mind, then it needs to be addressed. You might want to spend a bit of that negative energy on some self help.

Just sayin..
 

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