Holiday visitation

[Supermomma]

Hon, your child is two now, but next Christmas your child will be three or close to three, and while you might not be ready for it, there is no reason why a 3 year old cannot spend a week at a time with dad. At three, he or she will be old enough to understand what is going on.

If you want to make things better for your child, then work on dad spending some longer stretches of time with the child between now and next Christmas. Encourage dad to spend a few 4 or 5 days weekends with the child, so that a week won't such a big change for the child.

He will only be 18 months this xmas. I dont mind the longer days down the road. when dc turns 5, I am open to more extended schedule

 

[Bloopy]

He will only be 18 months this xmas. I dont mind the longer days down the road. when dc turns 5, I am open to more extended schedule

Why are you assuming you get to decide this?

If Kiddo needs to be with one parent 95% of the time and only “visit” the other how ‘bout Kiddo stay with Dad and visit you.

I’m sure once the child turns 5 Dad will allow you an extended schedule.

 

[Silverplum]

Why are you assuming you get to decide this?

If Kiddo needs to be with one parent 95% of the time and only “visit” the other how ‘bout Kiddo stay with Dad and visit you.

I’m sure once the child turns 5 Dad will allow you an extended schedule.

The Queen Of All Things has decided, Bloopy. Don't upset her! She'll shake her scepter at you! She'll frown at you! She won't let her Precious Baybee play patty-cake with you!

 

[Bloopy]

The Queen Of All Things has decided, Bloopy. Don't upset her! She'll shake her scepter at you! She'll frown at you! She won't let her Precious Baybee play patty-cake with you!

What?! SHE gets a scepter and not me?

I'll have to settle for a battle axe.

 

[profmum]

He will only be 18 months this xmas. I dont mind the longer days down the road. when dc turns 5, I am open to more extended schedule

I can assure that if this issue gets litigated Dad will be getting a "more extended" schedule long before kiddo turns 5!.. wrap your mind around it and start working with dad with a schedule you both can live with.

 

[Ohiogal]

I know he has another parent. I wouldnt be trying to work on this plan if I didnt

No you don't. Because you seem to believe that all time except what YOU work on for him to have is yours.

 

[Ohiogal]

He will only be 18 months this xmas. I dont mind the longer days down the road. when dc turns 5, I am open to more extended schedule

What is so magic about the age of 5? Oh yeah because then YOU will be ready maybe to allow your dear darling baby boo more time away from you. This is YOUR trauma. Not the child's.

 

[LdiJ]

He will only be 18 months this xmas. I dont mind the longer days down the road. when dc turns 5, I am open to more extended schedule

You seriously need to get yourself a consult with a local attorney. Only a local attorney will be able to tell you what your local judges will or will not order.

In my state in a contested situation dad wouldn't get a week at a time at 18 months, but dad would sure as heck get it at at least 36 months, and maybe much eariier than that.

You are completely "off" reality if you think that you can delay extended visitation to age 5. Its simply NOT going to happen.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

What is so magic about the age of 5? Oh yeah because then YOU will be ready maybe to allow your dear darling baby boo more time away from you. This is YOUR trauma. Not the child's.

Thena again, maybe she won't.

I get the same thing from The Ex every few years. Last time, it was along the lines of "Well because of Little Miss Pro Se's age, I think that less frequent visits, of longer duration, would be beneficial to her".

Of course, aside from taking time away, nothing else was offered...

 

[wileybunch]

I get the same thing from The Ex every few years. Last time, it was along the lines of "Well because of Little Miss Pro Se's age, I think that less frequent visits, of longer duration, would be beneficial to her".

Of course, aside from taking time away, nothing else was offered...

Your ex's spirit lives on in many other's ex's, as well.

 

[Supermomma]

ex handed me the sceptor when he ran off when I got preggo. It took a court order to get him back here. At least he wants to play dad now. Actually he is not requesting a lot of time. I suspect he will take off again once court is all settled as he did with the other kids he doesnt even attempt to call or check in on

 

[maryjo]

In MY state the holidays are split for Thanksgiving one parent gets the Wednesday before Thanksgiving until Sunday evening. And then for Christmas its the day school gets out for Christmas break until Christmas day at 3. And the other parent gets 3pm Christmas day until New Years day at 6pm I believe. Thats the basic. It was fine with us and we went with it. Of course, you switch every year.

I actually think this works well. Thanksgiving, to me, isnt a long enough holiday to split and causes everyone a lot of grief if they have to be driving back and forth all day. And the Christmas break, I cant figure out a better way to do it that is fair for everyone. Yes it broke my heart on the first Christmas to wake up Christmas morning without our son with me but we all survived.

Have you checked to see what the holiday visitation rules are in DC? Do you have a court order for anything yet?

If you are so concerned about the week long visits...how are you going to deal with 6 weeks during the summer?

 

[Mrs5sfsniper]

So.

You got pregnant (accidentally, obviously) by a known deadbeat dad who reproduces along the lines of a jackrabbit and you want our assistance in co-ordinating his visitations to your desires?

if there had put this much care and concern into thinking prior to reproducing all this stress would have been alleviated, maybe.

on the bright side you DO have this to look forward to: wait till he settles down, gets marrined and STEPmomma comes on here looking to help her hubby w/visitation/custody issues!

 

[tuffbrk]

I'll never understand why so many people have unprotected sex. That being said -

Holiday visitation can be whatever you want it to be provided Dad agrees with it. Each family has its own traditions. My plan alternates Thanksgiving with Easter as although my children may have a 4 day weekend at Thanksgiving, I do not. So Thanksgiving for us is one day only.

The Ex's family celebrates on Christmas Eve, whereas my family celebrates on Christmas Day. We each have the children on our "days" and then the days off of school until New Years are split equally.

So you see? It all depends upon what works for you and Dad as a family. So far as the "standard" - you can google your state's custody laws, parenting plans, holiday schedules, etc.

As far as being "fair" - the only definition of "fair" is what works for both of you as parents that also enhances the holiday for your child.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thena again, maybe she won't.:rolleyes:

I get the same thing from The Ex every few years. Last time, it was along the lines of "Well because of Little Miss Pro Se's age, I think that less frequent visits, of longer duration, would be beneficial to her".

Of course, aside from taking time away, nothing else was offered...

Accentuating the positive. That was pretty much my point.