friend lost custody, very worried about her!

[Ohiogal]

It isn't wrong. Many parents lose visitation through a modification hearing for not taking or using visitation I thought. There are many visitation modifications over this.

Sorry...but I don't have to take your scolding me like you are my mother.

I added...this was directed at Silverplum. You show me where I was giving BAD advise. SHOW ME 3 in the last 60 days...go ahead. SHOW ME.

You have NO authority to speak to me in that tone. Stick a plum in it.

She will NOT lose visitation for not exercising visitation for a few weeks. If it continues for a LONG period of time then it could happen. But a few weeks is NOT a long time. So you were wrong.

 

[jbowman]

Why did she lose custody?

 

[Ohiogal]

I never said I don't WANT to give her legal advice. I said I have NOT given her any legal advice. And you should hushhhhhhhhhh when it comes to giving advice other than legal. Faith

Faith,
Jbowman said nothing improper to you. Why are you making this a fight?

 

[Zephyr]

She's not going to lose visitation because she didn't exercise it for a couple of weeks after a huge emotional blow.

HOWEVER. As her friend. Tell her to buck up and at least PRETEND to be strong enough to deal with this NOW. Eventually she will find she's not pretending anymore. Grief is all well and good, but it's time to put it away and be a MOTHER. Because ya know what, her CHILDREN are likely grieving too because THEIR WORLD WAS ROCKED AS WELL.

So, be the kind friend who holds her hand. Until it's time to be the drill sargent who kicks her ass.

Edit, Zephyr, please don't yell at me.

not gonna yell at you, I'm a big fan of fake it til you make it, and at least you didn't come off like an insensitive moron

 

[Ohiogal]

Just one other question: I know every state is different, but, do judges take into account the emotional needs for not just the children, but also that each parent needs the same rights to their child as the child's rights to each parent? Other than unfit parents, how is it right for a judge to say since you both cannot agree on your children, parent 1. You lose....parent 2. You win. As far as I can tell no one wins, especially the children. Why is it each state is different?? Shouldn't each state have the same requirements? Thanks Faith

NO. It is not about the parent's needs but about the children's needs. And family law is a state decision NOT a federal decision. You need to start studying constitutional law. The constitution dictates what the federal government is allowed to legislate. Family law is NOT one of those things.

 

[faithnlve]

Why did she lose custody?

Well, she left him in Dec of 2007 and took the kids to her mothers. She found him in THEIR bed with a friend of hers. She filed for separation last January and since they had children it turned into a tug of war over time with them. The temporary order gave her a week, then her husband. His work had him out of town a few times, and he wanted make up time. Anyways, from what she told me since he had the house, and was picking them up at school everyday and bringing them to her parents or to their home, the judge felt it was in the childrens best interest to keep them in their home and school. My friend was looking at moving into another town 5 miles away. She did tell the judge it was hard finding housing since it is high in this area. 3 Bedroom starts at 1500.00 a month. Anyways, She does have the kids every tues, wednesday night for 3 hours, and every other weekend. But she is upset that she has no say in their schooling, medical, and so on. I told her BOY do I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! I tried telling her its not her, it is the laws in Vermont that if both parents cannot agree the courts make that decision. Her ex husband though flaunts that he won the kids to her. Just a jerk of a guy. I am doing the best I can, but men may not understand this, but, you don't take the cubs from the mother lion. If men carried a baby for 9 months and went through the pain and joy of birth they would then have a right to say it doesnt matter, until then it does. I feel for her, fear for her, because, I have been in her shoes at one time. FAith

 

[Grandma's house]

She will NOT lose visitation for not exercising visitation for a few weeks. If it continues for a LONG period of time then it could happen. But a few weeks is NOT a long time. So you were wrong.

O.G. the only thing I was WRONG about in saying: because she could lose visitation for not taking them.

Was not adding what you had "for LONG period of time" and leaving that OUT was incorrect to do. It wasn't as if intentional

 

[faithnlve]

Faith,
Jbowman said nothing improper to you. Why are you making this a fight?

Because it angered me he made this remark towards me:

Aside from that I suggest you hushhhhhhhhhhhhh. You seem to have enough drama in your own life to try giving help and/or advice here. Sorry just my two cents after knowing your history.

 

[Silverplum]

O.G. the only thing I was WRONG about in saying: because she could lose visitation for not taking them.

That's EXACTLY what I SAID was WRONG.

 

[mommyof4]

O.G. the only thing I was WRONG about in saying: because she could lose visitation for not taking them.

Was not adding what you had "for LONG period of time" and leaving that OUT was incorrect to do. It wasn't as if intentional

Well, did you see Faith's response to that little nugget of 'advice'? You freaked her out with your WRONG (and it is NOT the first time...I've seen OG correct you more than once) 'advice'.

 

[CJane]

That's EXACTLY what I SAID was WRONG.

Where did Granny's post go? The one where she said that you'd given her bad advice in the past? Is Granny also someone else?

 

[Grandma's house]

That's EXACTLY what I SAID was WRONG.

It was not ALL wrong...only that I left out the "for a LONG time" so...friend should kick her in her tail before it gets to be too LONG. LOL

 

[jbowman]

Because it angered me he made this remark towards me:

Aside from that I suggest you hushhhhhhhhhhhhh. You seem to have enough drama in your own life to try giving help and/or advice here. Sorry just my two cents after knowing your history.

Sorry you were angered but it is my opinion. You really have no business calling the father and he was right to tell you to butt out. It is also my opinion that you like drama, based on your posts and you welcome any kind of attention.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am doing the best I can, but men may not understand this, but, you don't take the cubs from the mother lion. If men carried a baby for 9 months and went through the pain and joy of birth they would then have a right to say it doesnt matter, until then it does. I feel for her, fear for her, because, I have been in her shoes at one time. FAith

You are SO out of line and now sound like a GU. Quite frankly, men may not carry a baby for 9 months but that does NOT mean that they do not feel pain if they are made the NCP.
Neither parent is more important than the other. You insinuating that a uterus matters is immature, self centered and wrong.

 

[fairisfair]

without trying to be mean she is going through her pity party, her own self mourning. she'll get over it. just encourage her to go see her kids on her visitation times. once she misses her kids....she'll get back on track.

this too, shall pass.

REALLY??? exactly how DOES one just get over losing custody of their children???? a pity party?

I am damned glad you didn't TRY to be mean.