That was a little harsh Proud Parent. Wileybunch, thanks for putting it in a softer mannerand I will take your advice about requesting counseling with Dad. It is very difficult for me in this position not to become emotional and your words were much kinder but got the same point across. I do realize that my relationship with my daughter has faltered due to my "not wanting her to hurt" attitude, however, in my defense, I thought it was a phase.
I have custody of my oldest daughter, we have had our moments but our relationship is sound and to her, I am the warrior parent. Although her father is now in the picture I am still the only source she considers for stability.
I did stand up for myself with my youngest daughters father. I demanded my time, however, after driving over there, they would not be home and would not answer there phones until my time had passed then would apologize and say they forgot or that their plans were set in stone. This happened on 4 different occassions. They would also coach her to behave poorly, regardless of consequence from me (and there were consequences), and told her to tell me that was the way she was going to act every time I got her when she wanted to do something else. She slipped up and told my oldest daughter of this last plan who quickly told me. When I confronted them about it, they lied and my youngest daughter stood there and lied to me with them.
I visit her school at the beginning of each year to meet her teachers. I am looked at with confusion because her new teachers have been told by my daughters dad and step mother that her step mother is her real mother. They get to know me over the year through emails and phone conversations then it starts all over again the next year. They even went as far as to take my half of my daughters last name out of her name when enrolling. This is something else I correct every year. The school doesn't even check it againest her birth certificate until I mention it.
There are walls every where for me, but......I do climb over them. One by one. This seems to have neither worsened or bettered my relationship with my daughter.
I just keep calling her, telling her how much I love her and that I can't wait to see her again. She replies with, "Why are you trying to make me feel quilty?" Even though it hurts to hear when I know no such thing is happening, I just keep telling her hoping to break through that shell.
What I am trying to say is, I never quit my daughter, I NEVER WILL quit my daughter, I will persue her until the end of time. She is my air. Without her in my life, I don't think I could breath. My love runs way to deep to give up. "Staying in it", is not a problem.
I AM prepared to do what is necessary to obtain enforceable visitation orders?
I AM prepared to do what is necessary to ensure that the court enforces those orders?
I AM prepared to do what is necessary to repair my relationship with my daughter?
I WILL NEVER admit that I consented to become alienated from my child by not doing all of the above sooner?
Because that would be a lie. I never consented to being alienated from my child. The progression of denied visitation was quick were are talking about a 9 month period and we did not take it to court because we did not want our child to be draged through that process. His views have apparently changed, otherwise I would not be having to do this. Why would I make a snap judgement about someone with whom I have had a good, working relationship with for the previous 10 1/2 years. I gave him time to change his ways and that was it.
Just because someone gets in their car and begins to drive does not mean that they consented to be killed in the wreck caused by a drunk driver.
Other posters, Please do not allow harsh words and idol assumptions from people who know nothing about you other than what you have posted to bring you down. Stand up for yourselves and truly good and helpful people will realize their error and will know that their behavior is not acceptable. If it continues, look at the good advice only.
I am not a careless parent and never have been Proud_Parent. Are you a Perfect_Parent? If so, can I borrow the handbook to raising children that God gave you? You don't know how hard I have been fighting so don't make that assumption about me. And, if it wasn't intentional, realize that people have emotions and please be more careful in your wording next time. People do not post because they are bored, they post because they are in those situations and those situation are already putting enough stress on them. Don't add to it.