spousal support

[wichitafalls1]

What is the name of your state? tx

if i get spousal support can i use that as income if i get the house and have to refinance?


i have a job i have been employed full time since oct. i started back into the work force part time in july of 2007. before that i worked on a work study progarm while in school from sept 2006 till may of 2007 for 5.00 a hour a min of 9-10 hours a week, you work to pay for expenses for school and you only can work when not in class. before that the last time i worked was in 1998 or 99, my husband made it hard to work because we had small children and didn't want me working, i actually didn't go back to school until the kids where both in school. we have been married 13 years in november of this year. but i don't make a enough right now to match what we made together or what i would of been making if he had not made me quit the job force.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? tx

if i get spousal support can i use that as income if i get the house and have to refinance?


i have a job i have been employed full time since oct. i started back into the work force part time in july of 2007. before that i worked on a work study progarm while in school from sept 2006 till may of 2007 for 5.00 a hour a min of 9-10 hours a week, you work to pay for expenses for school and you only can work when not in class. before that the last time i worked was in 1998 or 99, my husband made it hard to work because we had small children and didn't want me working, i actually didn't go back to school until the kids where both in school. we have been married 13 years in november of this year. but i don't make a enough right now to match what we made together or what i would of been making if he had not made me quit the job force.

Yes, alimony is income and therefore a consideration of your total income for the refinance of your house.

Your husband made a big mistake when he didn't want you to work. I hope other married people reading this learn from that mistake.

 

[wichitafalls1]

i know i did. i felt like i was not entitled to say anything about how money was spent or had a say in anything. i know now if i had felt safe and more indepent i would of left along time ago. i might not of worked out the home, but i worked my butt off inside of the home, heck you know how much you have to pay for daycare, maid service, an accountant, lawn service, nurse, someone to listen to your problems, and not to mention the physical stuff. heck your broke before you even go to work. even with kids, if your both involed with the raising it will work with both parents working and everyone would feel equal.

 

[nextwife]

Yes, alimony is income and therefore a consideration of your total income for the refinance of your house.

Your husband made a big mistake when he didn't want you to work. I hope other married people reading this learn from that mistake.

A woman only fails to return to the workforce if she truly agrees to be left dependent. I don't know a single woman who ALLOWED herself to "be told" they must stay home and fail to maintain the ability to hold a sustainable job. What about what WE want? Many of us WANT to be financially capable, independent adults, and to have our sons and daughter's see shared responsibilities as the example for which to strive.

 

[Bali Hai]

i know i did. i felt like i was not entitled to say anything about how money was spent or had a say in anything. i know now if i had felt safe and more indepent i would of left along time ago. i might not of worked out the home, but i worked my butt off inside of the home, heck you know how much you have to pay for daycare, maid service, an accountant, lawn service, nurse, someone to listen to your problems, and not to mention the physical stuff. heck your broke before you even go to work. even with kids, if your both involed with the raising it will work with both parents working and everyone would feel equal.

This is the very reason that men should not marry unless the woman is the CEO of a Fortune 500 company!!

 

[Bali Hai]

A woman only fails to return to the workforce if she truly agrees to be left dependent. I don't know a single woman who ALLOWED herself to "be told" they must stay home and fail to maintain the ability to hold a sustainable job. What about what WE want? Many of us WANT to be financially capable, independent adults, and to have our sons and daughter's see shared responsibilities as the example for which to strive.

Yes I agree nextwife, I'm sure there was no gun held to her head, but I'm trying to be a kinder, gentler Bali Hai.

 

[Zigner]

Hey, Bali -
Still no relief from the blistering, huh?

 

[wichitafalls1]

i love you guys. no there was no gun, but stupid does count, i would preach one thing to my daughters but do another, but no more. thanks for all the comments.

 

[penelope10]

This is the very reason that men should not marry unless the woman is the CEO of a Fortune 500 company!!

Or at least has her own money--agree completely. Woman need to do this as well---And I do appreciate that Men get the shaft when it comes to Alimony. So don't yell at me!

Or should I have left sleeping Bali's lie---LOL!!!!

 

[ohiostate]

My wife was a stay at home mom for 4 years of the last 6 years of our marriage. The judge "suggested" that I make an agreement for alimony of $1000 per month for 5 years. (I am divorced as of 7/2007.) We both agreed that a stay-at-mom was the best thing for our kids. Now, I am out $60,000 for that decision. I am an engineer vs. my ex-wife being a Luth. school teacher. She could make more in a public school but that does matter in the court's eyes. Men get screwed - just a matter how much. I also pay $1005 child support per month which I have no problem at all with.

 

[Ohiogal]

My wife was a stay at home mom for 4 years of the last 6 years of our marriage. The judge "suggested" that I make an agreement for alimony of $1000 per month for 5 years. (I am divorced as of 7/2007.) We both agreed that a stay-at-mom was the best thing for our kids. Now, I am out $60,000 for that decision. I am an engineer vs. my ex-wife being a Luth. school teacher. She could make more in a public school but that does matter in the court's eyes. Men get screwed - just a matter how much. I also pay $1005 child support per month which I have no problem at all with.

YOU made the decision to allow her to be a stay-at-home mom. You decided that. You allowed that. You did not have to settle for that. YOu could have encouraged her to work and had the children in day care. You CHOSE to agree to her staying home. So you weren't screwed by anyone but yourself (and maybe your wife but that is another subject and not for a family board).

 

[Alana_Moore]

My wife was a stay at home mom for 4 years of the last 6 years of our marriage. The judge "suggested" that I make an agreement for alimony of $1000 per month for 5 years. (I am divorced as of 7/2007.) We both agreed that a stay-at-mom was the best thing for our kids. Now, I am out $60,000 for that decision. I am an engineer vs. my ex-wife being a Luth. school teacher. She could make more in a public school but that does matter in the court's eyes. Men get screwed - just a matter how much. I also pay $1005 child support per month which I have no problem at all with.

$2005 really isnt alot to live off of per month. I understand your fustration but put yourself in her shoes too. Its not a man/woman thing. If your wife was the egineer and you stayed home. You could get alimony too.

 

[Silverplum]

Who cares??

It's not a part of the OP's legal discussion. It's just a sob story, glommed onto someone else's thread.

 

[ohiostate]

WE made a decision together on what was best for our kids. Ohiogal, the tone of your statements sounds like a made the decision alone. There is no way my ex-wife is $60,000 behind in her career. She also decided to just work as a secretary during the other years of our marriage - she had a bad experience with teaching before we were married. But that did not matter. There are other details - like I brought $50,000 in savings (she brought no savings) and I basically leave with half of it. So before you make the statement that I made the decision to ..., there is more to the story.

 

[wichitafalls1]

i don't want to ask for spousal support unless it means keeping my house for my kids and myself, we were not the ones who decided to start screwing our step-cousin.

i waited to go back to school to put him thru school, he went for a 1 year program that took from 1999 till 2005, and i stayed at home the whole time by his choice, i would not trade the time i had with my kids for anything, but if i didn't take the first chance i had to go back to school, i would be working min. wage and shift work with no medical, vacation or sick leave and what would that do for my kids, esp. since he has gone from salary job to an hourly job and doesn't show up to see the kids.

i am not asking for it to screw him, i just might need it for a year so that my income is what it would of been if i had not let him control everything or what it was the last year with both of incomes.

i know that there are people that ask for spousal support as punishment, but not everyone is in that group. sorry if you were one that was screwed.