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name change (for a child)

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Bella_R

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? KY

Hi. I am new to the forum and not quite certain where this question should be placed. However, since this issue was originally addressed by the courts during a visitation dispute, I decided to post it here.

My stepdaughter is 4 years old. Her mother and my husband were not married when she was born. My step-daughter shared the last name of her mother until her mother married in 2005 (after which time the mother assumed the last name of her husband). Since 2005 my husband has made numerous attempts at trying to persuade the mother to change the child's last name (or at least hyphenate it), particularly after both I and the mother gave birth to the child's siblings, neither of which share my step-daughter's name. The problem lies in the fact that in 2005 the mother moved to Louisiana. One lawyer advised us to wait to take the mother to court until after she moved, telling us that having to return to Kentucky would encourage her to comply. That did not work. Another lawyer took our case to court, but the judge ruled that since the child is now a resident of Louisiana, Kentucky courts had no jurisdiction. We contacted a lawyer in Louisiana who said the name change could be done to the tune of about $2500.00. He advised that my husband make another attempt to persuade the mother to change the name, as it would be cheaper since we could then file it in Kentucky. My husband made another attempt to talk to the mother, and she agreed to hyphenate the name. My husband contacted the Louisiana lawyer who told us that since the mother agreed, we should now go through the Kentucky court system.

My question is this: The court in Kentucky ruled the change (or at least the hearing for the name change) would have to occur in Louisiana since the child is technically a resident of Louisiana, but the Louisiana lawyer said it should go through Kentucky courts since the child was born in Kentucky. Which state is the appropriate state to file? In addition, the child was born in one county, but the visitation and child support was established in a different county after the mother moved (she married into the military). In which county should we file-- the one on her birth certificate or the one where paternity, visitation, etc. was established? We are getting little to no help from our Kentucky lawyer or Louisiana lawyer (frankly I think my husband should fire both as they both seem useless).

For the record: This is not a petty vendetta against the mother because she got married. My husband had ended the relationship with the mother prior to his finding out about her pregnancy. My husband began paying child support the week his daughter was born, he has paid medical bills, and until the time the mother and daughter moved from Kentucky, he and I (and his parents) had physical custody as much (if not more) than the mother. Of course this was not court-ordered but rather served as a convenience to the mother. At any rate, since he now only sees her twice a year, he feels it is important to have as much connection to the child as possible (particularly since he now has another daughter who does share his name). Therefore, any help would be greatly appreciated!
 


fairisfair

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? KY

Hi. I am new to the forum and not quite certain where this question should be placed. However, since this issue was originally addressed by the courts during a visitation dispute, I decided to post it here.

My stepdaughter is 4 years old. Her mother and my husband were not married when she was born. My step-daughter shared the last name of her mother until her mother married in 2005 (after which time the mother assumed the last name of her husband). Since 2005 my husband has made numerous attempts at trying to persuade the mother to change the child's last name (or at least hyphenate it), particularly after both I and the mother gave birth to the child's siblings, neither of which share my step-daughter's name. The problem lies in the fact that in 2005 the mother moved to Louisiana. One lawyer advised us to wait to take the mother to court until after she moved, telling us that having to return to Kentucky would encourage her to comply. That did not work. Another lawyer took our case to court, but the judge ruled that since the child is now a resident of Louisiana, Kentucky courts had no jurisdiction. We contacted a lawyer in Louisiana who said the name change could be done to the tune of about $2500.00. He advised that my husband make another attempt to persuade the mother to change the name, as it would be cheaper since we could then file it in Kentucky. My husband made another attempt to talk to the mother, and she agreed to hyphenate the name. My husband contacted the Louisiana lawyer who told us that since the mother agreed, we should now go through the Kentucky court system.

My question is this: The court in Kentucky ruled the change (or at least the hearing for the name change) would have to occur in Louisiana since the child is technically a resident of Louisiana, but the Louisiana lawyer said it should go through Kentucky courts since the child was born in Kentucky. Which state is the appropriate state to file? In addition, the child was born in one county, but the visitation and child support was established in a different county after the mother moved (she married into the military). In which county should we file-- the one on her birth certificate or the one where paternity, visitation, etc. was established? We are getting little to no help from our Kentucky lawyer or Louisiana lawyer (frankly I think my husband should fire both as they both seem useless).

For the record: This is not a petty vendetta against the mother because she got married. My husband had ended the relationship with the mother prior to his finding out about her pregnancy. My husband began paying child support the week his daughter was born, he has paid medical bills, and until the time the mother and daughter moved from Kentucky, he and I (and his parents) had physical custody as much (if not more) than the mother. Of course this was not court-ordered but rather served as a convenience to the mother. At any rate, since he now only sees her twice a year, he feels it is important to have as much connection to the child as possible (particularly since he now has another daughter who does share his name). Therefore, any help would be greatly appreciated!
If there is already a court ruling. Then you need to go to Louisiana.

But somehow I am guessing this is less of a court ruling, and more of a "somebody told you"
 
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CourtClerk

Senior Member
I guess I must be the only one who doesn't care what the child's name is or whether or not the siblings and the parents all have the same name. With the state of marriage and divorce and remarriage and new kids, no one is bound to share the same name for very long. The kids don't even live in the same STATE... I don't see the correlation or even the significance of the kids needing to have the same last name. The poor child will see the next door neighbor more than she sees the siblings, maybe she should have their last name.

File in Louisiana, the mother and child are legal residents of that state.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
I'M NO LONGER QUOTING FAIR BECAUSE SHE CHANGED HER ANSWER :D
You go back to vital statistics once the order has been made. They'll need to amend the birth certificate, but where to file constitutes giving legal advice, which I bet you they will not do.
 
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fairisfair

Senior Member
You go back to vital statistics once the order has been made. They'll need to amend the birth certificate, but where to file constitutes giving legal advice, which I bet you they will not do.
I changed my answer since then little miss quicky copy quote. LOL

Our department of vital statistics here will tell you exactly where to go (in more ways than one. LOL) and even provide you with the court form. Ah, it is so nice not to live in that crazy farther west state.... grin.
 
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CourtClerk

Senior Member
I changed my answer since then little miss quicky copy quote. LOL

Our department of vital statistics here will tell you exactly where to go (in more ways than one. LOL) and even provide you with the court form. Ah, it is so nice not to live in that crazy farther west state.... grin.
LMAOOOO.... is this the appropriate time to say... NANNY NANNY BOO BOO!!!!

Now look at the first response.. I edited.
 

Bella_R

Junior Member
Thank you all for your suggestions. It seems that Louisiana is the place to begin. In response to "court clerk:" Please remember that just because something does not seem as important to you, it does not mean it is not important to someone else. Different families have different family values, and it is important to my husband that he do everything he can to assure his daughter that he wants and loves her as much as the child he has with me. We can't do much, but at least we can do something. He just wants her to know that he is proud she is his daughter. We try to do the best we can when we see her, but that is very difficult when we only see her twice a year. Her mother is less than supportive of his relationship with her, too. He just wants as much connection with her as possible.
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
Thank you all for your suggestions. It seems that Louisiana is the place to begin. In response to "court clerk:" Please remember that just because something does not seem as important to you, it does not mean it is not important to someone else. Different families have different family values, and it is important to my husband that he do everything he can to assure his daughter that he wants and loves her as much as the child he has with me. We can't do much, but at least we can do something. He just wants her to know that he is proud she is his daughter. We try to do the best we can when we see her, but that is very difficult when we only see her twice a year. Her mother is less than supportive of his relationship with her, too. He just wants as much connection with her as possible.
Personally, I don't blame him for wanting her to have his last name, and she is still young enough so that she hasn't had to learn to write and spell some other one.

I say carry on.....file the petition, chances are that it will be granted, or that her name will at least be hyphenated....

Court Clerk is just a meanie. ROTFLMAO.....;):D:D
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
Court Clerk is just a meanie. ROTFLMAO.....;):D:D
Hey, that's a step up. OHSweetness has called Bay a mean mean meanie. I almost choked when I read that.

Maybe I was in a little bit of a snit. I'm all for changing the kids name for the right reasons, but if he wants her to know he's proud to be her daddy... tell her. Giving her a name isn't going to do it in the long run.
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
Hey, that's a step up. OHSweetness has called Bay a mean mean meanie. I almost choked when I read that.

Maybe I was in a little bit of a snit. I'm all for changing the kids name for the right reasons, but if he wants her to know he's proud to be her daddy... tell her. Giving her a name isn't going to do it in the long run.
aw....you are a sweet sweet sweetie.

Ohsweetness??? Well SHE knows a mean mean meanie when she sees one....;)

I agree with the telling her....but I also like the idea of a big ole name changin' party too!!!
 
aw....you are a sweet sweet sweetie.

Ohsweetness??? Well SHE knows a mean mean meanie when she sees one....;)

I agree with the telling her....but I also like the idea of a big ole name changin' party too!!!
I do know a mean meanie when I see one and I can relate to the OP wanting child to have a name shared with someone else. But I also have to say dear OP please dont take this the wrong way but my first cute little puppy's name was Bella. And my last name began with an R. So when I saw your post I really really thought almost that my little puppy might be posting. You remind me of her.

Again, not to be insulting. I really really hope that dad gets to share his name with his child. The poor child might feel alone and if the court says it needs pursued in Louisiana then daddy needs to do that.
 
Hey, that's a step up. OHSweetness has called Bay a mean mean meanie. I almost choked when I read that.

Maybe I was in a little bit of a snit. I'm all for changing the kids name for the right reasons, but if he wants her to know he's proud to be her daddy... tell her. Giving her a name isn't going to do it in the long run.
Oh my. I would NEVER EVER NEVER want anyone to choke. :eek:I apologize to you.

But it wouldn't be giving the child a name -- the child has a name. It would be daddy sharing his name. That is important to him. I don't know how the child feels about it. OP do you know what the child feels about her name?:confused:
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
I do know a mean meanie when I see one and I can relate to the OP wanting child to have a name shared with someone else. But I also have to say dear OP please dont take this the wrong way but my first cute little puppy's name was Bella. And my last name began with an R. So when I saw your post I really really thought almost that my little puppy might be posting. You remind me of her.

Again, not to be insulting. I really really hope that dad gets to share his name with his child. The poor child might feel alone and if the court says it needs pursued in Louisiana then daddy needs to do that.
Why don't you go crawl back under the rock you came out of??? Is there a barf smiley???

The OP reminds you of your DOG?
 

proud_parent

Senior Member
I do know a mean meanie when I see one and I can relate to the OP wanting child to have a name shared with someone else. But I also have to say dear OP please dont take this the wrong way but my first cute little puppy's name was Bella. And my last name began with an R. So when I saw your post I really really thought almost that my little puppy might be posting. You remind me of her.
Mark this moment. OhSweetness has (albeit in a convoluted way) managed to suggest that she thought a poster was a bitch.

:eek:
 

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