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My extended summer visitation...disrupted?

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atxdad

Junior Member
I am in Texas, and here is my story- I will begin my summer visitation with my children on July 11. My visitation is the standard for Texas however I agreed to a 3 week visit instead of the 4 (I had to fight just for that even though it says 4).

Anyhow my youngest daughter broke her arm about 4 weeks ago, in which my ex never informed me of until the bill came, and yes I am up to date with child and medical support. Due to a protective order I am not to come in contact with her, as my wife communicates with her by phone about exchange locations and whatnot. So here is my question, she told my wife that my daughter has a doctors appointment on the 23 ( during my visitation) and will be picking her up in the morning to take her or we can meet her at the doctors, knowing that cannot happen. I told my wife to write her a text message explaining that we will be glad to take her and no to show up, in a respectful way. She called my wife and said, and I'm using exact words here, "How about this, I am her mother and I will be there. I'm sorry if ya'll can't deal with that but it's reality and zane (myself) is not in her life because he chose not to be. You don't know anything about the past so don't pretend that you do. and if there are any problems call me. This is my daughter worry about your own." That is word for word, I have saved this message just in case. So if my exwife shows up I'm the one who has to leave because of the protective orde. If I leave I can't return to pick them up because she'll be there. What can I do?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


CourtClerk

Senior Member
If your ex wife shows up, is there a reason why you just can't wait outside until the appointment is over and your wife can escort her back to the car?

And I'm not even going to get into why there is a protective order in the first place, because we know, it wasn't your fault.
 

atxdad

Junior Member
Doesn't anyone understand

First of all Ive been fighting for visitation for years! She will bring them for a few months and stop for months at a time until I get her into court for it. This is a cycle with her.
Secondly, the protective order was a crock she even called my P.O. to drop it, however it wasn't possible because it was too late! She even admitted to him she was just upset because I left her!
And finally I really want I be there for my daughter at her appointment, and by law if she is outside the docs, I have to leave. So let me ask again, what do I do?
 
Last edited:

Just Blue

Senior Member
First of all Ive been fighting for visitation for years! She will bring them for a few months and stop for months at a time until I get her into court for it. This is a cycle with her.
Secondly, the protective order was a crock she even called my P.O. to drop it, however it wasn't possible because it was too late! She even admitted to him she was just upset because I left her!
And finally I really want I be there for my daughter at her appointment, and by law if she is outside the docs, I have to leave. So let me ask again, what do I do?

Why didn't you fight the PO??
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
Question seniors,

since its dad's visitation time, doesn't he have the right to take daughter to the doc? And if mom shows up, SHE is violating her own restraining order.

It seems like dad is in the right here. Did I miss something?
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
First of all Ive been fighting for visitation for years!
And you got it, so stop whining.

Secondly, the protective order was a crock she even called my P.O. to drop it, however it wasn't possible because it was too late!
I already TOLD you it wasn't your fault.
And finally I really want I be there for my daughter at her appointment,
and if there is a protective order, you can't. So build a bridge and get over it. You want to be at a doctor's appointment, or do you want to continue your summer visitation?
and by law if she is outside the docs, I have to leave.
Then leave and wait in the car.
So let me ask again, what do I do?
So again, let me review with you what to do:

1. Stop whining
2. Get a back bone
You have a third party bring the child to the doctor. This isn't rocket science
wait outside until the appointment is over and your wife can escort her back to the car?
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
Humusluvr, technically it is Dad's time. Technically Mom's a biznitch for not telling Dad about the broken bone previously and letting him be involved. But, given the fact he has a RO on him, the appt only HAPPENS to be on his time given when follow up care should be, etc., it is probably best that Dad leave the doctor's visit if ex shows up (but his current wife should stay and escort child back to Dad after visit). Mom's definitely throwing her weight around, but she is the CP and it is more important that she have the continuity of care info on the broken bone status.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Question seniors,

since its dad's visitation time, doesn't he have the right to take daughter to the doc? And if mom shows up, SHE is violating her own restraining order.

It seems like dad is in the right here. Did I miss something?
How can SHE violate the PO?? SHE doesn't have a PO...HE does. He knows that she is going to be there and if he were to show up he would be in violation. Would the DA charge him...perhaps not. But not worth the risk.

OP should file for to either have the RO vacated or amended to allow contact for such occasions.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
Question seniors,

since its dad's visitation time, doesn't he have the right to take daughter to the doc? And if mom shows up, SHE is violating her own restraining order.
They both have the right to be at the doctor's appointment, regardless of who's parenting time it is. Dad has a protective order against him, so if she shows (which is her right), he has to leave. Just do like Stealth said and send a third party. I'm not going to cater to "men" who want to whine and sing oh whoa is me today. All he needs to do is figure out a solution to the problem. He's been given 2. Pick one and move on.
It seems like dad is in the right here. Did I miss something?
Dad is acting like a big baby AND he's not right.
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
They both have the right to be at the doctor's appointment, regardless of who's parenting time it is. Dad has a protective order against him, so if she shows (which is her right), he has to leave. Just do like Stealth said and send a third party. I'm not going to cater to "men" who want to whine and sing oh whoa is me today. All he needs to do is figure out a solution to the problem. He's been given 2. Pick one and move on.

Dad is acting like a big baby AND he's not right.
Thanks for clearing it up. Hopefully dad takes the good advice from y'all. :)
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
First of all Ive been fighting for visitation for years! She will bring them for a few months and stop for months at a time until I get her into court for it. This is a cycle with her.
Secondly, the protective order was a crock she even called my P.O. to drop it, however it wasn't possible because it was too late! She even admitted to him she was just upset because I left her!
And finally I really want I be there for my daughter at her appointment, and by law if she is outside the docs, I have to leave. So let me ask again, what do I do?
Gee.... how is anyone supposed to know any of this from your first post? Do you think we read minds?? If you don't post it? We don't know it.
 

atxdad

Junior Member
little tricky

here's a little more info to help you out CourtClerk, I do have the ight to be there. You see the protective order itself was up in may 08, so everything was to go back to the original divorcedecree however, the judge advised me not to come in contact until my probation was up, so technically I do have the right to take my daughter to receive healthcare, but then again I can't be around her. I've never had a chance to do this before and now I have that, but then again if she shows up, its ruined, I have to leave I can't even " wait in the car" so how can I keep her from not showing up. The lady in charge of visitation at the domestic relations office said I have he right to reschedule the appointment myself to make sure she doesn't show however I do not wish to deceive anone here....so again how do I do this?
 

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