What are my rights?

[LdiJ]

No, it does not say anything else about how to schedule times or how far in advance, before this past month we always spoke on the phone, since the his g/f (wife now) verbally insulted me in my home, and I asked her not to come back if she's going to treat me this way, it is her emailing me. Yes I know this, because I asked in the email last night, besides the typing is very different between the two.

How do I go about getting a clarification? Do I still need to hire an attorney? Or as someone told me, wait and see what they do?

Thank you for all the reponses.

The only thing that isn't specific, in your orders, is the two week summer period. I don't think that you need a clarification, I think that you need a modification to add language to specify how much notice must be given, and to exclude the week before school starts from the time available to be chosen. Normally orders contain language that states that the parent must provide written notice by some date in April. I have seen it be April 1, April 15, or April 30. You probably also want to throw some language in there that gives you two uninterrupted weeks in the summer as well, since dad gets time every weekend. If so, you will want to give yourself a deadline to notify dad as well. For example, if he has to notify you by April 1, then your deadline to notify him could be April 15.

You could also try to change the schedule to be more traditional. Every other weekend, one evening a week, and half of all school holidays, is much more the norm. Dad wouldn't see the child quite as often during the school year, but would have more time, overall, with the child.

 

[acmb05]

The only thing that isn't specific, in your orders, is the two week summer period. I don't think that you need a clarification, I think that you need a modification to add language to specify how much notice must be given, and to exclude the week before school starts from the time available to be chosen. Normally orders contain language that states that the parent must provide written notice by some date in April. I have seen it be April 1, April 15, or April 30. You probably also want to throw some language in there that gives you two uninterrupted weeks in the summer as well, since dad gets time every weekend. If so, you will want to give yourself a deadline to notify dad as well. For example, if he has to notify you by April 1, then your deadline to notify him could be April 15.

You could also try to change the schedule to be more traditional. Every other weekend, one evening a week, and half of all school holidays, is much more the norm. Dad wouldn't see the child quite as often during the school year, but would have more time, overall, with the child.

But at this time and the way it is written if dad has not exercised his two weeks yet and request a certain week, if mom says no she would be denying him his visitation time.

Why is the week before school starts a bad week for dad?

 

[majomom1]

But at this time and the way it is written if dad has not exercised his two weeks yet and request a certain week, if mom says no she would be denying him his visitation time.

Why is the week before school starts a bad week for dad?

Yes and I think OP realizes that. I agree with Ldi, there needs to be a date or something for notification of the 2 weeks.

The week before school is a bad time, for either parent, to take vacation. There is back to school shopping, school supplies and some schools have evening back to school nights for parents to get information, schedules and kids to find lockers.

Not that Dad couldn't do this too, and is always welcome to buy any of this and attend the meetings. This week is generally a busy week for parents and getting the kids back into school mode, and schedule.

 

[acmb05]

Yes and I think OP realizes that. I agree with Ldi, there needs to be a date or something for notification of the 2 weeks.

The week before school is a bad time, for either parent, to take vacation. There is back to school shopping, school supplies and some schools have evening back to school nights for parents to get information, schedules and kids to find lockers.

Not that Dad couldn't do this too, and is always welcome to buy any of this and attend the meetings. This week is generally a busy week for parents and getting the kids back into school mode, and schedule.

Which is why I do all that before the week before school. Didn't realize that some schools have back to school nights instead of during the day.

I agree dad could do that but if it is just for back to school shopping and such I don't think that is a good excuse to deny visitation. The school list of supplies is out and usually in stores long before the final week of summer. Besides if you wait till the last week there is a chance that a lot of the things the child needs will not be available. I know I have run into that on more than one occasion, that's why I started doing it earlier.

 

[nextwife]

Which is why I do all that before the week before school. Didn't realize that some schools have back to school nights instead of during the day.

I agree dad could do that but if it is just for back to school shopping and such I don't think that is a good excuse to deny visitation. The school list of supplies is out and usually in stores long before the final week of summer. Besides if you wait till the last week there is a chance that a lot of the things the child needs will not be available. I know I have run into that on more than one occasion, that's why I started doing it earlier.

I have most of my back to school shopping done. The rest can be completed in one quick trip to Target or Office Depot.

 

[majomom1]

Which is why I do all that before the week before school. Didn't realize that some schools have back to school nights instead of during the day.

I agree dad could do that but if it is just for back to school shopping and such I don't think that is a good excuse to deny visitation. The school list of supplies is out and usually in stores long before the final week of summer. Besides if you wait till the last week there is a chance that a lot of the things the child needs will not be available. I know I have run into that on more than one occasion, that's why I started doing it earlier.

Oh, I completely agree and with a date for notification that can easily be planned for... I don't feel it is a reason to deny time, I simply understood Ldi's reasoning. I think most of us learn to do this all ahead of time, but there are still some that wait until the last minute... And there are still some that are struggling with the transition time of changing houses. It just eliminates that potential conflict and is something one should take into consideration...

 

[Isis1]

i honestly agree with the whole scheduling issue. i don't think it's unreasonable to have the children be in the primary residential home at least three days prior to beginnng a new school year. it was actually an issue the judge had brought to attention in my case. she didn't feel it was in the children's best interest to have them "wound up" after school break. especially when you have a "disneyland NCP" in consideration. It gives the children time to readjust.

 

[penelope10]

I have most of my back to school shopping done. The rest can be completed in one quick trip to Target or Office Depot.

LOL---LUCKY YOU, I'm envious. Here in TX we have something called TAX FREE weekend. It occurs right before school starts. There is no sales tax on certain items which includes school supplies. Lil Bit and I have bought a few items, but the majority will be bought on Tax Free weekend. We will also be purchasing a majority of her back to school clothes during that time.

Sorry for the hijack all---back to the regularly scheduled program....

 

[2Mistakes]

I have physical custody of my kids, and I can completely understand wanting the kids home for the week before school.

We start getting into "school mode" the entire week before . . . the kids have to go to bed at the same they will have to on school nights, and they have to get up at the same time they will have to for school. That way, when school starts, it's not such a struggle . . . they are already in that mode.

If they are at the NCP's that week before school, well, I can assure you, they are not getting into "school mode."

Luckily for me, this isn't a problem. NCP gets the kids for the first 6 weeks of summer.

But I can understand a CP wanting the kids home for that week before school, and starting to establish that routine. Makes it easier on everyone, especially the kids. And that is what it's all about, right? The kids?

 

[2Mistakes]

LOL---LUCKY YOU, I'm envious. Here in TX we have something called TAX FREE weekend. It occurs right before school starts. There is no sales tax on certain items which includes school supplies. Lil Bit and I have bought a few items, but the majority will be bought on Tax Free weekend. We will also be purchasing a majority of her back to school clothes during that time.

Sorry for the hijack all---back to the regularly scheduled program....

The 3 MS Coastal counties also do a Tax Free weekend, as does Mobile, AL, I believe. It's pretty awesome, and can save a crap-load of money, but the crowds are horrendous!

The JCPenney's in my city had a sale yesterday -- Buy 1, Get 1 for $1.00 Pretty awesome. We really racked up on clothes and shoes for the kids. With 4 kids, these kinds of sales can be life savers!

 

[penelope10]

I have physical custody of my kids, and I can completely understand wanting the kids home for the week before school.

We start getting into "school mode" the entire week before . . . the kids have to go to bed at the same they will have to on school nights, and they have to get up at the same time they will have to for school. That way, when school starts, it's not such a struggle . . . they are already in that mode.

If they are at the NCP's that week before school, well, I can assure you, they are not getting into "school mode."

Luckily for me, this isn't a problem. NCP gets the kids for the first 6 weeks of summer.

But I can understand a CP wanting the kids home for that week before school, and starting to establish that routine. Makes it easier on everyone, especially the kids. And that is what it's all about, right? The kids?

We start gearing towards school mode at my home also about a week before school starts. LOL, sometimes it's more Mom getting into school mode than Lil Bit. She's really self motivated. Last year she voluntarily started going to bed early and waking up earlier so she wouldn't have a problem when school started. My older kids had to be encouraged to start the summer wind down process.

 

[nextwife]

We start gearing towards school mode at my home also about a week before school starts. LOL, sometimes it's more Mom getting into school mode than Lil Bit. She's really self motivated. Last year she voluntarily started going to bed early and waking up earlier so she wouldn't have a problem when school started. My older kids had to be encouraged to start the summer wind down process.

Those of us who work, and whose kids go to summer camp, summer school and summer band, have our kiddos in bed at pretty much the same schedule in summer as during the school year. Can't have kiddo missing the bus to day camp.

 

[penelope10]

Those of us who work, and whose kids go to summer camp, summer school and summer band, have our kiddos in bed at pretty much the same schedule in summer as during the school year. Can't have kiddo missing the bus to day camp.

LOL! How true! My case, three kiddos (oldest almost 26). Two were never, ever, morning people. Thank goodness the one I had late in life is. (But she's only 13 and has not had a case of raging hormones yet).

To be quite honest, I'm not a morning person either. (At least not until I've had my second cup of coffee) I have to wake up well before I REALLY need to in order to get ready and to get Lil Bit up and off.

 

[cntryhrt]

Thank you everybody for your input and support.

Most of you have said it in your replys, I also have all the school supplies we need, I think, we have not received the list from the school yet, but we have the basics. The only reason I want her home is to get back into routine. She does not have her own bed at her father's house yet and sleeps with her 5-6 yr old step sister. I know she does not go to bed when told, she has told me so. She is NOT a morning person, as I am aslon not, so we need to be ready.

Unfortunetly, he has changed the weeks he wants her once already. And I have never had to deal with this issue before because he rarely took every other weekend before this year. Never has he taken her for more than a Sat-Sun visit. This is new since the new woman in his life. Now since I have stated we are sticking to the visitation schedule in the decree, he won't even speak to me. I don't know what to do.

Thank you for your advice!

 

[TheGeekess]

The 3 MS Coastal counties also do a Tax Free weekend, as does Mobile, AL, I believe. It's pretty awesome, and can save a crap-load of money, but the crowds are horrendous!

Actually, it's not just Mobile, it's the whole state. First weekend in August, school starts in my district on the 7th. I'll do some late-night shopping to avoid the crowds.