Who might get custody....

[TakenForGranted]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

My ex is threatoning to take me to court for custody of our 4 year old daughter because I went out with a guy he didn't approve of. When I learned he was unhappy about my new relationship, I disolved it for the sake of my daughter. Right now we have 50/50 custody no one has ever been awarded "primary custody" but it does state on some family court forms that I have primary custody - but we neve went to court for custody before, when we split we mutually decided (through dispute settlement) that we would equally share care and custody of our daughter. Our break up was messy, we were both charged with different things, thoug I ended up with a felony forgery on my record (his mother gave me permission to sign her name, then told the police I didn't have her permission just to get me arrested - and it did!). Now, I have this charge and am on probation for it, but I work full time, have allways had sole custody of my other children, never been charged by CPS, take care of my children the best way I possibly can. He on the other hand, does not work, is committing welfare fraud by working under the table while on full social services benefits, has had a marijuanna history (though he tells me is clean, but I don't believe that for a minute), he lives in a trailer that doesn't even have proper running water - you can not take a bath there or drink the water - he takes my daughter to his mothers for a bath. He also has been in trouble with family court for not paying child support for his other kids (he doesn't even see them) and could go to jail for not paying - he goes back to court in a few weeks. He lost is drivers license so far.

My question is, what are my chances at obtaining full custody of my daughter if he takes me to court? I am not filing papers against him but if he files against me for custody, what are my chances of winning since I have the forgery charge as compared to his current living situation.

Thank you!

 

[TakenForGranted]

forgot to mention....

A stay away order of protection was issue against my ex for him to stay away from my older daughter due to him dragging her around by her neck to make her clean up her room. It has since expired this past July - but none the less, the judge felt the need to make him move out of my hose and issue the OP.

 

[Ohiogal]

Were you two married? What court orders exist? How does he have 50/50 custody if not through a court ORDER? Why have you allowed your child to live in a home without proper running water?

 

[TakenForGranted]

court order status

I thought I stated this, sorry if I didn't - we agreed in court to share custody - so that is what the order says. We both get our daughter the same amount of time each week and no child support was ordered, we are to split the medical bills and any other expenses 50/50. And we were never married but were together for about 5 years - we broke up before our daughter turned 2.

As far as the water goes, if I don't let her go I am in violation of a court order and he takes good care of her, he brings her to his mom for a bath and his mom provides the daycare so our daughter is there everyday for a bath if she needs it, this way he does't have to worry about it at his place. but in the beginning the toilet didn't work and she had to go to the bathroom outside, I didn't know this until after they got this fixed. They can use the toilet now, but the water is so bad that they cant bathe or wash anything in it.

I certainly don't want to take her away from him, but if I have to fight for custody I want to know what my chances are succeeding.

 

[Ohiogal]

Quite frankly neither one of you have a great chance of sole custody. Both of you have your flaws. What is WRONG with the water at the trailer? Most places without safe drinking water are considered uninhabitable and could possibly be condemned. Why did you let him dictate who your relationships can be with? What was wrong with your boyfriend? Was he convicted of any crimes? If so, what? Why did your ex-boyfriend not like him?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

My ex is threatoning to take me to court for custody of our 4 year old daughter because I went out with a guy he didn't approve of. When I learned he was unhappy about my new relationship, I disolved it for the sake of my daughter. Right now we have 50/50 custody no one has ever been awarded "primary custody" but it does state on some family court forms that I have primary custody - but we neve went to court for custody before, when we split we mutually decided (through dispute settlement) that we would equally share care and custody of our daughter. Our break up was messy, we were both charged with different things, thoug I ended up with a felony forgery on my record (his mother gave me permission to sign her name, then told the police I didn't have her permission just to get me arrested - and it did!). Now, I have this charge and am on probation for it, but I work full time, have allways had sole custody of my other children, never been charged by CPS, take care of my children the best way I possibly can. He on the other hand, does not work, is committing welfare fraud by working under the table while on full social services benefits, has had a marijuanna history (though he tells me is clean, but I don't believe that for a minute), he lives in a trailer that doesn't even have proper running water - you can not take a bath there or drink the water - he takes my daughter to his mothers for a bath. He also has been in trouble with family court for not paying child support for his other kids (he doesn't even see them) and could go to jail for not paying - he goes back to court in a few weeks. He lost is drivers license so far.

My question is, what are my chances at obtaining full custody of my daughter if he takes me to court? I am not filing papers against him but if he files against me for custody, what are my chances of winning since I have the forgery charge as compared to his current living situation.

Thank you!

Well, since you got rid of the boyfriend, no chance at all since there is no "change in circumstance". Heck, his lack of running water alone might give YOU primary custody and a primary timeshare.

However, if you were still dating the boyfriend, you would have to give us details on what he objects to about the boyfriend.

 

[TakenForGranted]

The guy I was seeing was much younger than me and he apparently knows my daughters fathers ex-girlfreind....(I belive it is just jeolosy). so he just doesn't like him. But I did't want to make waves and end up in court like I had to do with my last ex, so I appeased him by telling this new guy that I couldn't jeopardize my realtionship with my daughter by seeing him. I just want to be sure that the probation thing doesn't get the better part of me. He has been arrested (before we met) for DWI so yes we both have our flaws, but I don't think either of them are serios enough to change custody. I guess I should just wait and see what he does, he threatons me all the time that he will take our daughter away from me - I just want it to stop and to get along for her sake. Thank you for your advise, if you think of anything new, please let me know.

 

[Ohiogal]

He got a DWI before YOU met and procreated with him and you think that NOW that matters? Ummm, no.

 

[BL]

I very much doubt he would be awarded primary custody based solely on what you have provided .

Child support and custody/visits are separate issues in your case .

 

[TakenForGranted]

OHIOGIL - I was simply trying to clear up if he had a criminal record, I wasn't suggesting anything else - lighten up. People are here to help one another with legal questions to better understand their situation and the system, we certainly don't need people like you casting stones at us!!!!!!!!!

LDiJ & BL - thank you for your assitance, this site needs more users that don't judge, but are here to help. Have a great day!

 

[Silverplum]

OHIOGIL - I was simply trying to clear up if he had a criminal record, I wasn't suggesting anything else - lighten up. People are here to help one another with legal questions to better understand their situation and the system, we certainly don't need people like you casting stones at us!!!!!!!!!

LDiJ & BL - thank you for your assitance, this site needs more users that don't judge, but are here to help. Have a great day!

Count yourself lucky you got free help from a practicing family law attorney, and be grateful instead of snotty.

Next time you come back, EXPECT your snotty little remarks to be held against you. Guaranteed.

 

[BL]

OHIOGIL - I was simply trying to clear up if he had a criminal record, I wasn't suggesting anything else - lighten up. People are here to help one another with legal questions to better understand their situation and the system, we certainly don't need people like you casting stones at us!!!!!!!!!

LDiJ & BL - thank you for your assitance, this site needs more users that don't judge, but are here to help. Have a great day!

You need to look at what ifs .

What if the X takes you to court .

You wouldn't want to go into court mudslinging , and Ohiogal's response is what you'd here in court , if you were to mudsling .

Take it a lesson , and preparation for what ifs .

If he actually files , you can gain a lot of knowledge and advise here , if you keep your jets cool .

 

[Ohiogal]

Count yourself lucky you got free help from a practicing family law attorney, and be grateful instead of snotty.

Next time you come back, EXPECT your snotty little remarks to be held against you. Guaranteed.

She was not talking to me. She was talking to the FISH from Ohio. Hence the OHIOGIL!

Hmmm... damn that could be why I have started growing scales. ARRGH! I always wanted to be able to live underwater even if it is not the year 3000. Now excuse me while I continue singing:

He said, I've been to the year 3000.
Not much has changed but they lived under water,
And your great great great grand daughter,
Is doing fine (is doing fine).

I took a trip to the year 3000.
This song had gone multi-platinum.
Everybody bought our 7th album.
It had outsold Kelly Clarkson.
I took a trip to the year 3000.
This song had gone multi-platinum.
Everybody bought our 7th album, 7th album, 7th album.