Visiting Rights Revoked

[water_bills]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? UTAH

I want to get my ex husband's visiting rights revoked. Before you all jump on me for being a bad person (I have posted in here before) I will try to include EVERY detail of my story. OK. Here we go. (Deep breath).

In March of this year, my ex husband petitioned the court for visiting rights of our two children (boy, age 6, girl, age 3). He didn't have visiting rights because he refused to take the parenting class which is required in the state of Utah to get a divorce, so the judge granted me the divorce (after a year) and revoked his visiting rights upon completion of the parenting class.

We were divorced in October of 2006. In January of 2007 my ex husband went to prison on felony convictions relating to drugs and alcohol (among lesser crimes). He remained incarcerated until February of this year. In March, he petitioned the court to gain his visiting rights back as he had taken the parenting class while in prison.

At court I pleaded for supervised visitation as my ex husband has a long history of drug and alcohol abuse, and subsequently, everything that comes along with that (he was verbally and physically abusive) citing that he had just barely been released from prison. The Judge ignored my pleads and granted him full visitation as could be worked out by both sides, OR as designated by state law.

At the time, we lived 4 hours away from each other, and I was planning a move across the country. Because of this, my ex husband insisted on extended parent time. We agreed that he would have the children for the whole month of July (the month before I moved) rather than every other weekend until my move.

The children spent the month of July with him, as planned. Two days before it was time for me to pick the kids up, according to him, he decided to move out of his apartment. Two days before that, his roommate called me and told me she was kicking him out as soon as I got my kids back. She told me he was verbally and physically abusive to her, and she couldn't handle it any more. I asked her about my children, and she said that he was not physically abusive to her in their presence. Regardless of what actually happened, he moved out of her house and as far as I know, was staying with his mother because that is where I picked my children up at. I had asked him if he had a place to live when he told me he was moving out and he said it was none of my business. I had asked him if he still had a job, and he said that was also none of my business.

I didn't really care about any of that. All I wanted was to get my children back. I picked them up on August 1st. If you are wondering how they acted when they came home.. Well, they were acting a little weird and jumpy.. a little more out of control than usual, and it took me a month or so to get my three year old potty trained again (to be fair, she wasn't 100 % potty trained before), and my son to stop telling me he hated me. These things I expected from them spending so much time with him. They did tell me a lot of great stories about their dad and his girlfriend and it sounded like they had a lot of fun while they were there.

My ex husband called maybe 4 times during the month of August, and talked to the children twice. Twice he called me noticeably intoxicated, one of which he spoke with my son.

On September 2 my ex husband broke his parole and was sent back to prison. I am not exactly sure what he did, but his step mom told me she spoke with his case worker who said it had something to do with alcohol and that he was also in possession of a controlled substance. Just under 6 months after his release, he is back in prison.

Because we live 7 states apart from each other, he is entitled to extended parent time, or every other holiday and half the summer. I am VERY concerned about having my children spend so much time with him IF and WHEN he is released. I want to petition the court for revocation of his visitation rights. If I had it my way I would require of him that he remain clean and sober for at least 6 months, maintain the same employment for at least 6 months, and hold the same residence for at least 6 months. (In the time that he was out, he had three different residences, at least three different jobs, and obviously did not remain clean and sober). I don't think this is asking for too much.

I am financially unable to hire an attorney, period. I make just over $1,000 a month. Legal services will not help me because there has been no reports of abuse within the last two years. I have been told to flat out write the judge a letter, but everything I read says this would be illegal. Is there any advice anyone can offer me? I can't bare the thought of my children having to be in his custody knowing that there is a possibility he would be intoxicated. How can I legally be forced to place them in an unsafe environment?

Thank you!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? UTAH

I want to get my ex husband's visiting rights revoked. Before you all jump on me for being a bad person (I have posted in here before) I will try to include EVERY detail of my story. OK. Here we go. (Deep breath).

In March of this year, my ex husband petitioned the court for visiting rights of our two children (boy, age 6, girl, age 3). He didn't have visiting rights because he refused to take the parenting class which is required in the state of Utah to get a divorce, so the judge granted me the divorce (after a year) and revoked his visiting rights upon completion of the parenting class.

We were divorced in October of 2006. In January of 2007 my ex husband went to prison on felony convictions relating to drugs and alcohol (among lesser crimes). He remained incarcerated until February of this year. In March, he petitioned the court to gain his visiting rights back as he had taken the parenting class while in prison.

At court I pleaded for supervised visitation as my ex husband has a long history of drug and alcohol abuse, and subsequently, everything that comes along with that (he was verbally and physically abusive) citing that he had just barely been released from prison. The Judge ignored my pleads and granted him full visitation as could be worked out by both sides, OR as designated by state law.

At the time, we lived 4 hours away from each other, and I was planning a move across the country. Because of this, my ex husband insisted on extended parent time. We agreed that he would have the children for the whole month of July (the month before I moved) rather than every other weekend until my move.

The children spent the month of July with him, as planned. Two days before it was time for me to pick the kids up, according to him, he decided to move out of his apartment. Two days before that, his roommate called me and told me she was kicking him out as soon as I got my kids back. She told me he was verbally and physically abusive to her, and she couldn't handle it any more. I asked her about my children, and she said that he was not physically abusive to her in their presence. Regardless of what actually happened, he moved out of her house and as far as I know, was staying with his mother because that is where I picked my children up at. I had asked him if he had a place to live when he told me he was moving out and he said it was none of my business. I had asked him if he still had a job, and he said that was also none of my business.

I didn't really care about any of that. All I wanted was to get my children back. I picked them up on August 1st. If you are wondering how they acted when they came home.. Well, they were acting a little weird and jumpy.. a little more out of control than usual, and it took me a month or so to get my three year old potty trained again (to be fair, she wasn't 100 % potty trained before), and my son to stop telling me he hated me. These things I expected from them spending so much time with him. They did tell me a lot of great stories about their dad and his girlfriend and it sounded like they had a lot of fun while they were there.

My ex husband called maybe 4 times during the month of August, and talked to the children twice. Twice he called me noticeably intoxicated, one of which he spoke with my son.

On September 2 my ex husband broke his parole and was sent back to prison. I am not exactly sure what he did, but his step mom told me she spoke with his case worker who said it had something to do with alcohol and that he was also in possession of a controlled substance. Just under 6 months after his release, he is back in prison.

Because we live 7 states apart from each other, he is entitled to extended parent time, or every other holiday and half the summer. I am VERY concerned about having my children spend so much time with him IF and WHEN he is released. I want to petition the court for revocation of his visitation rights. If I had it my way I would require of him that he remain clean and sober for at least 6 months, maintain the same employment for at least 6 months, and hold the same residence for at least 6 months. (In the time that he was out, he had three different residences, at least three different jobs, and obviously did not remain clean and sober). I don't think this is asking for too much.

I am financially unable to hire an attorney, period. I make just over $1,000 a month. Legal services will not help me because there has been no reports of abuse within the last two years. I have been told to flat out write the judge a letter, but everything I read says this would be illegal. Is there any advice anyone can offer me? I can't bare the thought of my children having to be in his custody knowing that there is a possibility he would be intoxicated. How can I legally be forced to place them in an unsafe environment?

Thank you!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

unless he's a danger to his children while drinking you may not have much of a case. but you don't even know when he's getting out do you? same employment? he's not the CP, you are, so he isn't held to the same standards as you would be. residence, again, he's the NCP, you can't hold him to CP standards.

my suggestion, i'd ask for a graduated plan. find out more about his criminal history. maybe supervised visitation for a few months in your area, something of that nature. it wouldn't hurt to ask in your case. the likelyhood the judge getting so ticked off at you he hands over custody to dad is very slim. but don't try cutting dad out entirely.

 

[water_bills]

unless he's a danger to his children while drinking you may not have much of a case. but you don't even know when he's getting out do you? same employment? he's not the CP, you are, so he isn't held to the same standards as you would be. residence, again, he's the NCP, you can't hold him to CP standards.

my suggestion, i'd ask for a graduated plan. find out more about his criminal history. maybe supervised visitation for a few months in your area, something of that nature. it wouldn't hurt to ask in your case. the likelyhood the judge getting so ticked off at you he hands over custody to dad is very slim. but don't try cutting dad out entirely.

Okay, so how do I go about doing this?

 

[MichaCA]

I didn't see anywhere in your posts that said what custody you have - legal and physical...is it joint or shared?

Drive to your county courthouse office tomorrow and inquire what self help areas they have. Thats the first step. If there is a self help area, then they can answer these questions and lead you to the right paperwork. If they do NOT have a self help area...someone here will give you the google site...for your local county and self help laws.

It seems you are asking for a modification of (don't know your legal status) - to sole in both areas, with dad having supervised visits when he gets out.

I often think in this case hiring an inexpensive paralegal would be helpful to help you with the correct forms.

I agree...do NOT try to eliminate the dad from any custody...you just allowed one month with him in the same conditions....and the court will not be favorable....ask for the supervised visits and the response laid out above me.

 

[water_bills]

Yeah, actually, I guess I got carried away. Looking at it logically the threats that are presented toward my children IF they were placed in his care would be neglect and verbal and psychological abuse. Not to say that I am sure this would definitely occur, but the threat is present. I don't think these threats, however, warrant complete revocation of his visiting rights. This supervised visitation is more probable. But, we live in two different states, 1800 miles apart. How would supervised visitation work? I have only lived here for 2 months, so this is still all in Utah's court, as well.

I have sole custody. He has visitation rights. Oh, and I also have a permanent protective order against him. He is not allowed to come to my residence, place of business, or school. He is also over $7,000 overdue in child support.

How would going to MY local county court help when I don't live in Utah?

 

[MichaCA]

It sounds like the first step is to move the court case to the state where you are established. That should not be hard to do..and someone here could tell you exactly what to do...although my advice remains the same...be prooactive...go to your county courthouse (where hearings will be heard down the road), and get info on what services they offer.

You will have a diff judge and diff prodeedings...they surely can't be worse than the last one's.

 

[water_bills]

As far as I understand, I would have to be a resident here for at least 6 months before I can get the case moved. Hopefully he'll be incarcerated for the right amount of time allowing me to do so.

Out of everyone I have spoken with, your advice makes the most sense. Thank you!!

 

[happybug]

If your EXH is still living in the state where the original orders were filed, your case will remain there no matter how long you and the kids live in your new state.

 

[MichaCA]

See, if I were a senior on here, or you talked to a good attorney they would have caught this...I do see in your original post you are now 4 hours apart...but it would help to clarify...who moved, when, what were the circumstances.... I see I have NO idea of your current situation and that possibly could impact things legally.

I am speaking from exp in my case, reading other peoples cases, and occasionally good ol common sense. So I don't want to put myself down. YET, I am NOT a legal expert. So take my advice to a senior here and/or hire an atty for one hour before you act,. to get concrete legal advice.

OK, so dad did not contest the move...so all is good. BUT..when did you move...at what state of visitation were children at when you moved? Worse case scenerio is judge wonders if you are taking dadss incarceration to your benefit. Thats worst case. Its clear to me as a reader that this is not the first time, ongoing major issues in dads life...yet it still would be good to describe your move, why you moved...where it was in the midst of all this...before going in front of a judge.This is all because your recent (?) move would be looked at by the judge and same questions asked....YET I cannot see a reason to object to your move since dad is mostly u/a.

In the end its back to the beg of your post...I think its wise to take to court while dad away again in trouble...state your request for sup visits, that dad pays for, and that they stay in place until dad can provide a proven record of clean drug and alchohol testing for one year, and contact with his probation officer...or the courts to have contact with Prob. officer records. You won't get that...but request it. The only way out of this hell hole is to get a psych eval/custody eval going...major bucks and in this case you migh be ordered to pay all...and get the BEST eval happening...to detail out the inherent dangers to childs life this unstable man proposes.

I still think Overall (and sorry so wordy - I process as I write), that things could not go worse in your current state...it would just be helpful if you discussed upfront your move.

 

[water_bills]

At the time that he received visitation rights, we lived 4 hours apart. That was before I moved out of state. NOW we live 25 hours apart. He remans in the state of Utah.

I moved to pursue a Master's Degree.

How would supervised visitation work where we are so far apart?

 

[Ohiogal]

It sounds like the first step is to move the court case to the state where you are established. That should not be hard to do..and someone here could tell you exactly what to do...although my advice remains the same...be prooactive...go to your county courthouse (where hearings will be heard down the road), and get info on what services they offer.

You will have a diff judge and diff prodeedings...they surely can't be worse than the last one's.

YOU NEED TO QUIT. She cannot transfer the case if dad is still in UTah. YOu know nothing aobut the law so the first thing to do is learn the law before giving any advice.

OP you need to file in Utah. Did you also get permission of the court to relocate with the children?

 

[water_bills]

OP you need to file in Utah. Did you also get permission of the court to relocate with the children?

Yes. There was no objection from my ex OR the courts. My move was not an issue at all.

 

[Ohiogal]

See, if I were a senior on here, or you talked to a good attorney they would have caught this...I do see in your original post you are now 4 hours apart...but it would help to clarify...who moved, when, what were the circumstances.... I see I have NO idea of your current situation and that possibly could impact things legally.

I am speaking from exp in my case, reading other peoples cases, and occasionally good ol common sense. So I don't want to put myself down. YET, I am NOT a legal expert. So take my advice to a senior here and/or hire an atty for one hour before you act,. to get concrete legal advice.

OK, so dad did not contest the move...so all is good. BUT..when did you move...at what state of visitation were children at when you moved? Worse case scenerio is judge wonders if you are taking dadss incarceration to your benefit. Thats worst case. Its clear to me as a reader that this is not the first time, ongoing major issues in dads life...yet it still would be good to describe your move, why you moved...where it was in the midst of all this...before going in front of a judge.This is all because your recent (?) move would be looked at by the judge and same questions asked....YET I cannot see a reason to object to your move since dad is mostly u/a.

In the end its back to the beg of your post...I think its wise to take to court while dad away again in trouble...state your request for sup visits, that dad pays for, and that they stay in place until dad can provide a proven record of clean drug and alchohol testing for one year, and contact with his probation officer...or the courts to have contact with Prob. officer records. You won't get that...but request it. The only way out of this hell hole is to get a psych eval/custody eval going...major bucks and in this case you migh be ordered to pay all...and get the BEST eval happening...to detail out the inherent dangers to childs life this unstable man proposes.

I still think Overall (and sorry so wordy - I process as I write), that things could not go worse in your current state...it would just be helpful if you discussed upfront your move.

QUIT POSTING. You have no clue. None. At all. You have no idea about the laws -- including regarding relocation or custody/visitation. So just knock off posting. Seriously.Or you will be banned for constantly posting babble that means nothing.

 

[water_bills]

OP you need to file in Utah. Did you also get permission of the court to relocate with the children?

Yes, I had permission. Neither the court nor my ex objected. How do I go about filing in Utah? What would I need to file? I can't afford an attorney, AT ALL, so please don't tell me to get one!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, I had permission. Neither the court nor my ex objected. How do I go about filing in Utah? What would I need to file? I can't afford an attorney, AT ALL, so please don't tell me to get one!!!

Well you have to file in Utah if that is where dad is and you file in the court that gave you permission to move where the case is. You file a modification with the proper paperwork. You need to read the local rules which will get you started. Then the civil rules and the rules of evidence and the statutes for Utah. You have time. Dad ain't going anywhere.