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Filed for Custody

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junebug73

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

I have filed for custody of my 15 & 13 year old children. Both kids have expressed to their mother and I that they wish to live with me full time. Both kids want to talk to the judge and in my motion I asked that they be able to talk to the judge or Guardian Ad Litem without their mother or me being present so they could talk openly. Is this sufficient or is their yet another motion I need to file? Should I ask my kids if they want to write statements?

Also, because I cannot afford an attorney and I've been told I don't qualify for aid I will have to represent myself. My 15 year old daughter is a lesbian and her sexuality will have to be brought up. Her mother is allowing her to spend the night with her 14 year old girlfriend which I do not agree with. Her Mother is against her sexuality but is allowing her to do what she wants hoping my daughter will change her mind and decide she wants to stay with her. Any suggestions on how to bring this up without humiliating my daughter?
 
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TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
Considering that you have not mentioned any kind of change of cirmcumstances for the daughters, I can't see any judge changing custody just because the teens want to.
 

junebug73

Junior Member
I apologize if my post was confusing or unclear. Actually there are several changes in circumstances which is why I have filed for custody. My teenage kids did not just decide they want to live with me, their life has been turned upside down and miserable as well as being put in dangerous situations by their Mother over the last year. I have filed the appropriate documents with my custody motion.
 
What are you telling your daughter about overnights with her friend? Are you telling her that you will not allow overnights?
 

junebug73

Junior Member
Yes, I have told my daughter there will be no overnight stays and explained that although I realize sex is a reality at her age, I feel it is wrong to encourage it regardless of her sexuality. She is allowed to date, she is not allowed to spend the night.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Yes, I have told my daughter there will be no overnight stays and explained that although I realize sex is a reality at her age, I feel it is wrong to encourage it regardless of her sexuality. She is allowed to date, she is not allowed to spend the night.
So she is allowed no sleepovers with any girls even when other girls are doing that because of her sexual orientation? Can she have guys sleep over?
 

junebug73

Junior Member
So she is allowed no sleepovers with any girls even when other girls are doing that because of her sexual orientation? Can she have guys sleep over?
Come again???? I have read this at least 5 times and have no idea where you're trying to go with it. I will not encourage my 15 year old daughter to have sex is the bottom line. I really don't see how these replies regarding her sexuality and me not encouraging her to have sex answers the question that I asked.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Come again???? I have read this at least 5 times and have no idea where you're trying to go with it. I will not encourage my 15 year old daughter to have sex is the bottom line. I really don't see how these replies regarding her sexuality and me not encouraging her to have sex answers the question that I asked.
IMO, you're being given a tiny taste of what you're going to face in Court.

It doesn't matter if you don't get it. What matters is what the Judge hears and thinks.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Come again???? I have read this at least 5 times and have no idea where you're trying to go with it. I will not encourage my 15 year old daughter to have sex is the bottom line. I really don't see how these replies regarding her sexuality and me not encouraging her to have sex answers the question that I asked.
No one said you should encourage it. However you are penalizing your daughter for her sexuality. You don't understand and that is an issue. Try thinking about it. Will your younger daughter be able to go to slumber parties with friends who are girls?
 

truebluemd

Senior Member
NO judge will change custody because only one of your two childrend is a lesbian. What are the other circumstances your are claiming as "change in circumstance" to get custody?
 

junebug73

Junior Member
No one said you should encourage it. However you are penalizing your daughter for her sexuality. You don't understand and that is an issue. Try thinking about it. Will your younger daughter be able to go to slumber parties with friends who are girls?
Thanks for reposting. I understand your point and I'm not trying to penalize my daughter. I am doing my best to understand and be supportive. Let me clarify on my initial post. I was referring to her current girlfriend and not allowing overnight stays. As for slumber parties or going to parties with girls, I have no issues with that. What I have an issue with is one on one overnights with someone she romantically interested in.
I don't have two daughters. I have a 15 year old daughter and a 13 year old son.
I'm not the best at expressing myself in writing but I am trying. Sometimes it just comes out a jumbled mess.
 

junebug73

Junior Member
NO judge will change custody because only one of your two childrend is a lesbian. What are the other circumstances your are claiming as "change in circumstance" to get custody?
I am not asking for custody based on my daughters sexual orientation. It will come up at the custody hearing and I'm trying to figure out a way for it to be done without humiliating my daughter. The fact that her Mother is allowing her to spend the night with her girlfriend at 15 years old is an issue not her sexual preference.
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Thanks for reposting. I understand your point and I'm not trying to penalize my daughter. I am doing my best to understand and be supportive. Let me clarify on my initial post. I was referring to her current girlfriend and not allowing overnight stays. As for slumber parties or going to parties with girls, I have no issues with that. What I have an issue with is one on one overnights with someone she romantically interested in.
I don't have two daughters. I have a 15 year old daughter and a 13 year old son.
I'm not the best at expressing myself in writing but I am trying. Sometimes it just comes out a jumbled mess.
Here is something though that you are missing. Your daughter is interested in girls. Just because it is the 14 year old currently that can change tomorrow. The only to ensure that she never haves sex is to lock her up and keep her away from any other female. Why does her orientation matter?
 

junebug73

Junior Member
Here is something though that you are missing. Your daughter is interested in girls. Just because it is the 14 year old currently that can change tomorrow. The only to ensure that she never haves sex is to lock her up and keep her away from any other female. Why does her orientation matter?
I am not saying that my daughter is not going to have sex. I do have a problem with her Mother letting her have overnight stays with the person she is having a relationship with as I feel it is encouraging sex. Actually her orientation has nothing to do with it at all. The fact that my daughter is a lesbian will more than likely come out at the custody hearing. All I'm trying to do is avoid having her humiliated.

I suppose I could say: my daughters Mother is letting her spend the night with her lover. I feel she is too young, I don't believe as parents we should be encouraging sex and I am concerned that by allowing her to have sexual relations at such a young age it could have a very negative affect on her in the future. Maybe I'm way off base I really don't know. It's not like I've ever been through this type of thing before. I do believe that allowing this to go on is poor parenting and wrong...that is my opinion. Is it not important that the judge know my 15 year old daughter is being allowed to spend the night with her lover? It doesn't really matter if that lover is male or female.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I am not saying that my daughter is not going to have sex. I do have a problem with her Mother letting her have overnight stays with the person she is having a relationship with as I feel it is encouraging sex. Actually her orientation has nothing to do with it at all. The fact that my daughter is a lesbian will more than likely come out at the custody hearing. All I'm trying to do is avoid having her humiliated.
Actually it does NOT have to come out at the custody hearing. That is a CHOICE you are making.


I suppose I could say: my daughters Mother is letting her spend the night with her lover.
Really? You KNOW that your daughter would engage in sex with this person? You know that she would have a sexual relationship with this person? You know that that has happened in the past AND you can PROVE it? If not then you cannot say that.

I feel she is too young, I don't believe as parents we should be encouraging sex and I am concerned that by allowing her to have sexual relations at such a young age it could have a very negative affect on her in the future.
Good opinion. And the law supports you. But rather than using this as a point of attack, have you talked to your daughter about this?


Maybe I'm way off base I really don't know. It's not like I've ever been through this type of thing before.
You were a teenager. You know what you felt like. You can't TALK to your daughter? But you can announce it in open court?

I do believe that allowing this to go on is poor parenting and wrong...that is my opinion.
What exactly is going on?

Is it not important that the judge know my 15 year old daughter is being allowed to spend the night with her lover? It doesn't really matter if that lover is male or female.
You are 100% positive that your daughter has a 14 year old lover? You are 100% definite about that/ Truthfully that is not important for the judge to know so much as it is something that is important for YOU to deal with. You sound like someone who cannot deal with it and expects the court to parent. Back up about 10 paces and determine what it is you actually KNOW. Then determine what it is you are afraid of. Then determine how you can approach your daughter for an adult conversation about this entire subject. And then make decisions based on fact, not fear or assumptions.
 

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