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Child custody question

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tila6383

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ohio

I'm a step parent concerned about my step daughter. My bf is behind in child support, just to be honest. He has court in January to determine whether or not to spend 30 days in jail. He pays over 400$ a month for 1 7 yr old child and only make 7.85 an hour which leaves no money to pay any sort of bills or rent. They had lowered it when the child was 3, but has no record that they had done so. But the child has wanted to live with us ever since she was 2 years old! We would love to have her full time because her mother doesn't do things the way we think a mother should. She pawns her off on anybody she can every weekend. There has been times in the past 5 years that she would keep the child from the father just because she feels like it, we have went 6 to 7 months at one point without seeing her at all. She drinks all the time, I have pictures that she puts up on a website of herself pretty much drunk in every picture. Last year she missed so much of school because the child's mom didn't feel like getting up. There's been numerous occasions that the child needed to go to the doctors and she never took her. The mother had lived with her mom until she was about 24 ( it's a 2 bdrm apt ) where she would have different guys come over and stay the night when her and her daughter had shared a room and did god knows what in front of her child. ( the child would tell us how they seen so and so sleeping in mommy's bed and how they said they was wrestling or what not ) The child's mother now has her own how Finally. And had a boyfriend who held her down ( not positive if he hit her or what ) in front of her child. She talks to another boy and has dated off and on for the past 5 years or so who had went to jail for breaking his own kids legs. We just feel that the child would be better off living with us because of the fact that we do spend time with the child we make sure they are being taken care of and if they needed to see the doctor we would make sure that they are seen! I don't know how the whole custody thing works especially because he is behind in child support, but he's very good with his child and does everything he can to make sure the child has what they need! The economy sucks and it is hard to find a job, which is no excuse he needs to pay his part and he knows that. I'm the one that's stuck paying everything and keeping it together. But for the child's sake I'm hoping there's some hope that one day he can get custody. I just need some advice I guess you could say. Thank you
 


TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
Legally, there is no we and you cannot be a step-parent until you marry a child's father. Even then, you will remain a legal stranger to the child, with no rights and no say-so.
 

tila6383

Junior Member
I'm not saying that I could do anything I'm speaking on his behalf to see if there is anything he can do.

Were looking at the better behalf of the child and that's it. And having the child around a drunk who pawns the child off on everybody just so she doesn't have to care for them is just wrong in my bood. I am pregnant due in a couple of months and would never even think of doing anything of what she does.

So again my question is even tho he's behind is there anyway that one day he could get custody when it's the child saying who they want to live with.
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ohio

I'm a step parent concerned about my step daughter. My bf is behind in child support, just to be honest. He has court in January to determine whether or not to spend 30 days in jail. He pays over 400$ a month for 1 7 yr old child and only make 7.85 an hour which leaves no money to pay any sort of bills or rent.
Does this 400 per month include arrears? I can't see any way that they would order him to pay that much when he makes less than $8.00 and hour...so I'm guessing he either has arrears added in, or he had a better job before and cannot now convince the court that he is not voluntarily underemployed.
They had lowered it when the child was 3, but has no record that they had done so. But the child has wanted to live with us ever since she was 2 years old!
Children at 2 years old have no idea.


We would love to have her full time because her mother doesn't do things the way we think a mother should.
It is not up to you to determine how the mother should parent this child, that attitude will only hurt your boyfriend's court experience.


She pawns her off on anybody she can every weekend.
1. How do you know this?
2. Can you prove it?
3. Every weekend? Dad never has a weekend?
4. When she does "pawn" the child off, is the child properly cared for?



There has been times in the past 5 years that she would keep the child from the father just because she feels like it, we have went 6 to 7 months at one point without seeing her at all.
What does dad's court order for visitation say about when he should have the child?

She drinks all the time, I have pictures that she puts up on a website of herself pretty much drunk in every picture.
Could all of the pictures been from the same event? Or the same few events? How does it indicate she drinks every day and the drinking negatively impacts the child?


Last year she missed so much of school because the child's mom didn't feel like getting up.
How much school?


There's been numerous occasions that the child needed to go to the doctors and she never took her.
Like when? Did dad subsequently take the child to the doctor? What was the negative result of the child not going to the doctor when mom should have taken the child and didn't?

The mother had lived with her mom until she was about 24 ( it's a 2 bdrm apt ) where she would have different guys come over and stay the night when her and her daughter had shared a room and did god knows what in front of her child. ( the child would tell us how they seen so and so sleeping in mommy's bed and how they said they was wrestling or what not ) The child's mother now has her own how Finally. And had a boyfriend who held her down ( not positive if he hit her or what ) in front of her child. She talks to another boy and has dated off and on for the past 5 years or so who had went to jail for breaking his own kids legs.
All of this really kind of is gossip, and unless you can prove some of the more serious items...aren't really going to get you anywhere.
We just feel that the child would be better off living with us because of the fact that we do spend time with the child we make sure they are being taken care of and if they needed to see the doctor we would make sure that they are seen!
Is it one child or two?

I don't know how the whole custody thing works especially because he is behind in child support, but he's very good with his child and does everything he can to make sure the child has what they need! The economy sucks and it is hard to find a job, which is no excuse he needs to pay his part and he knows that. I'm the one that's stuck paying everything and keeping it together. But for the child's sake I'm hoping there's some hope that one day he can get custody. I just need some advice I guess you could say. Thank you

I didn't actually see a question, I am not sure what advice to give you. It appears that you think some of this may be a smoking gun, it's really not. Presently PROPERLY, with the right evidence, a couple of the items you mentioned would be enough to at least have the judge consider having custody modified...but the rest, no way.
 

tila6383

Junior Member
I think maybe 75 is back pay, but with them lowering it once and having no record of it really sucks. When it was first added up he did have a good job, but seasonal and it went down. So he does what he can to make do. If it wasn't for me he'd be homeless.

She is 7 now, I was just saying that since she was 2 her mind has never changed.

I know everybody parents their child differently, but not to this extent. Sry I must disagree when a child isn't getting the proper care it is to be looked down on - I don't care who you are.

Everybody knows she pawns her off because the child is a blabber mouth and tells all. She stays alot with her uncle - who is a sex offender - And yes it can be proved otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned it. The mother does not have her on wknds either the childs grandma does or the uncle or her nina or us. But because she's getting older she's making her own decisions on coming over to see her dad. And she's not stupid his daughter knows who the one that says no you can't go over there or whatever. And I'm not saying she's not being properly taken care of I'm just concerned, that everybody else has her when he's missing out on time with his daughter.

He's supposed to get her every other weekend and every wed. Which the past month it's been the way it should, but for how long?

The pictures are from different occasions and I get that basically from his daughter coming over and telling on her everytime she gets drunk. I don't need pictures or have to make up that story. Kids are blabber mouth's and well tell on everything you do.

Last year every week she would call or he would call there was always 1 day she would miss if not every week - every other week. And his daughter's response to her not going would be - my dont wake up- nevermind the school is 5 min. down the road.

It's not gossip if it's the truth and everything I say is something I am concerned about. Would you not be concerned if you baby mama or baby daddy was sharing a room with your child bringing in random guys or girls and having sexual relations while they are in there sleeping... I would certainly hope not.. It's not a laughing matter.. And it's certainly not a joke when your 5 year old or 6 year old is coming to you telling you this stuff over and over again.

And my question was::


even tho he's behind is there anyway that one day he could get custody when it's the child saying who they want to live with.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
One day he MIGHT get custody. But he needs ADMISSIBLE evidence tha tproves everything you are saying and more. He also needs to show why he has done nothing to help his daughter if mom is neglecting her.
 

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