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Representing myself ex in contempt of decree

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staynsingle

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kansas

My Divorce has been final for 16months. Final divorce decree said that the house goes to my ex and he was to refinance it in 60 days and that the court would have jurisdiction over the matter. I signed a quit claim deed at the time the divorce was final. He still has not refinanced. He has had a host of excuses that may or may not be true originally he said he couldn't get a loan then he said he got approved but a down payment was required and he can't afford that, also now he says that he wants to sell the house but wants to sell it "by owner" because he can't afford real estate commission.

Bottom line...nothing has happened in 16 months. I am still paying off my attorney (and many other debts) from the divorce and cannot afford to retain her services at this time. I want my name removed from the mortgage. His job is not secure and although he has paid the payments so far, I don't feel I can run the risk of him not being able to pay the payments because I won't be able to afford to pay them. What should I do? Should I attempt to hold him in contempt and represent myself? Is this a good option? If so...where do I start? What steps would I need to take to even do that??
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kansas

My Divorce has been final for 16months. Final divorce decree said that the house goes to my ex and he was to refinance it in 60 days and that the court would have jurisdiction over the matter. I signed a quit claim deed at the time the divorce was final. He still has not refinanced. He has had a host of excuses that may or may not be true originally he said he couldn't get a loan then he said he got approved but a down payment was required and he can't afford that, also now he says that he wants to sell the house but wants to sell it "by owner" because he can't afford real estate commission.

Bottom line...nothing has happened in 16 months. I am still paying off my attorney (and many other debts) from the divorce and cannot afford to retain her services at this time. I want my name removed from the mortgage. His job is not secure and although he has paid the payments so far, I don't feel I can run the risk of him not being able to pay the payments because I won't be able to afford to pay them. What should I do? Should I attempt to hold him in contempt and represent myself? Is this a good option? If so...where do I start? What steps would I need to take to even do that??
As you're now seeing, you should never have signed a quit claim deed until your name was off the mortgage.

There's no way to force the bank to take your name off the mortgage, although some will do so voluntarily if the account is current. So I would start by contacting the bank with a copy of your divorce decree and ask them if they will remove you from the mortgage. It sometimes works and only costs you the price of a few copies and postage.

If that doesn't work, I would not suggest that you take it on yourself. Some people are capable of doing it, but they are the ones who would have researched the court rules and procedures by now and might have only a technical question. In my experience, people who start with "what should I do? I don't know how to get started" are not likely to have a successful outcome without an attorney.

You really have two options:
1. Try to 'encourage' him to proceed with what he's supposed to do. Send him a certified letter reminding him that he is more than a year past the date when he is ordered to have refinanced the house and if he has not sold or refinanced the house within 60 days you will be filing for contempt. He is clearly in the wrong, so that may get him moving.
2. At this time, you could file for contempt (ideally with an attorney), but since you can't yet demonstrate any harm (he hasn't defaulted), you're going to be paying the legal expenses. If you wait until he defaults (which potentially harms your credit rating), then you can have an attorney file for contempt and ask the court to award your legal fees.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
From some of what you said, it sounds to me as though there is not enough equity in the house, at this time, to allow him to successfully refinance or sell the house with a realtor.

That is problematic. A judge cannot force someone to give him a loan. A judge cannot force someone to give him a loan without a down payment. A judge could force him to use a realtor, but since you are also on the mortgage, if its upside down at closing, you will be equally responsible to the lender for the balance due on the mortgage.

However, if there is anyone out there that can help him (ie family) if you put the pressure on be filing for contempt, he may go after that help.
 

staynsingle

Junior Member
yes I got bad legal advice the first time

As you're now seeing, you should never have signed a quit claim deed until your name was off the mortgage.

There's no way to force the bank to take your name off the mortgage, although some will do so voluntarily if the account is current. So I would start by contacting the bank with a copy of your divorce decree and ask them if they will remove you from the mortgage. It sometimes works and only costs you the price of a few copies and postage.

If that doesn't work, I would not suggest that you take it on yourself. Some people are capable of doing it, but they are the ones who would have researched the court rules and procedures by now and might have only a technical question. In my experience, people who start with "what should I do? I don't know how to get started" are not likely to have a successful outcome without an attorney.

You really have two options:
1. Try to 'encourage' him to proceed with what he's supposed to do. Send him a certified letter reminding him that he is more than a year past the date when he is ordered to have refinanced the house and if he has not sold or refinanced the house within 60 days you will be filing for contempt. He is clearly in the wrong, so that may get him moving.
2. At this time, you could file for contempt (ideally with an attorney), but since you can't yet demonstrate any harm (he hasn't defaulted), you're going to be paying the legal expenses. If you wait until he defaults (which potentially harms your credit rating), then you can have an attorney file for contempt and ask the court to award your legal fees.
It was my attorney's advice to give him the quit claim deed, which I know now is bad advice.
This is why I am reluctant to pay a lawyer if I don't have to. I will do my research and go from there. I thought this would be a good place to start but maybe not.
I've tried working with the bank directly but they say it has to be refinanced. You are right, there isn't enough equity in the house really and I've spent many months trying to "encourage" him and I've already tried to get his family to help him. I'm not going to wait till he defaults on the mortgage to do anything about it either, that is about the same as doing nothing in my opinion.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
It was my attorney's advice to give him the quit claim deed, which I know now is bad advice.
This is why I am reluctant to pay a lawyer if I don't have to. I will do my research and go from there. I thought this would be a good place to start but maybe not.
I've tried working with the bank directly but they say it has to be refinanced. You are right, there isn't enough equity in the house really and I've spent many months trying to "encourage" him and I've already tried to get his family to help him. I'm not going to wait till he defaults on the mortgage to do anything about it either, that is about the same as doing nothing in my opinion.
Then you're going to have to go to court to have him held in contempt and order the house sold.

Of course, the risk is that if you force the house to be sold quickly, it is likely to get less money and the mortgage could be more than the house sells for. If you work with him to sell it in a more reasonable time frame, you may be better off.

Whether you like it or not, he's not doing you any harm as long as he continues to pay the mortgage. If you tell the bank to notify you in the event that he misses a payment, you'll have plenty of time to act before the house is foreclosed. That very well may be your best option.
 

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