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Father wants to force adoption

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antigone

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OREGON

The possible father of my soon-to-be born child has threatened to take action to have this child taken from me if I don't give it up for adoption. He stated that he will support me to the end if I give it up for adoption, but if I choose to keep it, he will do everything in his power to make sure I'm not allowed to raise it. I have other children and their father has no big issues with how I raise them. What action can I take to ensure that this doesn't happen? And when I reiterate my intentions of raising this child on my own, how do I ensure that I am not threatened and harassed further when the child is born? Also, if he wants to give it up for adoption anyways, is there any way to relinquish his parental rights to custody? Please help this Oregon mother who just wants a peaceful birth.
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OREGON

The possible father of my soon-to-be born child has threatened to take action to have this child taken from me if I don't give it up for adoption. He stated that he will support me to the end if I give it up for adoption, but if I choose to keep it, he will do everything in his power to make sure I'm not allowed to raise it. I have other children and their father has no big issues with how I raise them. What action can I take to ensure that this doesn't happen?
He's blowing lots of hot air. It likely makes him feel happy.
antigone said:
And when I reiterate my intentions of raising this child on my own, how do I ensure that I am not threatened and harassed further when the child is born?
You don't have to talk with him, if you choose not to talk with him right now.
He IS going to be the father of your baby -- you WILL have to talk with him at some point.
You're making him very unhappy. He's voicing his unhappiness. It's not the end of the world.
antigone said:
Also, if he wants to give it up for adoption anyways, is there any way to relinquish his parental rights to custody? Please help this Oregon mother who just wants a peaceful birth.
No.
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OREGON

The possible father of my soon-to-be born child has threatened to take action to have this child taken from me if I don't give it up for adoption. He stated that he will support me to the end if I give it up for adoption, but if I choose to keep it, he will do everything in his power to make sure I'm not allowed to raise it. I have other children and their father has no big issues with how I raise them. What action can I take to ensure that this doesn't happen? And when I reiterate my intentions of raising this child on my own, how do I ensure that I am not threatened and harassed further when the child is born? Also, if he wants to give it up for adoption anyways, is there any way to relinquish his parental rights to custody? Please help this Oregon mother who just wants a peaceful birth.
Ignore him until after the birth and you are feeling better.

Then file for support.

He can then turn around and file for visitation, and he will get visitation. But it is highly unlikely that he will get custody.

And he cannot force you to give your baby up for adoption.

He's just trying to intimidate you. Ignore him. Change your number, filter your email, don't let him upset your end of your pregnancy.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Your soon to be baby doesn't have a father. And you SHOULD NOT be referring to your child as an IT. That is just insulting.
 
Your soon to be baby doesn't have a father. And you SHOULD NOT be referring to your child as an IT. That is just insulting.
She should keep her baby, and A) file for support, maybe share custody when all kinds of things could go wrong, or B) leave him off the birth cert and call it immaculate conception.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Humusluvr

Senior Member
Your soon to be baby doesn't have a father. And you SHOULD NOT be referring to your child as an IT. That is just insulting.
I'm going to have to disagree with you.

When the baby comes out, the doctor says "IT'S a boy," or "IT'S a girl!!"

And, you should say, "Until paternity is established through an AOP or court of law, the baby has no legal father." Cuz we all know this ain't the virgin birth.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
She should keep her baby, and A) file for support, maybe share custody when all kinds of things could go wrong, or B) leave him off the birth cert and call it immaculate conception.
Oh good grief. Neither of those is a legal response as she cannot put him on the birth certificate without a court order after paternity is established. And she doesn't have to consent to share custody. Nor does she HAVE to file for support unless she is receiving state aid.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I'm going to have to disagree with you.

When the baby comes out, the doctor says "IT'S a boy," or "IT'S a girl!!"

And, you should say, "Until paternity is established through an AOP or court of law, the baby has no legal father." Cuz we all know this ain't the virgin birth.
Actually I have heard, "You HAVE a baby girl!" or "You have a baby boy!" As for the second statement I agree. I should have phrased it that way. I knwo this isn't the virgin birth. She had sex. The baby however doesn't have a legal father at this point.
 

momofrose

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OREGON

The possible father of my soon-to-be born child has threatened to take action to have this child taken from me if I don't give it up for adoption. He stated that he will support me to the end if I give it up for adoption, but if I choose to keep it, he will do everything in his power to make sure I'm not allowed to raise it. I have other children and their father has no big issues with how I raise them. What action can I take to ensure that this doesn't happen? And when I reiterate my intentions of raising this child on my own, how do I ensure that I am not threatened and harassed further when the child is born? Also, if he wants to give it up for adoption anyways, is there any way to relinquish his parental rights to custody? Please help this Oregon mother who just wants a peaceful birth.
The possible father? So you don't even know if this guy is the father? You can simply tell him that at this point YOu are th eonly legal parent of this child. Since you do not know if he is the father, after you give birth you can ask for a DNA test to prove him to be the father. At that point he would be considered the father.

He has no right to force an adoption (by the way the correct woring is "placing the baby for adoption" not "giving it up for adoption". Just as a mother could not place a child for adoption without notifying the father and letting him be able to contest.

At this pount, you can tell him to pound sand - he'll get farther.
 

truebluemd

Senior Member
If your not married to the "possible father" then don't even consent to an AOP if he wants it. Have him take a court ordered DNA test and then file for custody and child support, if he is the father. As of when the child is born, you will be the only parent with legal rights to the child.

I agree, enjoy your pregnancy and ignore him to the end. It's not uncommon for some "possible fathers" who object to their "possible unborn child" to say things to play mindgames to get you to do what they want. You should not be subject to such stress during your pregnancy. Find a support group for single and pregnant women, and keep educating yourself on your legal rights in your state. It helped me a lot
 

JacobJoel

Member
Birth mom

I am a birth mom. this means i relinquished my baby for adoption, and, as another poster so adroitly noted, i did NOT 'give him away', i placed him, lovingly, in a home that could care for him.

what this man is attempting to do is totally illegal, that is 'pressuring' a pregnant woman to give up their baby.

totally. illegal.

geez...there are tons of stories all over the news about the mess the adoptions of other countries are in due to people illegally taking newborns from their mothers.

i'm at a loss to give you guidance on where to begin your research, but i can garuntee you that you can tell this schmuck that what he is suggesting is totally illegal and he can find himself doing some kind of time for even bringing it up.

i hope someont can help me out here, this topic is to close for me to come up with what to google....
 

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