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Fathers Day

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californiamom3

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA
NCP emailed me on Monday telling me that both of his (mutually agreed) supervisors will be out of town for the day and he will not be able to have his visitation with the children.
So I made plans for the day.
Today NCP is telling me that he's waiting to hear back from one of the friends about visitation on Sunday. Rhetorical question: did he forget that he already told me that he couldn't on Sunday?
I know it's Father's Day, but COME ON!
 


C

CourtClerk

Senior Member
And since you know it's Father's Day, then reschedule your plans.

Oh, did you have a legal question or did you think you were talking to a bunch of your friends?
 
C

californiamom3

Member
Legally speaking NCP has supervised visitation once a week.
Not on a scheduled day or time, but once a week for one hour.
As far as friends being on this forum....no.
I do not feel as though I'm speaking to friends but it is not uncommon for moral issues to come up. There are other threads that have certainly turned into,
"What is the right thing to do" rather than "The legal thing to do"
I'm sorry this bothers you courtclerk.
 
C

CourtClerk

Senior Member
It's FATHER'S DAY for God's sake (1 day a year). Stop being so petty and accommodate the man YOU CHOSE to be the father of your child(ren). Yes, I realize it really bothers people to just show their children the right way every once in a while because usually it's the woman just HAVING to be right and be a big ole shrew, but ya know what? Stop it for once.
 
C

californiamom3

Member
Sad but true, the children don't even want to go. This man has been out of the country for over 5 years. They haven't seen him but 3 times in the past 6 years. They do not see him as their father so spending the day with him means nothing to them. Maybe one day it will.
None the less, I do not have to be right. He has to be right. I have been waiting for him to do something right for many years. I do not keep them from him when he doesn't pay child support (never!) I do not speak of him badly towards the children. Now that he is back in the country they will learn for themselves what kind of person he is. Difficult for me to stand back and watch the pain they go through when he lies and attempts to manipulate them.
Yet I will indeed stand back because I know that I have taught my children enough about good morals and values and they will eventually "see" for themselves.
I appreciate your sound moral advice courtclerk.
I have emailed him telling him that I will postpone my trip for later in the day so that he can have a morning hour.
I know what will happen, he will email me Sunday morning to tell me that he can't.
That will be on him, not I.
 
W

wileybunch

Senior Member
I *really* wish parents would quit claiming to know what their kids really want when it comes to their relationship with the other parent. YOU.CAN'T.POSSIBLY.TRULY.KNOW. Nor, for that matter, can they. They aren't old enough or equipped to make life changing decisions.
 
P

penelope10

Senior Member
I too am very sorry for your loss.

My Dad has advanced Parkinson's. He wasn't the world's greatest Dad for many years. But guess what, he's my Dad. I'll be taking he and my step out for Chinese that day. I choose to let go of my hurt feelings because quite frankly it was taking a toll on me and affecting my relationship with others. Dad and I aren't the best of buds, but I still communicate with him and have a relationship with the man.

OP this is Father's Day for goodness sake. If he finds a supervisor, then by all means you should let Dad have the kiddos.

You can be as angry as you wish at the kid's Dad. By fueling the fires for your children to be angry as well is not healthy for them. Even if.
 
C

californiamom3

Member
txmom
I am so sorry for your loss. No matter what kind of relationship you have with your parent it's never easy. My sisters estranged husband commited suicide last week. They were going through a lot of crazy stuff....doesn't matter....he was a great dad to his 3 children, so sad.
I did email dad offering the morning of Father's Day. I even offered more than an hour. He said he could not commit. Should I be expected to scrap any plans for the whole day and wait for him to come up with somebody to supervise? Should I sit by the computer on Sunday and wait to hear from him? I don't think that's quite fair either. The kiddos and I have a life as well.
I received an email from him this morning that says,
"Can you please confirm 6pm on Sunday."
It is a game of control for him. He has no rights at the moment and will push as far as he can. He continues to write to kiddos about dropping the supervision, he continues to write to kiddos about times and dates of visits.
I'm at a quandry at the moment. He has been gone for a long time. I wish that he had come back a better man for the childrens sake. I was more than willing to work with him if he had. The children deserve a decent father. So frustrating.
 
W

wileybunch

Senior Member
OP, STOP IT! Him having the kids at 6PM (end of day -- or even start of day if he'd requested his HOUR at 9AM) is the best YOU could have hoped for, not that YOU are the consideration here. So, please, knock it off!!!
 
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