Can I move out of state with disabled son ?

[CJane]

I am not saying that I think that she will win. I am simply saying that I am not convinced that she will automatically lose either...despite my normal convictions that parents don't stand a chance when custody is 50/50.

I'm not convinced it's an automatic loss. Though if he gets an attorney and she attempts to go pro se with nothing more than "My husband can (maybe) get a better job there and the schools are (maybe) better equipped" I think she stands a very slim chance.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm not convinced it's an automatic loss. Though if he gets an attorney and she attempts to go pro se with nothing more than "My husband can (maybe) get a better job there and the schools are (maybe) better equipped" I think she stands a very slim chance.

I agree...although its sounds to me like her research was a little more thorough than that. Again though, I am not stating that she will win.

This forum has a tendency to make it look like a moving parent never can win...and I certainly contribute to that when it comes to 50/50 situations...or ncps that want to move and take the children with them, but parents do get permission to relocate with children all the time, and with the medical issues element (with the child's condition) I don't think that we can say with any certainty that she will lose, or that she even should lose.

If her son could really get the necessary help/education to be able to be independent somewhere other than where she lives, who are we to say that its not in the best interest of the child to relocate? We are not experts on his condition.

However, I absolutely agree that she very well could lose.

 

[CJane]

I agree...although its sounds to me like her research was a little more thorough than that. Again though, I am not stating that she will win.

This forum has a tendency to make it look like a moving parent never can win...and I certainly contribute to that when it comes to 50/50 situations...or ncps that want to move and take the children with them, but parents do get permission to relocate with children all the time, and with the medical issues element (with the child's condition) I don't think that we can say with any certainty that she will lose, or that she even should lose.

If her son could really get the necessary help/education to be able to be independent somewhere other than where she lives, who are we to say that its not in the best interest of the child to relocate? We are not experts on his condition.

However, I absolutely agree that she very well could lose.

Yeah, this forum is VERY anti-move away. And yes, very often parents get permission to relocate. I think the odds are actually swinging in favor of relocation in a lot of cases of 'standard visitation' as long as the general time is preserved.

 

[Just Blue]

For the most part I am against a parent moving their child away from the other parent. But I do want to point out that just because services exist doesn't mean they are easily available.

Massachusetts is the Medical Capital of the Country..Heck! People come here from all over the world to get medical treatment. I had a hell of a time getting help for lil'blue. Getting into see a Pedi-Neurologist took six months...I was on an 18 month waiting list for a Neuro-Psychologist until I was referred to a Behavioral Center by her new pedi...This center did evals without a wait.
I was very fortunate to have moved to the community I now live in...We have excellent schools with well funded special ed. My DD (7 last week) is testing at a 4th grade level w/ social skills at age appropriate levels. 3 1/2 years ago she could only say about 35 comprehensible words.It took me over a year to get her help...I can't imagine how difficult this would have been in another state without the resources and medical availability that Massachusetts has.

I do find it REALLY hard to believe that Texas has better resources and schools tho. I thought Texas had one of the worst school systems in the country... Perhaps I'm wrong...

 

[jkejakesmom]

What benefits your son is continued, CONSTANT contact with his FATHER. If you think that that's not important, then you go ahead, move to Texas, leave your child in Wisconsin and YOU visit your child since your husband will have such a great job. You'll be able to afford to come back whenever you want, and it'll be cheaper to buy one ticket as opposed to two.

Somehow, I see this as not being an option for you - but you'd like to make it an option for this child's FATHER.



In this instance, I would suggest dad lawyer up now and fight you on this until you either decide not to move or leave the child with him and I wish him good luck.

All I asked for was a simple YES or NO is this possible. And all I'm getting is "leave your child with the father , you go and move to Texas". I wanted to move there FOR my child.I didn't know it was being a bad mom to want to try and give your child a better life.Parents move out of state with there children all the time. Not like i'm the first person to ever think of doing this.

 

[jkejakesmom]

I'm not convinced it's an automatic loss. Though if he gets an attorney and she attempts to go pro se with nothing more than "My husband can (maybe) get a better job there and the schools are (maybe) better equipped" I think she stands a very slim chance.

My husband WAS offered a better job making almost $8.00 more an hour. Doesn't that benifit ALL involved rather than staying in a town that has lost more than 2,000 kobs in the last 6 moths. Where will we be when HIS job decides to close their doors. Betcha DAD isn't going to support us.

 

[Just Blue]

OP...Filthy language will not be tolerated here. If you can't conduct yourself in an adult manner, go hire a lawyer to assist you.

If you can't handle it here then you are going to fail in court.

 

[jkejakesmom]

Boy your screen name sure does fit you. I AM done here . A simple question has turned into me receiving the" worst mom of the year award' all because I love my son and want him to have the chance to lead a somewhat normal life .To become SOMEONE some day and not a WARD of the state.If wanting whats best for our children gets you that,then I guess everyone in the world gets that award.

 

[kimberlywrites]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law) ? Wisconsin
At one point he REFUSED to give our son his medication. I took him to court and was granted SOUL medical rights.


I'm curious...even with sole medical rights, how did you get dad to give your son his medicine, since he still has 50-50 custody?

For kids with ADHD (I don't know much about autism) who are NOT taking a stimulant, but rather a nonstimulant (like Straterra) just three days without the meds would put that child back to square one. It takes weeks to build up in the system and only a few days to leave it. How do you MAKE the other parent give the meds?
(PS - I live in Texas and it's a wonderful state. Check out the Monarch School web site. People come from all over the world to have their child go there)
(PS2 - I am in agreement with LDiJ about this one. I am usually very anti-moving...but this case is different)

 

[nextwife]

OK, NEXT WIFE You tell me where there is resources in Wisconsin that I will be able to move my family to and that my husband will find a job that makes what he makes in the field he is in.

Betcha DAD isn't going to support us.

And what about YOUR job?

Many of us are still doing fine in WI even WITH some cuts to our salaries, if we are sharing the financial responsibilities. WHY should dad's access to his child be reduced only to suit your HUSBAND'S career needs? Hubby is a legal stranger to your child. How is YOUR career doing? Have you attempted to find a different place in WI where YOU can earn more in your career? Are you helping make up the financial gap so that your household doesn't NEED to move so far away to get by?

And just because you may be in some town that doesn't have ready access to resources doesn't mean there isn't a place within a one to three hour drive that DOES. Certainly there are places FAR closer than TEXAS, for pete's sake. And where have you read that TEXAS public education is superior to WI? I've never heard that.

WikiAnswers - Which US state is purported to have the best public education


Madison has a University hospital with all sorts of resources. So does Metro Milwaukee. St Francis Children's Center has the Birth to Three Early intervention services for the county, and has continued services after three. Additionally, there are non profit organizations that offer respite services for parents of Autistic and other challenged kids to get some time of their own. MY kiddo is in programs that have autistic children participating.

Here are a few links:

WEAP Services
ASW - Wisconsin Autism Resources
Autism Homepage
A school where kids won't be alone - JSOnline

 

[abys32]

Yes I would fly home with him and that is where my husband getting a good paying job would come in handy. We WOULD be able to have that luxury of sending him home for extended weekends , holidays and summers.
I was only trying to find a simple is this possible or not answer and everyone has to ASSUME that there are other motives. I am just trying find options that I think might benefit our sons life.

Welcome,
First of all, it sounds like you have made a real effort to coparent so far. It sounds like what you are presenting is two sets of reasons to argue your case for being able to move with your son. 1) the job 2) the education. Both are legitimate concerns. Is what you are asking is how the courts could respond if you present them there, especially since your child's father does not agree with the move? You are wondering whether either or both issues compounded help your case?

Would you describe the education issue? What services does he currently receive and what is lacking in your district compared to Texas?

 

[jkejakesmom]

Easter Seals Wisconsin : Services for Children and Adults with Disabilities and Special Needs[/url]

Until you have done research on programs that are available or you know exactly where I live in Wisconsin I'd think twice about offering up information about Autism services. I have checked with Easter Seals and the organizations they have are 4 hrs. away. Nothing like putting an Autistic child in a car for a 15 hr day. Do you even have any knowledge on Autism ? Do you even have kids ? I have checked into summer camps or weekend get a ways with the Easter Seals program. Know what they charge ? $800.00 . Now you tell me you don't need a good job to be able to offer your child a chance to be around kids and adults that understand you. Guess what ? We don't qualify for any assistance because they say we make to much money.EVERYTHING comes out of our pockets.A family of 5 making $ 42,000.00 a year is TO much money. Do research BEFORE you offer up your advice

 

[abys32]

Have you tried searching or posting on an Autism website? Parents of autistic children tend to be a strong group with strong advocates, particularly educational advocates. I can offer some links if you are interested.

 

[jkejakesmom]

That's right...I'm a very nasty person for reminding you to act like an adult.

With your lack of social skills it is no wonder your child is having difficulty. You should be helping your son at home and obviously you are not capable of that.

Perhaps Dad would do better.

Maybe you should know a little more on DEAR OLD DAD before you make the assumption that he can do better. If you only knew that DAD doesnt do HIS part, he leaves most of it up to His wife and me. Just this weekend , when it was HIS weekend, our son had a major meltdown at the step moms nephews b-day party and it was "Embarrassing "that people had to see HIS son act that way. Guess who DAD called.... ME. (And it's not the first time.)So I had to change my plans because they were to EMBARRASSED to leave the party and go home like WE do when he's at our house.How about DAD getting busted 3 times for drunken driving and when he has to sit in jail he tells his son that he is going fishing in Minnesota for 2 weeks. What about the pot pipe I found on his truck seat next to HIS sleeping child. Know the facts BEFORE making judgments on someone who loves their child.

 

[jkejakesmom]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law) ? Wisconsin
At one point he REFUSED to give our son his medication. I took him to court and was granted SOUL medical rights.


I'm curious...even with sole medical rights, how did you get dad to give your son his medicine, since he still has 50-50 custody?

For kids with ADHD (I don't know much about autism) who are NOT taking a stimulant, but rather a nonstimulant (like Straterra) just three days without the meds would put that child back to square one. It takes weeks to build up in the system and only a few days to leave it. How do you MAKE the other parent give the meds?
(PS - I live in Texas and it's a wonderful state. Check out the Monarch School web site. People come from all over the world to have their child go there)
(PS2 - I am in agreement with LDiJ about this one. I am usually very anti-moving...but this case is different)

I took him to court and the Judge ordered him to give him our son the meds.