Can I move out of state with disabled son ?

[kimberlywrites]

OP, instead of throwing a fit, consider the questions and options the seniors are posing as rehearsal for court. If your ex lawyers up, the lawyer will ask all the same things...and more. you will have to prove why what you want to do is the best for your son. You say you did your research, but another poster threw a whole list at you that he/she found during an Internet search. You don't think your ex's lawyer won't show up with a list either? You'll be in for a huge surprise. The truth is, every single reason you have can be refuted.

 

[abys32]

None of them lived in WI either...

This is a *good* point. It helps all of the posters respond helpfully if they have an idea where the information is coming from in case there is a consequential difference amongst states laws. Some posters seem to recognize this because they have gone out of their way to report the difference of location.

I have noticed that LdiJ doesn't miss details through a thread.

 

[nextwife]

None of them lived in WI either...

But I do, and I am personally involved in programs in which there are SEVERAL families with autistic kids participating. Two of these families moved TO WI from other states. One child has a parent (Mom) who is a professor at the University of WI, in Milwaukee, and they obviously care about the educational resources available. And I handle real estate all over the state, so I am well aware of housing and other cost factors, statewide.

 

[kimberlywrites]

If you do return here - there are some posts here that seem to be saying that a step parent (e.g., your DH) income is not really relevant in terms of a custody case. Although, I am sure it is a concern to you and your family in "real" life, which is true for anyone.

What was not discussed here, is that your income and employment, as the child's parent, is relevant.

The consequence to you then, in terms of your original question, is that your DH employment may not be considered a factor in persuading the court in your favor.

In reference to your concerns about the father, if you think he is not responsible enough or has bad judgement with regards to your child, that could be relevant in terms of making a legal request to modify custody. That is not something you have pursued thus far, it seems. Certainly, the fact that he has drug paraphenalia lying around and has been in jail suggests questionable judgement, to say the least.
Questionable judgement does not necessarily mean that the child's father does not love him nor want to spend less time with him. From your previous posts, I think you would agree with that. It sounds like they have excercised their time with him quite consistently.

NOT a "fact" unless she can prove it.

 

[abys32]

NOT a "fact" unless she can prove it.

How do you prove it? In NJ, child protection will (initially) only search for evidence that a substance abuse allegation is true (i.e., a trash can full of beer cans suggest excessive drinking). If they don't have a court order to search, they probably can't check the glovebox for a pipe. Not too clear on their authority. Maybe family court offers different authority.

What are reasonable steps to take when one parent suspects the other of drinking/substance abuse? It seems like a slippery slope that can actually backfire.

Jailtime should be easy enough to prove though

 

[Isis1]

How do you prove it? In NJ, child protection will only search for evidence that a substane abuse allegation is true (i.e., a trash can full of beer cans suggest excessive drinking). If they don't have a court order to search, they probably can't check the glovebox for a pipe. Not too clear on their authority. Maybe family court offers different authority.

What are reasonable steps to take when one parent suspects the other of drinking/substance abuse? It seems like a slippery slope that can actually backfire.

Jailtime should be easy enough to prove though

that means nothing. i collect cans bottles and plastics. all my neighbors pitch in, my kids and i pick up others on walks. doesn't mean we drink all of them. and legally, what is excessive drinking?

jailtime doesn't prove it. a CONVICTION proves it.