Thoughts on costody??

[Isis1]

This is where i get confused, you say she can have babysitters, but she has two kids, she has a daughter from her ex-husband, and my son. She has no job, so why does she need a babysitter for up to five nights out of the week??

none of your business. she can have one. i'm not saying this to be rude, but it's not illegal for her to have a sitter. even if it's to go party at night. babysitters are not bound by any law to only sit when the parent is working.

 

[FLORIDANOW]

now, the grade issue. might be where you have a case. is child in tutoring? how can you better the child's day to day life to help him suceed? has the child been evaluated for any learning disabilities? therapy?

Child is not in tutoring, and already this year the teacher informed me that if he picks on one more of her students, she will have to report him to some kind of new bully program that if investigated, and finds his behavior to be a problem will get him kicked out of school.

And i mean no direspect in any of my post, its just frustrating to try and describe everything that is going on in detail for you to understand.

 

[Isis1]

Child is not in tutoring, and already this year the teacher informed me that if he picks on one more of her students, she will have to report him to some kind of new bully program that if investigated, and finds his behavior to be a problem will get him kicked out of school.

And i mean no direspect in any of my post, its just frustrating to try and describe everything that is going on in detail for you to understand.

no worries. my feathers aren't ruffled. i'm trying to help you. and thank you for taking it well.

get child into tutoring. and therapy. do what you have to do NOW, not after you file for custody. personally, i'd request to have th echild be put into a bully program. another child or not.

and yes, i say file for custody.

 

[FLORIDANOW]

none of your business. she can have one. i'm not saying this to be rude, but it's not illegal for her to have a sitter. even if it's to go party at night. babysitters are not bound by any law to only sit when the parent is working.

Did not know that, thank you for clarifying. I just assumed that her not having a job for the past year would be a good reason to have your kids more than 2-3 days of the week. I guess i look at it more from my side than from what the law says, but thats why i'm here. I know i look at it one way, but the court has a set way to determine costody, and as much as i think i should get him, they have the final say.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

This is where i get confused, you say she can have babysitters, but she has two kids, she has a daughter from her ex-husband, and my son. She has no job, so why does she need a babysitter for up to five nights out of the week??

That dear man is none of your business. If I want to go out and get a sitter while I hang out with my friends, go shopping, go to dinner ect..... Its my choice. You have no say in how she spends her time as long as the child is being taken care of.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Did not know that, thank you for clarifying. I just assumed that her not having a job for the past year would be a good reason to have your kids more than 2-3 days of the week. I guess i look at it more from my side than from what the law says, but thats why i'm here. I know i look at it one way, but the court has a set way to determine costody, and as much as i think i should get him, they have the final say.

I assume you dont think the mother would be willing to work out you having the child for more time? I really think and If I am wrong someone will correct me. that her changing his schools 3 times in one year would be a substantial change. Plus its been a couple years since you went back to court in the meantime things change.

 

[FLORIDANOW]

That dear man is none of your business. If I want to go out and get a sitter while I hang out with my friends, go shopping, go to dinner ect..... Its my choice. You have no say in how she spends her time as long as the child is being taken care of.

"That dear man" is none of my bisiness???

How?? If he is mis-behaving in school , missing school/being tardy, then how is it not my business when the reason for those things are because she is going out during the week and leaving him with her parents who dont make him do his homework, and cant get him to school on time. If she spent more time at home with our son, then she could possibly correct these things dont you think??

 

[Isis1]

"That dear man" is none of my bisiness???

How?? If he is mis-behaving in school , missing school/being tardy, then how is it not my business when the reason for those things are because she is going out during the week and leaving him with her parents who dont make him do his homework, and cant get him to school on time. If she spent more time at home with our son, then she could possibly correct these things dont you think??

you were doing so well.....focus.

you need to focus on the issue at hand. the child, and the child's school, his behavior.....that's where you need to be. not on what mom is doing.

 

[FLORIDANOW]

I assume you dont think the mother would be willing to work out you having the child for more time? I really think and If I am wrong someone will correct me. that her changing his schools 3 times in one year would be a substantial change. Plus its been a couple years since you went back to court in the meantime things change.

She wouldnt work with me at all, it is not her that i would be fighting really, it would be her father. He has said recently that she should just let HIM have costody, and the granmother tells me that he acts like the child is his because of all the time they spend with him.

 

[FLORIDANOW]

you were doing so well.....focus.

you need to focus on the issue at hand. the child, and the child's school, his behavior.....that's where you need to be. not on what mom is doing.

Back on track....I will contact his school tomm and find out more about the bully program, as well as tutoring programs.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

"That dear man" is none of my bisiness???

How?? If he is mis-behaving in school , missing school/being tardy, then how is it not my business when the reason for those things are because she is going out during the week and leaving him with her parents who dont make him do his homework, and cant get him to school on time. If she spent more time at home with our son, then she could possibly correct these things dont you think??

Originally Posted by FLORIDANOW
This is where i get confused, you say she can have babysitters, but she has two kids, she has a daughter from her ex-husband, and my son. She has no job, so why does she need a babysitter for up to five nights out of the week??

This is what I was referring to and I again say noneya. Listen its just not ok? If you dont like file something to get more time. Im not being harsh but try that in court but judge she goes out and uses a babysitter most of the time her own parents shes terrible judge I swear! and see how far it gets you.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Back on track....I will contact his school tomm and find out more about the bully program, as well as tutoring programs.

Dont forget to get copies of his school records. And grandpa doesnt have a chance in hell of any custody as long as there is a dad (you) in the picture wanting it.

 

[FLORIDANOW]

This is what I was referring to and I again say noneya. Listen its just not ok? If you dont like file something to get more time. Im not being harsh but try that in court but judge she goes out and uses a babysitter most of the time her own parents shes terrible judge I swear! and see how far it gets you.

As much as i dont want to accept what you are saying...i completely understand now that i look at it that way.

 

[Proserpina]

"That dear man" is none of my bisiness???

How?? If he is mis-behaving in school , missing school/being tardy, then how is it not my business when the reason for those things are because she is going out during the week and leaving him with her parents who dont make him do his homework, and cant get him to school on time. If she spent more time at home with our son, then she could possibly correct these things dont you think??

(the correct answer to your last question is "yes, it's possible. And it's possible that the problems would be ongoing despite her being home every night".)

Can you prove that this is ALL because she goes out every night?

Nope, you can't - that's all that's really meant by the post

ETA: please, for the sake of kiddo, forget the defensiveness. It's not needed, it's not effective and can harm you a heck of a lot more than you might realize. You're not being told these things to anger you or offend you - it's solely to try and help you focus on what is really the priority here..y'know?

 

[FLORIDANOW]

(the correct answer to your last question is "yes, it's possible. And it's possible that the problems would be ongoing despite her being home every night".)

Can you prove that this is ALL because she goes out every night?

Nope, you can't - that's all that's really meant by the post

ETA: please, for the sake of kiddo, forget the defensiveness. It's not needed, it's not effective and can harm you a heck of a lot more than you might realize. You're not being told these things to anger you or offend you - it's solely to try and help you focus on what is really the priority here..y'know?

I understand...thanks for your, and all other responses, its greatly appreciated!!