Questions on Paternity,visitation,support

[Nicaho]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

So yesterday my ex gave birth to a beautiful little girl! (I did not stay the night for those of you who remember me asking about that) We had talked before she left me about the baby having my last name. She changed her mind and put her own on the birth certificate. She told me the nurses said legally she had to put hers. I asked them and they told me that she had a choice to put mine if she wanted to. Anyways...she started putting my info down on the paper but I had to leave before she finished. I wasn't going to sign anything anyways. Made it easy for me when she didn't ask again because I was scared that when I wasn't going to sign that she would get mad and ask me to leave. She is leaving the hospital today and made no mention of AOP or anything else regarding me as the father. She knows I am the father as do I and I can say that lil girl looks a lot like her daddy! Poor thing got my big ears...at least she can cover them with her long beautiful hair one day No...she is perfect!

So I called today to set up appointment at the prosecutors office to establish paternity and support. I go next week.

So I guess my question is, what are some questions I should ask? I don't want to miss something because I don't even know to ask. Maybe some of you have been in a similar situation and can give me some advice.

Once paternity is established I know I want to be included on the birth certificate and will be but would also like her to have my last name and not opposed to a hyphenated of both.

So I shouldn't give her any money until it goes to court right? I heard I will owe when the time comes from the day I file so when the time comes, lets say 4 weeks to get the paternity results, I will owe a lump sum? So just save for each week until the time comes or does it start when I actually go to court? Kinda confused. I want to pay and support dont get me wrong, I just want to do it all the legal way.

Well I am happy I am a father (or soon will be in the eyes of the law) and I will probably have lots of questions so thanks for any help you can share!

 

[Isis1]

first off, daddy. congratulations!!!! ain't it great???

i'm going to go read your previous threads just to get a good idea of what things to further ask for.

 

[AkersTile]

Well, everything that you posted is right on track.

Yes you need to file for custody, support, and visitation.

Putting money aside, in a savings account or something, is a very good idea. Then when CS is ordered, if there is any arrears, you can pay them and not be behind.

You seem to be on the right track with it all. Good Luck and Congratulations on your new baby!

 

[Ohiogal]

Going to the prosecutor will NOT get you enforceable custody/visitation rights. It will ONLY establish paternity and support. You need to file in court to establish custody/visitation so that you can have a relationship. Why didn't you want to sign the AOP if you are 100% certain that you are the baby's daddy?

 

[Isis1]

Going to the prosecutor will NOT get you enforceable custody/visitation rights. It will ONLY establish paternity and support. You need to file in court to establish custody/visitation so that you can have a relationship. Why didn't you want to sign the AOP if you are 100% certain that you are the baby's daddy?

can he log off and go back and sign it right now?

 

[poppabear]

Why didn't you want to sign the AOP if you are 100% certain that you are the baby's daddy?

can he log off and go back and sign it right now?

In previous threads OP has stated he is 99.99% that the baby is his, however his ex seems to move on quickly and has another child who is already on his third "daddy" . It was really emphasized that if he had any doubt to get a DNA test. But since he thinks the baby looks like him he is encouraged to just sign the AOP? Weird, that seems to go against everything that is normally stated on the board.

 

[Isis1]

In previous threads OP has stated he is 99.99% that the baby is his, however his ex seems to move on quickly and has another child who is already on his third "daddy" . It was really emphasized that if he had any doubt to get a DNA test. But since he thinks the baby looks like him he is encouraged to just sign the AOP? Weird, that seems to go against everything that is normally stated on the board.

i think OG likes to put the question out there for there fore the OP, not for herself.

i just want to know if he COULD. i'm a nosey person.

i still say get the DNA.

 

[CJane]

can he log off and go back and sign it right now?

An AOP requires the signature of BOTH parents. And, in some states, if it's not done before the Mother/Baby leave the hospital, requires that it be signed in front of a notary.

I, personally, think it's AWESOME that he didn't sign it.

OP, you'll be able to petition the court to change the child's last name - likely to a hyphenated version. You can make that part of your motion for custody/visitation.

As OG said, setting up child support does NOT give you ANY actual rights. Only the obligation to pay support.

You've been linked to the IN parenting time guidelines. You can count on following those.

And honestly? 4 weeks? You're dreaming. I filed for CS in April, got an "order" in June, did DNA in August, had a hearing in November, and started getting CS in December. Child was almost ONE before CS was handled. And now it's been three years, I filed for a mod in June, have a hearing in Feb, and probably no decision/new order til June.

I know I'm in a different state, but nothing is ever as easy as we think it is.

Yes, child support will be backdated to the filing date. So if you file now, and there's no order until say.... May, you'll be 3-4 months in arrears. You will NOT likely have to pay a lump sum, just a little extra every month to get caught up. Though it's unlikely anyone would be upset with you if you paid a lump sum.

 

[Nicaho]

Well I have been getting conflicting advice on many things.

Mom never made mention of AOP or for me to sign anything.

I knew that I was gonna have to go to court for visitation and many people said dont sign anything until you get a paternity test. Although I do Believe she is mine now, up until this point their was and still is a chance of her not as she was unfaithful during the relationship. Time line matches up with me and she looks like me but is that enough to just sign? I dunno.

So do I look like the bad guy because I didnt want or ask to sign anything??

I just figured since I have to go to court for visitation I might as well just get it all done legally. I know the AOP is legal but again no mention of it, and isn't paternity test better or just proof positive?

 

[Ohiogal]

I am not against him getting a DNA test. I was just questioning his motiviation is all. A test will remove any and ALL question about the child.

 

[Isis1]

Well I have been getting conflicting advice on many things.

Mom never made mention of AOP or for me to sign anything.

I knew that I was gonna have to go to court for visitation and many people said dont sign anything until you get a paternity test. Although I do Believe she is mine now, up until this point their was and still is a chance of her not as she was unfaithful during the relationship. Time line matches up with me and she looks like me but is that enough to just sign? I dunno.

So do I look like the bad guy because I didnt want or ask to sign anything??

I just figured since I have to go to court for visitation I might as well just get it all done legally. I know the AOP is legal but again no mention of it, and isn't paternity test better or just proof positive?

defintely get the paternity test. it doesn't make you look like a bad guy requesting it. it makes you legally smart.

if mom wants to get her post partum undies in a knot, that's her problem.

 

[CJane]

I knew that I was gonna have to go to court for visitation and many people said dont sign anything until you get a paternity test. Although I do Believe she is mine now, up until this point their was and still is a chance of her not as she was unfaithful during the relationship. Time line matches up with me and she looks like me but is that enough to just sign? I dunno.

Wouldn't be enough for me to sign. And I think it was smart of Mom not to bring it up.

I TRIED to get my ex to do the whole DNA thing instead of the AOP and he refused. Until I wanted child support, and then all of a sudden the kid couldn't possibly be his.

This way, there won't ever be a question if the child is yours or not.

 

[CJane]

if mom wants to get her post partum undies in a knot, that's her problem.

Huh?

 

[Nicaho]

And honestly? 4 weeks? You're dreaming. I filed for CS in April, got an "order" in June, did DNA in August, had a hearing in November, and started getting CS in December. Child was almost ONE before CS was handled. And now it's been three years, I filed for a mod in June, have a hearing in Feb, and probably no decision/new order til June.

No I have no idea really. Kinda just throwing a number out there. I have a woman friend that went through something similar and she got into court a week after the test results came back which took a little over 3 weeks so in her case it was only about a month. She also lives in a small county while mine is probably one of the most populated. So I know this is going to be a long process.

Mom has no idea I am doing any of this. She thinks I am just going to sit back and let her dictate how things go. I am going over to her place today to visit for a couple hours. My biggest fear is that when she finds out what I am doing that she wont let me visit anymore until court That's why I hate to do any of this but I know it protects me in the long run.

Two weeks before the baby was born she asked me when I was gonna start paying support. Like she wanted me to start right then. I don't want to sound wrong or mean by saying she is money hungry but that's one of the reasons she left me for another man. She also does not work and lives off the state (while living with her new boyfriend) I just know she is going to ask for support by weeks end and when I tell her I am only paying thru the courts, she is gonna be way mad! I will pick up a couple packs of diapers because I just feel like I need to provide in some way in the mean time.

 

[CJane]

No I have no idea really. Kinda just throwing a number out there. I have a woman friend that went through something similar and she got into court a week after the test results came back which took a little over 3 weeks so in her case it was only about a month. She also lives in a small county while mine is probably one of the most populated. So I know this is going to be a long process.

The "woman friend" had access to the baby, and therefore the DNA that's required. YOU are going to have to get a court order, serve Mom, she'll have to go to the swabbing place, etc.

Mom has no idea I am doing any of this. She thinks I am just going to sit back and let her dictate how things go. I am going over to her place today to visit for a couple hours. My biggest fear is that when she finds out what I am doing that she wont let me visit anymore until court That's why I hate to do any of this but I know it protects me in the long run.

It's VERY likely she won't let you see the child until a court orders her to. EVEN AFTER child support is established. And she's under no obligation to do-so. At all.